We all need our friends right now, even if we can't see them in person...

Hi all! This will be a quick check-in for the week, as if I'm being honest, things aren't so great right now. I'm worried sick about the kids, who are struggling mightily with being cooped up in the house all the time, and with zero routine or social interaction with anybody but us. We're all struggling with it, and there are no easy answers. This isn't to complain, just to say that my time is pressed quite a bit right now giving them the attention that they need. 

What I'd like to do is come up with a posting plan/theme for Easter season, and that'll take a week or so. In the meantime, my monthly post is up at Catholic Mom, and it really speaks to what is on my heart right now:

Even though I haven't seen my local friends in over a month, their presence in my life has been joy-giving to the utmost. Checking in with differnet groups of them each day has kept me sane and given me little smiles to look forward to throughout each day. It means the world to me.

I'm performing in an online dance show this weekend, that should be...interesting, and perhaps fodder for next week. :-) I'm not used to dancing for an "audience" in the middle of my living room, to be sure. But that's been a welcome distraction. In the meantime, hang in there, everyone. Each week perhaps I'll spotlight some small joy that we can revel in while we are at home? My wheels are turning, for sure. :-) Do you have any ideas for the blog community this Easter season? Drop them into the comments!

Is it time for a change?

So, I've been going through some stuff. Nothing serious, but I've been under some stress since this past fall. Mostly, it's related to my kids, and the anxiety I've been experiencing from the changes in their lives as they both get older. Having my son start high school has been the greatest crisis in my life as a parent since dealing with epic sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, and temper tantrums from the infant and toddler years. I'm prone to anxiety by nature, and this ramped it up to a degree that for the first time, I've sought out a licensed therapist to help me to cope with it all better. That's a good thing, and it's helping, and I'm grateful for that. Overall though, I've noticed something about myself: my sense of self is much more defined than it's ever been, and my perspectives have shifted a bit. That comes from age and experience, I suppose. But I'm much more aware now of the things and people in my life that I treasure, and simultaneously I'm also much more aware of my own mortality. My birthday is coming up next moth, and well, YOU KNOW. I'm pretty sure this is the very definition of a midlife crisis. :-0

I have this increased sense of carpe diem, like now is the time to really savor my relationships and experiences, and really challenge myself within the hobbies and avocations that I enjoy. That's all good stuff, what I worry about is this deeper sense within me of: "But what is it all for? What is the ultimate purpose of pursuing this?"

Now granted, some of those are easy. Spirituality-wise, I know what the goal is, and am always working on that. Check. Relationships are the same. We want loving, happy, healthy relationships for obvious reasons. But other stuff is tougher. Dancing is my greatest creative endeavor, and I'm definitely going through a Midlife Dance Crisis. ;-) What do I want from dance, ultimately? Am I achieving that? Honestly, I don't know.

The other thing is this blog. I've been writing here, and sharing with you, for a long time, over 10 years now. And...why am I doing it? I was struck recently that blogging isn't exactly the "in thing" anymore. I've always written because I enjoy it (same goes for dancing, truly), and that's reason enough, to be sure. But midlife crises involve DEEP PURPOSES, know what I'm sayin'? Some weeks it's a challenge to come up with an idea for a post. And our community is small (but mighty!) so I do wonder to myself if it's time to try something new. Is blogging really the best way to achieve my goal to write for enjoyment anymore?

Another reason that I started this blog was to share my faith. I still enjoy doing that quite a bit. I write for Catholic Mom on a monthly basis, and I have to admit that I love writing those pieces because it's only every 30 days. Each one feels like a fresh new opportunity to share something interesting about my faith life because it's been a whole month since I last penned one. I write multiple Gospel Reflections for them each year too, and adore working on those, because they really challenge me to dig into the scriptures and discern how they apply in my own life. I also love the Facebook group related to this blog that I manage. Our weekly prayer threads, posts on interesting Catholic gifts or stories, the novenas, LOVE that stuff. Because it's low key and spontaneous, and also because there's a fuller sense of community there. I also truly enjoyed writing my book in the scripture study series put together by my friend Allison, because I had the opportunity to collaborate with a duet of lovely women and really extend myself creatively in the process. So I share my faith in these other ways, and wish to continue doing so.

So what does this all mean in terms of this blog? I don't know, lol! I would love to hear from YOU. Do you still find it meaningful to follow this blog and read my posts on a regular basis? I write about an eclectic mix of topics: religious faith; crafts; family; fitness; belly dancing; books and podcasts; random weird stuff that happens to me. I mean...:-0 What do you think?!

I don't really have any notion of alternatives. Perhaps a change of style, in which this were a website with a blog feature that I update when inspired? A website that is curated with ways to easily navigate into posts on the varied topics that I tend to write about?

I'm all ears. But I do feel like this blog needs some TLC. I think I've been going through the motions with it for quite some time because I'm very commitment oriented, and I'm also quite averse to change. This blog has always treated me well, and I'd hate to give it up. It's definitely one of my babies, and I love the people I've met through it (you!). But it doesn't feel right to keep doing something the exact same way just because that's the way you've always done it, especially when the platform doesn't feel as inspired as it used to.

All thoughts quite welcome in the comments! :-)

When God tells you to slow down...

Since we last spoke, things have been a whirlwind in the world of your Catholic Librarian. And, don't get me wrong, it's not like I have it worse than anybody else. Everyone's lives are busy right now. We're all in this together. *hug*

But I've been having a hard time managing it all, both physically and emotionally. In the past week:

(1) Henry started high school, as well as the after school work study program to earn money towards his tuition, which runs every day. Our previous morning/afternoon routines are now in shambles.

(2) Anne started 3rd grade, and was decidedly NOT looking forward to going back. I think she's a little envious of Henry's exciting new situation in his new Catholic high school while she's back in the hum drum world of their K-8 school. I also think that, although she won't admit it, she misses Henry being there, and is lonely. Her class is very small this year, and although that's great for individual attention, I think she's sad about not being around more kids. She has a hang dog face each morning, and I'm a bit worried about this.

(3) My teaching schedule at work is still up in the air, despite it being the second week of the semester, and things are generally a bit chaotic right now with regards to our lesson planning. I'm stressed about it.

(4) My dance competition is in just over two weeks, and I have a pit in my stomach about it. We're also learning a new group choreography that we haven't finished yet, but need to perform with just a few weeks to practice at our next showcase. And now I'm going to be missing class this week due to a last minute restaurant booking. 😬

(5) We're getting our upstairs carpet replaced on Saturday, and the house is in complete disarray in preparation for that, with furniture moved to and fro, painting happening, and carpet being slowly pulled up from the staircase.

(6) I'm undergoing physical therapy for my recurring calf injury, and suddenly have appointments out the wazoo on my calendar intermixed with the teaching that is to come. Whenever that's finally all scheduled that is. 😓

And all week long, I've been battling what I thought were fall seasonal allergies, but I haven't been this sick with allergies in a long, long time: lethargy, congestion (both head and chest), sore throat, fever rash, the entire works. The night before last, I coughed so much I could barely sleep. When the alarm went off for the morning, I was like:

😳

I couldn't do it. I was at that point, I just couldn't do it. My mind was awhirl with my to-do list of approximately 146,783 items, but my body wouldn't let me. I was exhausted, and I physically had no energy to do any of it.

I got up, and helped the kids get ready for school. Got the lunches all set to go. Mike drove Anne to school, and I took Henry. Then I came home, called in sick, climbed back into bed, and dozed off. It's the best thing I could have done.

