A journey East as I explore the Byzantine rite this upcoming liturgical year...

         Morning Prayer with your multi-rite-loving Catholic Librarian            

All! 😀 It's been a little while, hasn't it?! I have indeed missed you, but I have to say that the break from blogging served me well. Being back to teaching in person again at my job, as well as performing in person again in my dance side gig, combined with the busy ages that my kids are at right now (so much chauffering after school, SO MUCH) meant that I not only had less time, but less mental bandwidth with which to focus on this blog. I was also unsure of the place of blogs in our modern social media culture, and thought that the time was right to pause, discern and re-evaluate. I was content to just leave it be until (or even if) I ever felt strongly compelled to pick it back up again. All things have their season, and this past Lent I felt that maybe my blogging season had come to it's natural end. 

But then something interesting happened. This spring, my kids and I decided to check out an Eastern rite Divine Liturgy as something different to explore in our family faith life. I was hoping to spark some semblance of interest within my utterly lukewarm preteen and teenaged children for their faith ("MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM, why do we have to go to church AGAIN?! Didn't we just go last week?!") For myself, a tried and true Cradle Catholic Nerd, I just wanted to experience a liturgy that I had never witnessed before. My good friend Allison and her family had recently become members of the Byzantine rite, so I figured we'd look there. Lo and behold, our area held two local Ukranian Catholic Churches that are part of the Byzantine rite, one of which was five minutes from our home.

(☝ this is an important point. We're attending an Eastern Catholic church, not an Eastern Orthodox one. I very much love and admire our Orthodox kin, but I'm staying Catholic, I promise!)

And, well. It's a long story, but God is moving in my heart, and both me (AND THE CHILDREN 🙌) are falling completely head over heals in love with the Byzantine rite and the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostym. I cannot even fully articulate how much it has captivated me and brightened my entire journey of faith. It's like I feel an actual burning in my heart as I discover and learn more about it. I'm not entirely sure if this is something that will come and go in my spiritual life, or if I'm being led more permanently towards the Eastern lung of our faith, but refreshingly, I'm not worried about it one way or another. I figure, God will fill me in, right? Regardless of which one it is, something good is happening in our family's faith life. Having my kids curious and interested in attending church, and talking to me in the car about the Eastern traditions and liturgy we are experiencing, rather than grumpily getting pulled along with me, has been such a blessing to me.

Thus, while I was at liturgy a few weeks ago, the thought came to me:

"Maybe I would enjoy journaling this experience on my blog."

Whoa. I hadn't even really thought about this blog in five months, aside from the ongoing prayer threads over in our private Facebook group. In the Eastern tradition, the new liturgical year doesn't start with Advent, like it does in our Latin rite. It starts on September 1st. And it's... mid-August. That just seems like providentially good timing, does it not?

And so for the next liturgical year, I will be blogging weekly (or at least, trying my best to do so weekly!) with my journey as a Roman Catholic falling in love with the Byzantine rite. I don't know where this is headed, but I can never resist a good Year Doing The Thing story. For a full liturgical year, I will be exploring the Byzantine rite, and we'll see where it takes me. And my precious children, whose souls have been entrusted to me by the Father. As their only practicing Catholic parent (my adorable husband Mike is very, very supportive of all of this, but as you all know, he's not personally religious) it's been an uphill battle getting the children interested in their faith, especially beyond the glory years of saint stories and rosaries before bed. Anne is 11 now, and Henry is 16. They are evolving, slowly but surely, into young adults, and my job as their mother doing her best to raise them Catholic must evolve too. Importantly, I have realized that I must pay attention. Both to God's leading, and to their signals. With both of them so enthused about attending Divine Liturgy, I knew that this was a sign.

What I'd like to do each week is reflect upon our experience at Divine Liturgy that previous Sunday, and work our way through the entire Byzantine liturgical calendar, September to September. I'll sprinkle in what we're learning about Eastern traditions as I go. Before we get to that, next week I'll post a bit more about our initial experiences with attending Divine Liturgy for the very first time as Roman Catholics (like fish out of water, I tell you, making all manner of Western gestures 😂) and our falling in love with the traditions we have encountered so far. That isn't all that much, since we've only been attending Divine Liturgy weekly since the pastor at our home parish retired over Memorial Day weekend. There is SO MUCH GOOD STUFF TO COME. Our first Christmas (see, I'm already doing this wrong, they call it the Nativity of Our Lord in the Eastern tradition, I think!), experiencing all of the 12 Great Feasts, our first Great Lent and Pascha! 