I had a physical therapy appointment at lunchtime, and I dragged myself to that. But otherwise, I stayed home, in my jammies, and rested up. I would get small bursts of normal feeling energy, but within the hour, my eyes were drooping closed and I'd lay down.

I'm back at work today, and the feelings of being overwhelmed are still very much present. I'm trying to manage them the best I can. But I think that yesterday, God was telling me that I had no choice, I had to rest. There was a lot that needed doing, and I couldn't do any of it. That's really hard for me to accept.

But it's life, you know? I can't always do and control everything. It's part of my personality, but I need to accept that sometimes things are going to be different and I have to accept that. I'm a work in progress on this, to be sure.

How about you? How does God get your attention when He needs to communicate an important message to you? ;-)

Some weeks are just like this...

Have you ever had a week wherein you felt like you couldn't catch your breath, there was just so much going on? That's this week for me, and as I type this, it's only Tuesday! 😂

Let's take a look at yesterday, shall we?

🚗

I teach 3 classes in a row, starting at 9 am, on Monday mornings. I got the kids' lunches all set, readied myself, and rushed into work. "Rushing" is always the theme of our day on Mondays, to be sure. Little Honda Fit and I pulled into the parking lot at 8:30. I took out my phone, and found a text from my boss (also my co-teacher for that 9 am slot) that she's at the classroom troubleshooting some issues with the online quiz we were set to administer that day. I let her know that I'll be there as soon as I can, and headed into the library with my gigantic Mary Poppins bag of crap.



via GIPHY

I stashed my stuff, quickly ran through my email, and headed out to the classroom. Upon my arrival, I started the frantic task of readying the classroom while she finished with the quiz. We finished in the nick of time, whew!

The 3 classes go fine, but this was the first time we've taught this particular lesson in this particular fashion, and there were some kinks to work out. I have really good groups of students on Monday, but by the end of the whole ordeal, I was downright grumpy. I grumpily groused back to my office, and entered my attendance. I went through new emails, and by this time I was hangry in a major way. I finally heated up my lunch, and tuned into the replay of the latest Facebook live sale with my local Lularoe consultant, Mindy. I'm sure most of you have heard of Lularoe, but it's clothing in limited edition prints. It can be hard to find a specific style/print in your size, because they only make so many of them. I had had Mindy keep an eye out for a specific top in my mom's size that I knew she had been hunting for, as I was looking for something special as a birthday gift to her. Mindy fortuitously received one in a shipment from the warehouse, and all was well.

So I'm watching the replay of the live sale, and I see that my mom had joined in on the video. I am hit with Sense of Foreboding Feeling #1 on the day. Although I knew she couldn't snag the exact top I had purchased for her, I knew that Mindy had also received similar tops in a few other sizes. I didn't want my mom to grab one of those, thus dampening the exciting nature of my birthday top coup.

Well, you guessed it. A top comes up in a size above hers that is VERY SIMILAR to the one I got for her, and boom. She claims it. I may have flared my nostrils. I may have gripped my sandwich in consternation. My mom is so hard to buy for!

I messaged Mindy, and we commiserate. We brainstormed, and I decided to try and pick something else out for my mom. This made me feel better, but it did add "stop at Mindy's" to my already packed to-do list on the week.

I spent the rest of the afternoon doing some grading and other workly maintenance. I left promptly so that I will have time to make dinner before my marathon of an evening. By which I mean a 3-tiered, 3 hour, stretch in which I had to attend the parent orientation for Anne's classroom, have a dance rehearsal for an upcoming performance, AND go to my regular Monday night Hipfit class.

😬

So the first thing I did was go home and make an egg souffle. 😂 The doesn't really seem like the first thing most people would do in a frenzied state, but I am not most people, I suppose. I am much, much more scattered and ridiculous than most people, ha! I quickly made the souffle (while having a cocktail, I'm not going to lie) and it actually turns out OK and does not fall! Hey, I was as surprised as the rest of the family. I changed into my workout clothes, and realized that I would have to wear those to the parent orientation night.

😱

I popped a skirt on over my leggings as subterfuge. As I pulled away from the house, I realized that I forgot to ask Anne what her classroom number was. That really just fits with the day, does it not?

I arrived, parked Fit, headed in, and wandered around. Someone took pity on me and asked what room I was looking for, and they directed me to the 2nd grade area. Gratefully, I found familiar faces, and then honed in on the sign-up sheet for parent/teacher conferences. I wanted a prime 6 pm slot. I saw it available, snagged it,  and made a spectacle of myself taking a photo of the sign-up sheet with my phone to text to Mike so that he can mark it on our family calendar. This made me feel organized.

Feeling a bit more in control, I headed into the classroom. Here is where I'm faced with Sense of Foreboding Feeling #2 on the day. This happens to me a LOT if you couldn't tell already. I recognized the other parents. But this was not Anne's classroom. This was the *other* 2nd grade classroom.

😳

I slunk out of the room, frantically erased my name on the sign-up sheet to the amusement of parents texting others out in the hallway, and kept walking. I finally encountered Anne's 2nd grade classroom, signed up for a conference, and miserably sat down on her tiny little chair in the stifling hot classroom. I will say, they kept things moving efficiently, but this had been a LONG day (for everyone!) already. The instant we were done, I had to jet to the dance studio for the drum solo rehearsal (I was late, and joined in mid-dramatic walk on stage) followed by our regular Hipfit class. By the time I got home, you could have scraped me up off of the floor. I was all done in.

Today, I had 2 classes, more grading and attendance work (I have 250 students, ugh), I'm stopping at Mindy's, making broccoli cheese soup, and then rehearing for our OTHER dance performance, which is this weekend in Toronto. It's broiling hot outside, and we're having a dress rehearsal tonight in our non-breathable, long sleeved, Saidi gowns.

😭

It's mid-September, people! It's not supposed to still be humid and in the high 80's, at least not in my part of the world. At any rate, the rest of the week is exactly like this (I teach until 6 pm Wednesday, have Girl Scouts with Anne Thursday evening, and need to prepare for my trip to Toronto on Friday). I definitely feel flustered and overwhelmed. But life is good. It is! I just feel a weensy bit overwhelmed right now. ;-)

So we're performing this weekend plus taking 8 hours of dance workshops. Yikes! I just did the math on that one. 😂 Am I too old for this?! Happily not, but I tell you, sometimes I wonder! I also have crafting stuff going on, and lots of family activities. Life is full, to be sure! Next week we can talk dance and crafts. And books. I have tons of ideas! I just need time to implement them. ;-) Have a great end of week, everybody! What's up with you this fall day?

*heart*

Official book club plans for Lent, and navigating the snow into the spring semester...

Good day to you all! I'm working hard to have a better week over here. It's been intense, to be sure. Once again (*long suffering sigh*) we've completely redesigned our course, and thus each week the way that we are presenting the material is totally new to us. As you can imagine, this makes for time consuming preparation, in addition to all of the teaching, grading and email answering that is involved with having 200 students. It's not entirely pleasant, but it's not all that unpleasant either, if that makes sense. I'm getting used to it again, and if you can believe it, the volume is actually *better* than it's been in previous semesters. So I'm trying to look at the positive things, and not complain about the negative things. It can be a challenge, but it's actually going pretty well.

We also continue to get lots of snow and cold temperatures here in Western New York. Not that this is an unexpected thing in the dead of winter, but this has been a much colder winter than usual. It does wear on a person after a time. I've had the winter blues a bit, and actually joined a gym to try and climb my way out of it. In fact, I think we need a whole separate post on that topic, since it is a brand new one to me. Look for that in the next few weeks. ;-)

Lent starts NEXT WEDNESDAY, how did that happen?! I've been busily planning away. I downloaded the Magnificat Lenten Companion, and plan to read that each night with Henry. I also may give up wine. 😨 That might be a little rough when I'm looking to wind down in the evenings after work and the kids go to bed, but I think it would be fruitful. What are your Lenten plans shaping up to bed?

There is also our book club to plan for! You know me, I'm a Kindle reader, so I downloaded the book yesterday:

I know many of you are awaiting your copy from your local library. Here are my thoughts: We'll begin reading as Lent starts, so our first official "meeting" won't be until the week after Ash Wednesday; out timeline will run through Holy Week. We'll have a little book chat weekly, and I'm aiming for posts on Thursdays. I thought Tea Time for the book club worked well for Advent, but this time I want to try written posts again. I rather missed doing them over Advent. And speaking of that issue...

I had a little heart-to-heart with myself, and realized that during Lent, while the semester is very much in full swing, I will not have time to both write a book club post each week *plus* put out a short Tea Time podcast episode. I really wanted Tea Time for the major liturgical seasons, but Lent simply isn't going to work, at least not this year. I still think Summer Ordinary Time is a very viable possibility though, so that is my goal. For now, I'd like to focus on weekly therapeutic posts, along with the book club. These will likely be together in one longer post each week.

And here is how I see the dates/reading assignments broken down:

February 22nd: Chapters 1-6
February 28th: Chapters 7-12
March 8th: Chapters 13-18
March 15th: Chapters 19-24
March 22nd: Chapters 25-30
March 29th (Holy Thursday): Chapters 31-36

How does this sound to everybody? The chapters aren't long (the book is about 340 pages total), so I think it will be manageable. As soon as your copy arrives, you can get to reading, and I think the timing will be good! Thoughts? Who do I have joining me this Lent?! Leave a comment!

"Why can I still not see this stupid portfolio? Was this not tested before they rolled it out?!" - 1st week of class adventures...

*waves weakly*

Hello all, I'm coming to you from a prone position on the ground, but otherwise, I'd say I'm holding up pretty well. :0 It's been an interesting start to my spring semester, but before we go there, we have to cover blog housekeeping, and thus talk about THE LENTEN BOOK CLUB!

Ok, so the tiebreaker poll was a bit of an epic fail. :0 We're all apparently book lovers who simply CANNOT be forced to choose between books because the tiebreaker poll ended in a tie.

😎

I get it, I really do! So here's what I propose that we do: Let's read The Thief for Lent, the theme is just SO perfect, and for the Summer Book Club we will read Kevin Lowry's conversion story, How God Hauled Me Kicking and Screaming into the Catholic Church. We will not have another book poll for a while, because well, we're all polled out. ;-) But we *clearly* all want to read these two books, and so we will read both! Let's work on acquiring The Thief for Lent, and after Easter we'll look at starting a Summer Book Club focused on apologetics in June-ish. Sound like a plan?

*virtual fist bump*

All right, sooooooo, my week. I'm exhausted, so there's that. Emotionally and physically. :0 It's not that it's gone poorly, but just like in every other semester, technical debacles abound the instant the first day of class rolls in. Combine that with multiple classes (I have 8 this semester, and this is the *lowest* number I've had since this enterprise started a year and a half ago), nearly 200 students to manage, and catching some sort of nefarious winter bug, and, you know, it takes a toll. I've been dragging the past few days, although my spirits haven't been down, so that's good.

I arrived on campus Monday morning in my little Honda Fit feeling mighty trepidatious. I know how first days tend to go: I walked up to my office, and soon learned that internet connectivity was spotty across campus due to a server issue of some kind. 🠔 Yeah, pretty much like that. :-\ My office PC was unaffected, but you want to know what was affected all day long? Our classroom's teaching station. And I was up for the 10 am class slot all by my lonesome.

Yyyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyyy 🎉

One of my colleagues finagled an iPad mini with an HDMI cable that was able to connect to the WIFI. So I was ultimately still able to use the teaching station and the projector, albeit a bit more awkwardly. The larger problem wasn't fully solved until Tuesday morning, but all's well that ends well, right?

Well. 😱

Tuesday morning found a new problem.

"Tiffany, are you over there? We have a problem. A BIG PROBLEM."

That's just what you want to hear shouted from your boss's office first thing in the morning, is it not?!

In the first few weeks of our library lab, we guide the students in creating an ePortfolio for their English course; we set them up with step-by-step video instructions on how to do this. Sounds foolproof, yes? It IS, unless a previously undiscovered little glitch occurs in the new ePortfolio software, and students cannot open or edit their portfolios after they've created them. This wouldn't be quite so apocalyptic save for the sheer volume of students that we teach in our lab - and this would be a couple thousand. Whenever we need to apply a fix with so many students affected, things get messy. Some had already created these ill fated ePortfolios, and so now we need to have them create new ones, but do other things to fix the problem and try to banish the old ones. Some had not yet created an ePortfolio, and so now we need them to do yet different things to create a Portfolio. Some will have no idea what is going on (can't really blame them in this instance), some will have 2 ePortfolios and forever be confused by which is which, some will not follow the correct instructions and will produce a malfunctioning ePortfolio, and some will do nothing at all until the end of the semester, when they will inevitably come complain to me about their low grade.

*collapses*

I've decided to deal with all of this...NEXT WEEK. 😳

I'm hanging in there; I mean, what else can we do?

I've also started to get the expected student emails, confused about where to click and look for assignments. No matter how clearly we try and spell things out in the directions, this always happens. I get it, to a certain extent. There's nothing like being addressed in an email as "respected madam," to make a girl feel old, though. :0

All right, that is my week in a nutshell! Over in CatholicLibrarianChildren Land, it is Catholic Schools Week, and my two munchkins have been enjoying all of the special activities and treats. I'm busily planning for Lent, and have I mentioned that despite my 100% failure rate with journaling, I want to try a journal again for Lent? Because THAT'S guaranteed to go well, right? What could go wrong?!

*high five!*

Let's discuss next week! In the meantime, what's up with YOU?! Would you rather our Lenten Book Club be Tea Time podcast discussions or written posts? I'd love to hear from you!

Dealing with winter stress, and break the Lenten Book Club tie!

Hi all! Happy new week to you! As I mentioned before, we have quite the dramatic turn in the Lenten Book Club poll! :0 Two books received the exact same number of votes, and it's been a week since anybody has voted, so I think that all of my regulars cast their opinion. I had the poll set to allow multiple votes (because why not? I like having that option. I have a hard time with commitment in these circumstances ;-)) and so now I made an executive decision. I could have just picked between the 2 books myself, but I didn't want to do that. I closed the poll, and put up a new one. You have til next Wednesday, January 31st, to vote for one of the top two books (and yes, this time you only can vote for 1!): either The Thief:

or How God Hauled Me Kicking and Screaming into the Catholic Church:

Scriptural-based historical fiction (involves the story of Longinus), or non-fiction apologetics/conversion testimony. Go to it!