😍😍😍

All. I literally cannot wait! We're settling into our new Byzantine rite church with weekly liturgy and enthusiastic invitations to the monthly parish coffee hour, and we're learning and feeling more at home each week. I am so excited to share it all with you. 🤗

Importantly, one of the reasons I'm coming back to blogging (at least for the next year) is that I'm not putting pressure on myself. This is a self-journey of exploration, and though I'm so grateful to share this with whoever wishes to accompany me along the way, I'm really doing it for myself, and for my kids. I almost certainly won't post on a consistent day of the week from week-to-week, and there may even be weeks where I can't post at all for unforeseeable reasons. But all I can say is that I feel excited and motivated to write again, and that this budding flame in my heart is giving my spirit life right now. I don't know how many people regularly read blogs anymore, but I figure it really doesn't matter. Everything happens for a reason. In the end, I'll have a chronicle of this part of my love affair with my faith to reflect back on, and for my children to reflect back on, perhaps at a future point in their lives during which they really need a life buoy back home to Christ and His Church. 

I'll see you all next week. We'll talk a bit about our experiences being new to the Divine Liturgy ("does that thing he's swingin' around have incense in it?!"), about lighting real beeswax candles (*whispers* "where do I put it? is that what the sand is for?!") and about crossing ourselves ("MOM. You missed 3 Signs of the Cross, keep up!!"). See you then!

Discerning the future of the blog...

"pink rose" by Barbara is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0

Sooo, apparently for Lent I have given up posting on my blog. 😂 For quite some time now, I've been discerning how to move forward with my blog and/or whether to continue. Our landscape has changed so much technologically over the years, and people really aren't perusing the blogosphere the way they used to. I wonder to myself how relevant blogs are in our current world? In addition to that, between my job, my family, and my dancing projects, I haven't really had a lot of time to write. So that's what has been going on behind the scenes, if you will.

At the same time, I am still just as in love with my Catholic faith as ever, and I still feel that God is calling me to share it creatively in some fashion. I'm just figuring out exactly how. I've come to a place in my life wherein I know that I don't need to rush or push this, God will show me the path when He is ready for me to see it. So, I'm sure that something interesting is coming down the pike (have I told you about the new fascination I have with the Byzantine rite? No, I haven't, because I haven't had time to write a blog post, LOL! But there's some great fodder there!) and when I figure out what exactly God wants me to do, I will share it. In the meantime, I hope that everyone is having a beautiful and fruitful Lent!

This week, the mid-point of Lent, I'm challening myself to pray a Morning Offering each day. Do you have a favorite Morning Offering? Feel free to leave a link in the comments!

 

Quiet Advent joy, and some blog re-freshening for the New Year...

 

Happy 3rd Week of Advent everyone! (I know my photo is outdated, but I forgot to take one this week. :-0)  How is your Advent going?! Mine is going quietly well. We're busily Christmas shopping and prepping our holiday menu over here. Work is nice and quiet, both kids are doing great, and we're all looking forward to spending time with friends and family this year. The O Antiphons start today, and I'm so excited to bust out my breviary later to have some prayer time! I haven't kept up with morning and evening prayer as much as I would have liked, but I have prayed them on Sundays, plus I have kept up with the daily devotional I chose for this year. 

Over my holiday staycation, I'm also planning some lovely crafting time, lots of couch time with Barney curled up watching holiday baking shows while sipping coffee, and preparing for some upcoming dance shows! I'm very, very excited about all of this. :) Speaking of Barney, he is the focus of my December piece for Catholic Mom. ;-)

I've also been doing a bit of planning with regards to this blog. I've been finding myself forgetting about it some weeks, in the fray of teaching and parenthood, and contemplated whether that meant that the time had come for me to cease blogging. But I ultimately decided that although daily (or currently, weekly) posts are not necessarily in the cards for me at this point in time, I want this blog to continue on. 

I think what I'd like to do is plan some series in the new year, which is the type of thing that excites and inspires my creativity the most. It also keeps me accountable to not only posting with regularity, but to the spiritual goals we are trying to achieve together, a win/win! So I'm thinking: 

• New Year's Resolutions and Winter Ordinary Time.
• Lent. Book club perhaps?
• Summer with the Saints.
• Liturgy of the Hours. That could work for Lent, or perhaps Summer Ordinary Time. 😀

And in addition to that, I'll post when I feel inspired to share something, which is how I think blogging works best for both author and reader. Would you agree?

What are you looking for in a blog in this post-blogosphere universe? I still think blogs have their place for avid readers, but the landscape has definitely changed. Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Thoughts on moving forward...