In other news, I'm not having the best of days. :-\ It's just one of those stretches in which I have a lot on my mind:

• The semester starts in less than a week, and the frenzied preparation pace at work is very draining. I like a lot of quiet in my life (I'm a major Introvert), and this type of environment is extremely noisy, if you know what I mean.
• With the semester starting next week, my work life will go back to whiny emails about why assignments are not done on time. They haven't even started yet, and I'm already over it. 😶
• I'm always worried about my kids. I've given up on ever being in a relaxed state when it comes to them.
• I'm getting more requests for professional dance gigs, and although this is what I "wanted," the Scaredy-Pants, Insecure Tiffany that lurks within is feeling downright nauseous about the whole thing.
  
  All of this, in addition to the following pile-ons of late:
  
• My phone has decided that it suddenly doesn't want to connect to any other devices via Bluetooth. i.e. my Fitbit and my car's system such that I can play my podcasts in there. Fitbit challenges and podcasts are two of my sweet joys in life. And speaking of my car...
• My little Honda Fit has decided that he is a sensitive soul, and thus sometimes he needs to be macho with his gear stick. This means that when I'm driving along in 5th gear, and need to downshift into 2nd to make a turn, the stick will get "sticky" and not allow me to move it into any gear at all, let alone the one that I want. 😳 Even Mike, a lifetime driver of stick shifts, has commented that my gear stick is more challenging than most. But back to my phone, who should be put directly into the Naughty Corner...
• My podcast app decided that it didn't like a few of my feeds and was regularly throwing tantrums, refusing to download new episodes. I finally gave it the boot and downloaded a new app, despite the fact that I had paid for the old one. I've decided that I don't care, this one is working great, and isn't that what matters?

I feel exhausted from even thinking about all of this, and I've been down all day. Sometimes, it's just the way it goes.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to rally! Life is good, even amidst frustrating days.  Mike is taking the kids and I out to dinner tonight, I'm reveling in my new dance choreographies, and I'm happily deciding on what I'll be doing for Lent besides reading our book club entry. Do you all have any ideas for me?! I haven't given anything up for Lent in several years, I've tried to add things in instead. And well...sometimes those things don't make it all the way to Holy Week. :0 I already know, from Advent, that journaling is likely to go down the tubes quickly. What are your ideas? I'd love to hear from you!

The power of friendship in the face of anxiety...

Hello ALL! So nice to be with you again. It's been quite a month, hasn't it? :-) I have some more updates on that front, plus general musings on stress and anxiety in general. Have your coffee or tea? Let's chat!

I do miss our official Tea Time together on the podcast. But rest assured that it was the right decision to go on hiatus. :0 No time, right now, my friends, no time. Work has been crazy. Lots of teaching, lots of emails, lots of grading, and lots of the dreaded Course Management System changes in all 90 sections of the library lab we are teaching.

😱

You know, it's going. But it's all fairly monotonous, uninteresting, uninspiring, yet time consuming. In the midst of all of that, both kids are going through growth spurts, and Anne in particular seems to still be very much adjusting to her new school year. I've been worried about her. Henry is wanting to tour high schools, which is FREAKING ME THE HECK OUT. I finally know how to drive my new car (the whole stick shift saga), but I had some setbacks last week in the form of loss of confidence and general panic at making mistakes while out in traffic. It all took a definite toll.

Last Thursday, I had...just a terrible time of things. I couldn't control my anxiety. I was in tears, and I couldn't make myself feel better. I needed help.

And I got it. From Mike. From my close cadre of friends. Everyone rushed in to support me emotionally, and to encourage me. I took a much needed sick day from work. I slept a lot, a sure sign that my body was at far less than 100%. I prayed, and did some self-evaluating.

It helped. It really did. I realized that I had been feeling like my life was spiraling out of control, and the new car was just the tip of the ice berg: the kids are growing, my life is changing, and I felt like I couldn't get a good handle on ANYTHING. I have always had a difficult time with change, and things are changing now in ways that I just never really thought about when I was younger. I think that generally speaking, people envision their lives up to certain milestones. After that...you just think you'll never get there, you'll never be dealing with those things. It's a privilege to be sharing this part of my life with Mike, experiencing this all with him. I just never foresaw us getting older than 40, as ridiculous as that sounds. :0

This all made me realize that I was avoiding dealing with certain things in my life: that my kids are going to grow up, that Mike and I are going to get older, that my job is my job and is likely not going to change much before until I retire, that sometimes I will still make mistakes and do things poorly. It's not easy to accept change, but I must do it. Not only that, there is joy in it, if only I allow myself to experience it.

Ever since this all unfolded last Thursday, I have felt calmer and more myself. Driving has been going great. The problem was never the car. It was ME. I allowed anxiety and fear to take root and begin to take over my life. In a way, I'm grateful to the car for helping me to realize how much I was avoiding dealing with my much more generalized problem with anxiety.

So, I'm thinking this is a God thing. :) God speaks to us in many different ways, and in this instance, he spoke to me via my Honda Fit.

😀

Last Thursday was a turning point. Since then, I'm seeing things in a fresh new light. And in that vein, I'm going to be praying the St. Jude novena, which starts October 19th. Would you like to join in? I'm going to be praying for interior peace, and St. Jude can really come through for us for pretty much any intention. He is, after all, patron saint of impossible causes!

How has your week been, dear readers? Will you be praying along with the St. Jude novena? I'd love to hear from you!

Embracing the butterflies - When you deliberately make your life scary, & how to learn from it :0

All! I've been so anxious to be back with you again after last week's somewhat epic and lengthy post about me buying a car with a manual transmission without actually knowing how to drive it.

Yeeeaaaaaaahhhhh. That was really stressful.

But I've gotten some things out of this process, and not just the ability to now drive the car. Let's settle in and chat!

Friends...last week was LONG. There were swear words (real bad ones, too :0). There were tears. There were so many setbacks. There was an overwhelming feeling that I would never get it right and learn how to drive this car. I barely slept. I lost 2 lbs. This was FOR SERIOUS.

On Saturday, I gave long suffering Mike a much needed break, and went out with my mother-in-law to a big, empty parking lot for about 2 hours, just practicing getting the car going from a dead stop. That was the foundational skill I was struggling with the most, and indeed, the one most people struggle with when they're learning to drive a stick shift. She observed that I was releasing the clutch pedal too quickly, thereby causing the car to buck around violently even if it did manage to get it going, or stall if I didn't simultaneously give the car enough gas. Once we honed in on that, and fine tuned a few other things (I wasn't waiting for the clutch and gas to "catch" together before releasing the clutch slowly and easing on more gas) I noticed that I was getting the car going smoothly. Once I was getting the car going smoothly with some consistency, I began to realize that my feet were doing A Thing and that what they were doing could be duplicated again and again and again. Each time I did The Thing, I did not stall, or buck, or generally cause the car considerable angst.

Suddenly, I felt that magical moment deep down in my feet when the clutch and gas pedal met in perfect symphony, and the car would begin to move forward. If I then eased my left foot off the clutch, rather than rushing it, like I *had* been doing, I was GOLDEN. It truly was a matter of feel, and once I felt it, I committed it to my muscle memory. I practiced it another 300 times just to be safe ;-) but I knew a breakthrough had been made: I had learned how to get a manual transmission car going from a dead stop into 1st gear, and I had learned how to do it consistently. THAT is the key. Not really understanding what works and what doesn't on a consistent basis, not having The Thing going on with your feet, causes you to lurch and stall. Lurching and stalling causes you to become frustrated and anxious. Becoming frustrated and anxious causes you to lurch and stall even MORE. It's like learning to drive while on a continual, evil loop down in Satan's School of Driving and Minion Training. You know. In HELL.

After what felt like the 90th loop around the parking lot, I drove confidently to the exit and put on my right blinker. I was ready to drive out in traffic, and I knew it.

We drove around for about 30 minutes, coming to tons of stop signs. Each time I got the car going with ease, and upshifted from 1st through 5th gears with no problems. I had it, and an enormous weight had been lifted from my chest.

Granted, my downshifting into turns still needs some work, and I still have never driven on the highway. Being on an incline and rolling back before moving forward again makes my heart stop beating. I'm certain that I'll still go through some small setbacks along the way until I have a lot more experience under my belt. BUT. I've come a long way, baby. I can drive myself places now, and I've been doing so ever since. It's going to take a lot of experience before I can get in the car without butterflies, but I can officially say that I have learned how to drive a stick shift.

So, on our progress chart, we have this:

Week 1 - F bombs. Sobs. Throwing of self onto steering wheel in despair. Stalls, stalls, stalls.
Week 2 - Butterflies. Pep Talks:

"You can do this, girl. You can totally do this!"

"Go little Fit, Go! That was a good one!"

Hopefully, people think I'm simply using the Bluetooth to talk on my phone. :0

Surges of hope. Feelings of accomplishment. The joy of knowing that I truly am not too old to learn new and challenging skills.

I know it's just a car. But it feels like a really big deal to me. I took something that I'd always wanted to learn, something that did not come very easily to me at all, and I worked at it until I could do it. This is something that could apply to so many things in life, yes?

Sunday I went to Piercing Pagoda with my friend Brandy to get her ears pierced. Brandy had never had her ears pierced because of a very deep seated fear from her childhood. She had always wanted to do this, but thought she wouldn't be able to because the anxiety felt so debilitating, like something she could not overcome. I relate very much to debilitating anxiety, and so this weekend we took on some scary new things together. Brandy got her ears pierced. Afterward, I got very emotional and cried, telling her how much I loved her and how much it has meant to me to have met her and become her friend. How much she inspires me to try new things, things that I am afraid of, things that make me learn and grow as a person. Yep, right there in the middle of the mall. :0

I felt God's hand in all of this. Maybe I needed to get Fit so that I could challenge myself in this new way, and become a stronger person, a lifelong learner. Perhaps it'll inspire courage in me at some future point in which someone really needs me to be brave. Perhaps it was so that I could be there for Brandy, so that we could face fears together and grow from that. Perhaps it's so that I will continue to grow in empathy and charity towards others. I suspect that it is ALL of these things.

It was a good weekend, a really good one, filled with faith, family and friends. We went out to dinner with my in-laws on Saturday following the 5 pm vigil Mass at our parish, in which Henry served on the altar (I drove us!). It occurred to me that this truly is the good life.

That's my week in review. Work is pretty intense right now, but it's going well. Our teaching for the semester will be done in early November, and I'm really looking forward to that. I'm headed to the NY Sheep & Wool Festival next weekend, and I'm REALLY looking forward to *that*!

I miss chatting with you all in Tea Time. We'll be back to that soon enough!

How are you all doing? Do you have any stories to relay about learning things that actually apply in multiple ways? Let's hear them!

"WHY have I never learned to think things through more?!" *tears!* Adventures in ill advised life decisions :0

It's been quite a week since the last time we talked. Remember how I mentioned the stressful car repair situation? Well, that took a somewhat surprising turn. The past 6 days or so have been a blur of emotions and prayer, let me tell you. You got time to chat? I need it. Let's get our beverages!

So, last Thursday, right after I last posted, I got a call from my mechanic about the part my aging Honda Civic needed. I had been feeling anxious about hearing from him, because the car was really in bad shape, and I didn't feel totally safe driving it. I get a message from him, and call him back between classes. When he hears that it's me, he says:

"Oh yes. Well. This isn't going to be cheap."

This from the man whom I regularly pay $600 at a time for various and sundry car-related reasons.

I braced myself for the total, now that he had the part actually lined up: $1700.

😱

My car is nearly 18 years old. Now that the number was concrete, Mike and I agreed that it just wasn't worth it to get it fixed. We fretted about coming up with the money for the down payment, but we have savings for this very reason. We'd look for a lease we could afford and hope for the best.

I suppose that's where the worrying process began, but ironically, money turned out not to be the main concern at all. :0

I had my heart set on a Honda Fit. When I bought my Civic back in 2000, they didn't yet have the Fit in their fleet. The Fit is the perfect size for me, and I ADORE hatchbacks. I had one in my very first car, a Nissan Sentra from the 80's, and the thought of having one again really appealed to me. I can put the seats down, get my dance paraphernalia in there, giant Scentsy boxes, the Christmas tree... ;-) They also get great fuel mileage, and are incredibly adorable. Plus, they're less expensive than Civic. Win/win, right?

Well. It's the end of the model year. The great leasing deals are on the 2017 vehicles, not the new 2018 ones. There aren't many 2017 Fits left to be had anywhere, and throughout Central and Western New York, all the way down to Erie, the only vehicles remaining all had manual transmissions.

"Do you know how to drive a manual, Tiffany?" you reasonably ask. Not exactly. But yet, what is sitting in my driveway at home right now?

YEAH. What can I say? I had a bold moment. I suppose some people would just say that I've lost my mind.

In fact, at this moment, *I* think that I have lost my mind. But Mike drives a manual and loves it, and is SO EXCITED to teach me. I suppose true love made me do it?

"Hon. This bold side of you is really...NICE."

*meaningful look*

Is this a guy thing? 😳

Pretty sure it is, but right now, I have LOTS of other things occupying my little brain.

I have been driving for 25 years. Until Saturday, I had never driven a car with a manual transmission. But guess what? I now have no choice. This not-quite-middle-aged mom, librarian and belly dancer has to learn how to drive a stick shift. And let's just say that it's going a tad rough:

"OK, what the *%;#! with this clutch/acceleration thing to get started?! How did cars even evolve like this? WHO ever thought this was a feasible long term model?!"

"All right. I got it that time. I'm doing better, right? Now...Wait, what just happened? CRAP!!"

"I'm not going to stall this time. I'm determined not to. We'll just give it a little more gas..."

*SCREECH SQUEAL JERK!*

*delicate clearing of throat*

"See? That was...'better.'"

"Look! It's moving! Oh God. There's another car! I don't want him to come near me!!"

My poor, poor husband. But he, and everyone else who drives a stick shift, tell me that I'm:

"...already 80% of the way there since you already know how to drive!"

Um, NO. I don't feel like I'm 80% of the way there. In fact, I feel like I'm 16 years old and that I'm learning how to drive all over again.  I am here to tell you, good and gentle readers, that this is NOT a very pleasant feeling.

Sunday night, after an outing with more stalls and jerks back to a start than I could possibly count, I was in tears. Mike keept reassuring me that I'm coming along fine, that it takes WEEKS to get comfortable with a stick shift, and that this is all a very normal part of the learning process. But I tell you, dear readers...this is HARD. I mean, I'm certain not everyone finds it all that difficult to learn how to drive a stick shift, but this is hard *emotionally*. It is a humbling, humbling experience to take something for granted, something that you've been able to do for decades, and suddenly be thrust back into Beginner Land, complete with honking horns, angry faces, and overall truculent nostril flares by others who do not realize what you are going through.

I haven't been able to sleep, and in the evenings, I cannot knit or otherwise relax the way that I used to. My mind is constantly racing with my fears that I will never master this skill, that I will continue to embarrass myself in public, that I made a huge mistake which I will regret every single day for the next 3 years, and that I'll never regain the independence I once enjoyed when I felt comfortable driving.