So after the drama I caused last week ;-) I've been doing a lot of thinking and discerning about continuing to blog. I received some lovely feedback both in the comments on that post, and over in the Facebook group. To sum it up, people do still read my blog :-0 and enjoy it, though they understand that it takes time and effort, and sometimes you just don't have those things to give anymore. I was also pleasantly surprised to find that you all still enjoy the eclectic mix of topics that I write about, and I don't need to worry about that the way that I was.

My thoughts after weighing all of this is that the effort really isn't a problem - I still enjoy blogging. And time? Oftentimes, it is not an issue, but occasionally it is. The topic thing, well, this has always been a "life blog" wherein I write about whatever is on my heart that particular week, so we have family stuff, job issues, faith things, random funny happenings, and musings related to my hobbies (dance, fitness, crafting, reading). I still like writing about all of these things, and it seems you still enjoy reading about them and what each new week may bring.

So, in essence, I've decided to keep blogging.

It feels good to have made a decision about that, because it's been weighing on me for awhile. But with all things, I think it's good to refresh and recharge sometimes, and this is one of those times.

So this is the plan. At some point in the next year, I'll likely give the blog a fresh new look in terms of template and color scheme. I don't do that very often, and I'll wait to feel inspired. But I can tell that it's coming. In terms of timing of posts, I have been posting once per week, and I anticipate that continuing. There may be weeks where it doesn't happen due to my schedule or something unexpected coming up, and if that happens, I'm giving myself permission not to fret about it. I will post when I can, and I'm always very regular about that, so there's no need to pressure myself. It's more important to be able to sit down and enjoy the post, and write about what is making me inspired that week. I feel like that will give me a new sense of life with the blog.

I go in phases with themes in terms of what I write about, often related to the season, and I anticpate that also continuing to be the case. Right now, with it being wintry, I'm writing a lot about crafts. In fact, the piece I wrote for Catholic Mom this month about crocheting blankets in January has been my most commented on post over there! With Lent approaching, I'm sure spiritual reading, devotionals and liturgical good times are coming our way very soon.

What I'm feeling overall though, is that I'd like this blog to have a distinct wellness focus. Fitness is definitely something I've gotten more into this year, and I know I'll be writing about that coming up. But wellness encompasses emotional and spiritual well-being too, so I think it's a perfect fit for my little enterprise over here at Life of a Catholic Librarian. :)

Sooooo...that's pretty much it! Nothing is really changing, except I feel all rejuvenated, ha ha! I'm looking forward to giving the blog a slightly new look and exploring a fresh way of presenting my content. It's all good! So, you're stuck with me! :-0

I'm feeling a physical wellness post coming on (new fitness classes, accidental giant water bottles, and chalky protein shakes, can't wait!) so you can excitedly anticipate that late next week. ;-)

*beams*

What's on tap for you this weekend?

Is it time for a change?

So, I've been going through some stuff. Nothing serious, but I've been under some stress since this past fall. Mostly, it's related to my kids, and the anxiety I've been experiencing from the changes in their lives as they both get older. Having my son start high school has been the greatest crisis in my life as a parent since dealing with epic sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, and temper tantrums from the infant and toddler years. I'm prone to anxiety by nature, and this ramped it up to a degree that for the first time, I've sought out a licensed therapist to help me to cope with it all better. That's a good thing, and it's helping, and I'm grateful for that. Overall though, I've noticed something about myself: my sense of self is much more defined than it's ever been, and my perspectives have shifted a bit. That comes from age and experience, I suppose. But I'm much more aware now of the things and people in my life that I treasure, and simultaneously I'm also much more aware of my own mortality. My birthday is coming up next moth, and well, YOU KNOW. I'm pretty sure this is the very definition of a midlife crisis. :-0

I have this increased sense of carpe diem, like now is the time to really savor my relationships and experiences, and really challenge myself within the hobbies and avocations that I enjoy. That's all good stuff, what I worry about is this deeper sense within me of: "But what is it all for? What is the ultimate purpose of pursuing this?"

Now granted, some of those are easy. Spirituality-wise, I know what the goal is, and am always working on that. Check. Relationships are the same. We want loving, happy, healthy relationships for obvious reasons. But other stuff is tougher. Dancing is my greatest creative endeavor, and I'm definitely going through a Midlife Dance Crisis. ;-) What do I want from dance, ultimately? Am I achieving that? Honestly, I don't know.

The other thing is this blog. I've been writing here, and sharing with you, for a long time, over 10 years now. And...why am I doing it? I was struck recently that blogging isn't exactly the "in thing" anymore. I've always written because I enjoy it (same goes for dancing, truly), and that's reason enough, to be sure. But midlife crises involve DEEP PURPOSES, know what I'm sayin'? Some weeks it's a challenge to come up with an idea for a post. And our community is small (but mighty!) so I do wonder to myself if it's time to try something new. Is blogging really the best way to achieve my goal to write for enjoyment anymore?