Monday morning I woke up emotionally fragile. I felt like a loser, a Manual Transmission School Drop Out.  I drove my in-laws' automatic to work, fearful that I wasn't ready yet for longer journeys. I felt shaky and apprehensive about everything I was going to face that day. I had moved office spaces on Friday, and so Monday morning before my 9 am class I opened the door to my new office for the very first time, feeling a surge of hope that the clean, refreshed space would lift my spirits.

There was a man standing in my window.

People, I could not make this stuff up. :0

*SPLAT!*

While I watched incredulously, he schlacked some goo from the metal tool he was holding onto the bricks on the outside of the library. This was actually happening. I had a brick mason over my shoulder, in my window, for the entire day. While I lesson planned. Ate lunch. Graded student work. My buddy was there. A guardian angel of sorts? Likely not, the entire thing felt incredibly awkward. An omen of things to come?

😨

Even worse, I knew that I had to get back on the horse. The paperwork is signed, the deal is done. I'm stuck with the car. I love her, she's adorable and precious, she just scares the s*%! out of me right now.

I left for the day braced for my evening practice session.

I did not want to get back in that car. But I knew that I had to. The fear was only going to fester the longer I let it go.

After dinner, Mike and I headed out. I was still stalling the car, but somewhat less often. Unfortunately, this meant that I was overcompensating on the gas pedal and jerking the car forward with a squeal quite a bit. But not stalling boosted my confidence, and I needed that VERY badly. We made it out onto slightly busier roads than the side streets we had stuck to before, and I managed all right. I kept it together and didn't stall. Mike said that I was ready to drive myself to my fitness class later that evening.

I want my Mommy.

I didn't want to, but I knew that I had to. Fit and I headed out to the dance studio.

I stalled backing out onto the street. But I got her restarted like a champ, and bumped my way along. The rest of the way there, I did some jerking and squealing, but I did not stall. I made it to the studio alive, and I call that a huge win given the circumstances. The way home was even better. I was freaking out because the house I parked in front of had people outside, and I knew that if I stalled or squealed my tires they would see me. But I didn't. I got it going well and even eased into a left turn in 2nd gear with no problems. No stalls at all on that trip. Things were still fragile, but they were improving.

Yesterday, I had my best trip yet (relatively speaking :0). We went out on busier roads, and I didn't stall AT ALL. Well, unless you count that crazy situation with the Bobcat digger thing pulling unexpectedly out into traffic, which I do NOT. 😎And my jerking starts are getting decidedly less bad. Suddenly, I can feel a difference on the pedals. I've realized a few things about how to let up on the clutch and depress the gas pedal, and it's showing. It's still not anywhere near 100% smooth starts, but I've clearly improved. For the first time, I feel hope that I actually will learn how to drive this car.

I'm still not driving it to work yet. Yes, I know that I need to just do this and that's how my learning process will reach it's zenith, but I'm being kind to myself. I'm getting there, I really am. I want to nurture my confidence for a few more days. We're going to do a practice run tonight.

I know that I may experience a setback at some point. After steadily improving, you may stall again at a very inopportune time. It happens. But my motivation and determination are high. I want to learn this. I can do this.

Jesus, please take the wheel. :0

This has all reminded me of something very important. When I was in library school, I had an instructor for my Reference and User Services course who was very serious about professional librarianship. She did not like shortcuts and lazy librarians. I remember very clearly her saying to us once:

"Always bear in mind that not all answers can be found THE EASY WAY."

*stern look*

Sometimes, challenges are good for us. Granted, learning to drive a stick shift is hardly some important act of public service, or a larger spiritual goal. But allowing ourselves to be lifelong learners, and not always making the comfortable choice, makes us better people beneath the surface. This can then lead us to step forward in situations that DO have a larger spiritual or charitable component.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday morning, in which Fr. Roderick mentioned that:

"Fear stifles exploration. And exploration is a GOOD."

It is, it really is! I certainly have moments when I wish I had just gotten a different car, so that I could have just gotten an automatic transmission, and I wouldn't be going through this stress right now. But this has been good for me. It has made me realize that I'm not too old to try new things, to have confidence that I can master an unfamiliar skill. I still have a long way to go, but I have faith that it's going to work out just fine.

All right. Let me hear from you. Who thinks I have lost my mind?! :0 More importantly, who here drives a stick shift?! I need some words of commiseration!

When good weeks turn bad...

I'd been having a really good week. And then...well, you know how it is. :0

Monday: I am all aglow from outstanding weekend of dance workshops and performances. My friends came to see me dance, and I feel super confident, happy and floaty. I come to class Monday, and the students who couldn't read the words "My Groups" last week are suddenly rock stars, formulating dreamy research questions and finding solid peer reviewed articles on their topics. I end the day dreaming of choreographing a solo with a vintage Golden Era theme for the winter hafla, and feeling like Super Librarian.

*attaches cape*

Tuesday: I wake up stuffy.

*ominous music cues up in the background*

Classes still go good, and additional classes who struggled last week really shined this week. But I feel worse and worse physically as the day wears on. As well, I had dropped my car off at the mechanic. It was making "a noise" and I was thinking that something was going on with the front brakes. I wasn't exactly looking forward to the bill, but it needed to be done. Well.

😒

It's something else. Something about an arm in the wheel well? Actually, that sounds even WORSE than I intend it to, but needless to say that it's a much more involved fix than the brakes, in both time and expense. The mechanic doesn't even know for sure that he can find the part, because my car is so old.

Don't laugh at her. She's a good old car. :0

So I need to hope that (a) the mechanic finds the part so that he can charge me $1500 to fix this involved and complicated thing, or (b) that he can't find the part and I have to get a new car. Which sounds good, but we really can't afford that right now. So (a) is somehow the better option?

😭

I get home and feel uber cranky. My cold and voice worsen as the night wears on and I go to bed at 8 pm. And did I mention that it's been like 90 freaking degrees here for nearly the past week, and we can't sleep because it's so sticky and uncomfortable? Good Grief.

#IT'SSEPTEMBER! #whattheheck?!

Mike then coughs the entire night and I glare over at his side of the bed, although it is clearly not his fault.


Wednesday: I wake up exhausted after tossing and turning the entire night. I am even stuffier and beginning to cough. There is still no word from the mechanic on the part he's trying to find.

#Grand

I can barely talk during my classes. Oh, and now I'm developing a fever rash.

THIS, my friends, is a good week gone bad. :0 It could be worse, it is true. I'm actually feeling positive overall, just wishing that the suck factor would ease a hair. I'm praying the St. Therese novena, so things can't be all bad, right? ;-)

How is your week going, gentle reader? I hope that it's going better than mine!

So I did a thing :0

Let's just say it's been a long week. A super, duper long week. Insert visual image here of me teaching my students how to upload their newly minted collages into their ePortolio headers. Then picture 40 of them individually calling me over to explain it to them one-on-one because they neglected to pay attention while I was doing so.

!!!

Trying. Very trying. But I got some excellent feedback from my post last week about finding a place we could all hang out, chat, and support each other besides just the blog comment area. A little bit more real-time, if you will. ;-)

So I created a Facebook group! I'm not thinking this is going to be a hotbed of activity, to be sure. But if you'd like to join, have at it! We'll have weekly Gratitude posts to uplift our spirits, and you can feel free to post prayer requests in there too. It will be a lovely, supportive place for us to seek each other out when we need a friendship boost!

You can search in Facebook for CatholicLibrarianHangout, or use this link, and request to join. I have it set so that you can add people to the group, too.

We'll try this out and see how we like it! I'd love to have you in there! *heart*

***edited to add: I just had a thought!

Eureka!

When we have book clubs, we can do FB Live chats to discuss the book!

*virtual high five!*

Tea Time #112 - Spiritual journeys amidst the hectic everyday...

It's a cathartic edition this week of:

Today I talk more about my spiritual crisis relating to my job, how I am managing it, and why the podcast may not be weekly anymore. :-\ But hope springs eternal, and I have ideas for other ways we can connect during the week and offer each other prayer support. Join me!





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Feelin' Good" from http://www.purple-planet.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

My heart-to-heart post from earlier this week

On My Bookshelf - Super Girls and Halos: My Companions on the Quest for Truth, Justice and Heroic Virtue, by Maria Johnson


Prayer Corner - The rosary. I am currently obsessed with my St. Teresa of Calcutta rosary. :) Allison's rosary shop, if you'd like to message her to request a custom St. Teresa rosary!

Creative Commons - I finished the Rhinebeck sweater! 

Not the greatest photos, but I'll have Mike get a good one of me wearing it after it's blocked! For the time being, the front:

the back:

 and cable detailing on the back:

OK, let me hear from you! What are your thoughts with dealing with spiritual crises, and not overdoing things? Do you have ideas for an online chat place we can all hang out and ask for prayers?

In which I finally admit to myself that I cannot do everything...

Hello all, and welcome to a brand new week! I wish I could report in for duty that I am having this glorious week in which I feel validated as a teaching librarian, that my job is so rewarding, and that I have been pert and chipper all week long. Well... :0

I'm going to just say it: I had a terrible weekend. Why, you reasonably ask? Because I allowed work to creep into my home life.

I knew that with this being the fall semester, the very first college semester for all of our students, plus the Labor Day holiday in which we wouldn't see some of them for week 2 of our content, this meant that we would receive a lot of emails with questions. I decided to check my email on Saturday afternoon to just clear the recent messages, to save myself some time when we all came back from the long weekend on Tuesday morning.

Dozens. Dozens of emails to field. Also, emails from my boss with instructions on how to fix various unforeseen technical calamities with our course management system. On Labor Day, I spent 2 hours  on my laptop manually changing due dates in assignments for all 11 of my sections, and answering yet more student emails.

It was...discouraging, to say the least. That type of work isn't meaningful in any way, and with the volume of classes and students that we have, the last minute, frantic nature of these types of problems just makes us all feel harried and frustrated.

Yesterday morning, I was downright dreading going into work. I haven't felt that way since last fall (which was an epic nightmare with our course being brand new in a revamped curriculum), and before THAT I hadn't felt that way since I was a practicing attorney writing a brief at the office at 1 am. It's not a good feeling. I'm a LIBRARIAN, my job shouldn't be this stressful. That's why I made the major career change that I did 12ish years ago.

I got in the car Tuesday morning and had a heart-to-heart with myself. Yes, I talk to myself sometimes, I see it as part of my charm. :0 And I realized something very crucial: I'm trying to do too much. I am simply trying to do TOO MUCH. Indeed, I work full time outside of the home. I'm a wife and mother. And I have all sorts of interests and hobbies that I enjoy. Some of those items need attending to on a daily basis, and others do not. I cannot do everything. I simply, for the good of my own health and well-being, need to prioritize better.

Obviously, my family comes first. Yes, I do need to go to my job, and to do my best effort with it. But I do not need to let it take over the rest of my life. If email and course management disasters build up over a weekend, so be it. I can deal with all of them, as expediently as I can, during the week. We are not paid to work on the weekend. So why am I taking on that burden?

I have felt for some time that God has been trying to tell me that I'm trying to do too much. I put pressure on myself to meet these daily expectations that I set for myself, but see the keyword in that sentence? *I* am doing this to myself. Nobody else is. I can feel less harried if only I allow myself to. So I'm going to try.

Before I left the driveway, I set up my phone in its holder and set my Divine Office app to play the audio for Morning Prayer. And do you know what happened? It wouldn't play.

😱

It really seemed to fit the theme of my life at that moment. :0 Because you know what? IT'S OK. I picked up my St. Teresa of Calcutta rosary and prayed that on my way in. And I felt WORLDS better by time I arrived.

There has been more chaos and gnashing of teeth throughout the land here at my university. But it's OK. Classes have been good! I've done well teaching, and I've been patient and charitable with the students. That's all that matters. Sometimes, my volume of email during the day, and my family time in the evenings, may mean that I can't get Tea Time out that week, or that I won't write a post when I usually do. But you and I have known each other long enough now that I have confidence you realize that I am always coming back to you - if a week goes by, send me a Tweet just to check on me. ;-) But I will *always* be back. This is my happy place, and I'm so grateful to share it with all of you.

How do you fare during busy seasons like this? How is your own September prayer challenge going? I would love to hear from you. *heart*

Tea Time with Tiffany #111 - "what day is it?!" Beginning of semester exhaustion...

TGIF everyone, and BOY do I really mean it this week :0 for a new installment of:

Today we talk about the back to teaching grind, how the 30 day prayer challenge is going, lots of creativity flowing, and bunches more. Join me! (I even look exhausted in this screenshot, don't I? :0)





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Feelin' Good" from http://www.purple-planet.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

Weekend dance post

On My Bookshelf - Murder Wears Mittens (Seaside Knitters Society), by Sally Goldenbaum.

Prayer Corner - I've been working on praying at least 1 office of the Liturgy of the Hours each day with my Divine Office app.

Creative Commons - I'm on the 2nd sleeve of my Rhinebeck sweater! But also, a Beachcomber Shawl in a fall-inspired colorway.  This is the yarn base I'm using, though the colorways I chose are no longer available. It's *divine*, and the dyer is incredibly talented!

How is your prayer life these days? What is your back-to-school season like? I'd love to hear from you!

Tea Time with Tiffany #110 - STRESS

How's that for a relaxing title this month? ;-)

Today I talk about the semester starting, and how I'm finding it just a wee bit stressful. Prayer strategies, more dance gigs, fun books coming out this fall, and more!





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Feelin' Good" from http://www.purple-planet.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

On My Bookshelf - Same author as my Amish Quilt Shop Mysteries (just under a pseudonym), is a new series, Assaulted Caramel (An Amish Candy Shop Mystery).

Prayer Corner - I'm starting a 30 day Evening and Night Prayer challenge beginning Monday, 8/28. Would you like to join in?

Creative Commons - I started the sleeves on my Rhinebeck sweater! It's a miracle!

Are you going to pray along for the prayer challenge? Have any new book recommendations? Planning for Advent already the way that I am? ;-) Do write in!

On headaches and 30 day prayer challenges...

Soooooooo, I had a totally different post planned for today about discernment. And then...today happened. It was not a good day, work-wise. The semester starts Monday, and as is our new normal, we're all running around putting out fires that NEVER start back in June. They only start 2 days before classes begin. Every.Single.Time.

I felt frustrated. I felt stressed out and harried. I felt like I was forgetting things from moment-to-moment, as is always the case when I'm trying to do too many things at the same time. I developed a headache.