Another reason that I started this blog was to share my faith. I still enjoy doing that quite a bit. I write for Catholic Mom on a monthly basis, and I have to admit that I love writing those pieces because it's only every 30 days. Each one feels like a fresh new opportunity to share something interesting about my faith life because it's been a whole month since I last penned one. I write multiple Gospel Reflections for them each year too, and adore working on those, because they really challenge me to dig into the scriptures and discern how they apply in my own life. I also love the Facebook group related to this blog that I manage. Our weekly prayer threads, posts on interesting Catholic gifts or stories, the novenas, LOVE that stuff. Because it's low key and spontaneous, and also because there's a fuller sense of community there. I also truly enjoyed writing my book in the scripture study series put together by my friend Allison, because I had the opportunity to collaborate with a duet of lovely women and really extend myself creatively in the process. So I share my faith in these other ways, and wish to continue doing so.

So what does this all mean in terms of this blog? I don't know, lol! I would love to hear from YOU. Do you still find it meaningful to follow this blog and read my posts on a regular basis? I write about an eclectic mix of topics: religious faith; crafts; family; fitness; belly dancing; books and podcasts; random weird stuff that happens to me. I mean...:-0 What do you think?!

I don't really have any notion of alternatives. Perhaps a change of style, in which this were a website with a blog feature that I update when inspired? A website that is curated with ways to easily navigate into posts on the varied topics that I tend to write about?

I'm all ears. But I do feel like this blog needs some TLC. I think I've been going through the motions with it for quite some time because I'm very commitment oriented, and I'm also quite averse to change. This blog has always treated me well, and I'd hate to give it up. It's definitely one of my babies, and I love the people I've met through it (you!). But it doesn't feel right to keep doing something the exact same way just because that's the way you've always done it, especially when the platform doesn't feel as inspired as it used to.

All thoughts quite welcome in the comments! :-)

Do you keep a journal?

Current (and successful) Easter journal

I've been thinking a lot lately about journaling. Throughout my life, even as a child, I have tried to keep a journal in an off-and-on sort of manner. As a bookworm who always saw herself as a budding writer, this seemed like it should be a natural fit for me. Except that it wasn't. I'd dive into a new journal with a lot of gusto: I'd spend hours selecting just the right notebook for this endeavor, days thinking up a system for what and how frequently I'd write, and even devote time to picking the perfect writing instrument. Then I'd go to town for a solid week. Then I'd move to every other day, then a few times per week...until I realized that it had been 10 days and I hadn't written anything at all. I'd go through an inevitable period of coercing myself to write every so often before finally giving up the ghost and admitting that I didn't want to anymore. I'm a person who likes to live in denial. ;-)

And I still cannot fully pinpoint why this happens, and why journaling does not appeal to me in a long term format. I'm currently keeping a journal for Easter season via Blessed is She, and I do really like it. But this is an extremely short form and short term project that will end at Pentecost. When I have a date goal in mind, I can usually stay motivated. It's the "throughout my life" thing that usually throws me the curve ball.

But indeed, I *have* been enjoying the Easter journal, and I'd like to start investing in the Blessed is She Advent and Lent journals as well. Same deal. Short term goal, so I should be good. I wish I would keep up with this during Ordinary Time, but I know that I won't, so I'll stop torturing myself.

You know what I HAVE been doing for a long time, though? This blog. I started it back in (I THINK *blows dust off of brain cells*)  2008. So, that's almost 10 years. I'll have to go back and look, I know that I started it during the summertime too. So next summer can be a big milestone celebration here at Life of a Catholic Librarian. ;-)

And it's interesting, because I have always seen this blog as a journal of sorts. Granted, with a good deal of censoring and not exactly baring my soul the way I would in a journal that nobody read but me and God. :0 But I do share a lot with you, my friends. I certainly use a lot of discretion, but blogging is indeed a form of online journaling. And why do I like it so much more than keeping an old fashioned journal? Maybe *because* I have to be more creative and editorial in what I choose to write about since I am writing for others besides just myself. Indeed, I'm writing for others, for you. That brings a certain level of appeal to this writer. I don't want to write just for myself. I love fostering a sense of community and feeling like at least a few people out there enjoy reading what I have to write about, despite my less-than-perfect abilities.

I love blogging, I really do. So if you choose to stick around, you can be stuck with me for as long as you'd like. ;-) But how do YOU feel about journaling? Do you keep a journal? Do you feel that blogging is akin to journaling in some ways? I'd love to hear from you!