As I popped an ibuprofen, I thought of the text string I had with Sam last night. As we were talking about the stress of the new semester approaching (Sam is starting a brand new job as a teacher in a combined 1st/2nd grade classroom!) I said that I was really feeling deep in my soul how important prayer was going to be for me this semester. So that I wouldn't sink back down to the abyss of anxiety and depression and happened last fall (we will heretofore refer to the fall of 2016 as "That Semester" and shudder whenever we hear it's name). I had an official "Fall 2016 Managing Stress Series" last year for a reason. It's painful to reflect back on.

At any rate, back to prayer. Sam, my sister, and myself are in the midst of a 30 day yoga challenge for stress relief and relaxation.Which may not seem to have anything to do with prayer, but stay with me! :0 I mentioned to Sam how I longed to get back into a routine with praying the Liturgy of the Hours, but it's just SO difficult to stay consistent with it (footnote: the Liturgy of the Hours is the official prayer of the Church; it is made up of hymns, psalms, and other short prayers relating to the liturgical season and/or feast day). She and I both then commiserated on just how many times we've failed miserably at keeping up with Morning and Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours. Then I had a eureka moment:

"We should do a 30 day challenge for *that*!"

Right?! For 30 days, we'll endeavor to keep up with this form of prayer. Now, Sam and I both agreed that Morning Prayer? It's just not happening. We're realistic, you see. We're up by 6 (Sam even earlier than that), I have kids out the door by 7:20, Sam has a 40 minute commute, we both have classes first thing...Morning Prayer just isn't going to fit in there. Doesn't mean we can't pray a morning offering, but official Morning Prayer would only make us cry. So what we thought we would try is for 30 days, praying Evening and Night prayer. Something to look forward to after our long days, and both are designed to be SO soothing for weary souls. Would you like to join us?

If you own Christian Prayer, or the 4 volume set of the Liturgy of the Hours, you're all set.  If you'd like to use an online tool, there is the iBreviary app, which is available for both Android and ios, or you can use Universalis. I have the Divine Office app, but I know that isn't for sale currently while they work out a copyright situation. It doesn't matter what you use, as long as it allows you to pray!

We're going to start Monday, 8/28. I can have accountability posts in here from time-to-time, so we can check in with each other and see how it's going. It made me feel SO much better to think of this today in midst of my Nightmare Day From The Pits Of The Evil One.

If you'd like to join us, or just have thoughts generally on helpful forms of prayer for stressful times, please comment below!

*heart*

Tea Time with Tiffany #109 - How to *not* feel overwhelmed...

It's an organization-focused episode this week of:

Had a little bit of a technical mishap today, and the audio didn't record on my video. 😡 So no video this week, but I do have the separate audio for the podcast feed, so that's all we have this week, sorry about that! I put lipstick on and everything. :0

This week we talk about strategies for evading that sense of being overwhelmed as we segue into Back-to-School season full force!



**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Feelin' Good" from http://www.purple-planet.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

• Blessed is She Liturgical Calendar Planner
• Catholic Mom piece on St. Maximilian Kolbe

On My Bookshelf:  

• The King's Prey: Saint Dymphna of Ireland (God's Forgotten Friends: Lives of Little Known Saints), by Susan Peek
• Sheepish: Two Friends, Fifty Sheep, and Enough Wool to to Save the Planet, by Catherine Friend.

Prayer Corner: St. Monica novena starts Friday 8/18, sponsored by Pray More Novenas. You can now also sign up for Facebook Messenger notifications by following the directions in this post!

Creative Commons: The Rhinebeck Sweater continues to grow. :0 I'll have a photo as soon as I join the back and can try it on!

What's going on with you this weekend, dear listener? What are your ideas for feeling less overwhelmed?

Tea Time with Tiffany #91 - Frantic week, & Holy Week preparation...

It's our vigil of Holy Week edition of:

Today I talk about the crazy week that I have been navigating, teaching drama, SQPN meet-ups, upcoming dance performances, prayer, and my plans for Holy Week!





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Tea Ceremony" from PlayonLoop.com

 Items mentioned in this episode:

• Crazy Tuesday post
• Expression Fiber Arts spring KAL
• Live Today Well, chapter 11 on prayer

How was your week, dear ones? What are you plans for Holy Week? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

"What day is it?!" Adventures in frenzied librarianship...

Wow. Where to start...You'll notice that today is usually Book Club Day. And well...I forgot the book. 😱 When you hear about my past 2 days you'll understand why.

Let's start with Monday. Grab your coffee!

Monday morning heralds a string of text messages from my colleagues. Our students have an automated quiz to complete this week, and there's been a problem with the course management system not granting them partial credit like we had intended. They are receiving either a 100, or a 0, and as you can imagine, this is generating some angst. I start class at 9 am on Mondays, so I rushy rushy at home to get into work and fix this before my first class begins. When I open my email I already have a half dozen questions about this problem, and I'd rather not accumulate more to have to deal with. The issue when we encounter a problem like this is that we're all teaching 10 sections of this same lab. When we have to change something in class #1, we have to change it in all 10. That's a lot of mundane mouse clicking for a Monday morning, but I manage. It makes me run a few minutes late, but I finish, and rush off to class in the other library building.

Immediately upon my arrival, my colleague that I teach with in that time slot informs me of yet another problem: there's a troublesome question in the quiz. She thinks we should remove it. I look at it and agree with her.

*long suffering sighs are heard throughout the land*

We have 3 classes in a row for this Monday stretch. Between each of them, she and I are on laptops, our fingers moving at lightening speed to eliminate that quiz question, and re-set up the partial credit option. For all 10 sections, it takes a LOT longer than we wanted it to.

Class 1 comes and goes with just some questions about about quiz problem #1. While the students are working on something, I send out emails to the other sections, alerting them that the problem has been fixed. Class 2 begins, and I immediately pick up on a vibe: there is tension and dissension amongst a table towards the back of the room.  They had a group project due last week, and there is apparently strife with regards to what was turned in and who did what. As the other students are working on something else, I hear shouting coming from that table. I.KID.YOU.NOT. They were in my colleague's section, and she had to EXTRACT them from the room to deal with the problem out in the hallway. We never signed up to be K-12 teachers, y'all. Good grief!

By Class 3, we were both emotionally drained and just hanging on to make it through the morning. This group was confused when we mentioned that they (assumedly) had to write a paper for their English class, and we were here to help with that. A paper in an English Composition class? This was shocking news, apparently. :0

After that, I headed to my regular fitness class, though every muscle in my body ached to just go back to my office and build a hermitage to live in for the remainder of the week. After that, I stuffed my lunch in my mouth while answering emails and dealing with assorted other work issues. I left at 5 pm totally exhausted.

Yesterday, I had the day off from work, but it was jam packed with social outings. If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I am an introvert, and that socializing, while I very much enjoy it, isn't exactly on my list of activities that induces *relaxation.* 😅 I visited with an out-of-town friend, and we walked to Canada (long story :0). We had lunch and did lots of lovely visiting. After a rushy trip home to shower, clean up the house and tend to the children, I had a date to go out to dinner and to see Swan Lake with my mother-in-law.

*collapses*

Again, lovely, but by the time I dragged myself home at 10 pm, you could have blown me over with a wisp of wind. Today, I'm back to my regular class schedule and feeling like a nap may overtake me at any moment. And of course, I forgot our book club book. :0 And I have to prepare for a dance performance this weekend. And a small gathering we're hosting for some friends to watch the Masters golf tournament. Hermitage, anyone?

Sooooooo, tomorrow we'll have book club! And Friday we'll have Tea Time!

How was the beginning of your week? Was it as frenzied as mine?