Some graduation related tears...

Hello friends, and welcome back! I'm a little bit emotional this week, and I just need to chat about life in general, so let's settle in for a cup of coffee!

This past Tuesday was Henry's 8th grade graduation from the K-8 Catholic school he's been at since 1st grade (that's quite a trip down memory lane, that link I just posted. I'm going to try not to cry again 😭). I took it HARD. This was surprising even to me: "Tiffany. It's 8th grade. It's not even a real graduation! Get a grip!" But there it is. I had a very difficult time with it.

I went to public school. The longest I was ever at any school was 6 years from kindergarten through 6th grade, and I don't have particularly fond memories from any of the three schools I attended before college. But my kids' school...it's different. It's a family. Everybody knows your name there. Everybody cares. Many of the people working there, as well as parents of other kids, are alumni of the school. The class sizes are small, and a warm and fuzzy sense pervades. A few pertinent anecdotes:

A beloved kindergarten teacher passed away two years ago, after teaching at this school for *37 years*. The Pre-k and kindergarten wing of the school is now named for her, because she was such a fixture there, teaching kindergarten to multiple generations of families. The school was emotionally gutted when she died.

Henry's 8th grade class held a tribute to the Pre-k 4 teacher, who came to the school the year that this particular class started Pre-k. Now those 4 year olds are leaving and going to high school. There wasn't a dry eye in the house for that one.

I never had a school experience like this. And Henry has been there for 8 years. He started there when I was pregnant with Anne, and I had prayed a novena for Mike to be won over to this school, to provide the impetus to move him from where he was to somewhere we'd have to pay tuition for him to attend. And he was. And it was one of the best decisions we ever made.

This school is a place of comfort and solace to me. It's warm and welcoming, and it's a community filled with faith. Anne will still be there for 6 more years, and the alumni certainly seem to keep up with the school, so I'm certain that it will always be in our lives. But my Henry, my first child, my guinea pig, the one I fretted over whenever we had to make a big change like this one due to his shyness and sweet nature, the one who spearheaded our foray into Catholic education...he won't be there anymore. My kids headed off to school, together, for the very last time. When I drive by the building every day on my way to work, and pray a Hail Mary for each of them, he won't be inside anymore. He's headed to a Catholic boys high school that he is SO EXCITED about, and I know that he will be in excellent hands there, but I keep coming back to something that repeatedly makes me cry:

It's the end of an era.

Anne owns a soft spot in my heart because she is my baby, but Henry owns an equally large soft spot because he is my first child, my beloved little boy who changed my life forever when he was born. Now he's heading off to something much larger and in some ways scarier, and certainly something that we have not experienced before with our kids: high school. He's becoming a young man, and while it's exciting to see, I'm also dreading all of these changes and all of the new worries that come along with them. I'm trying very hard, but I've been crying every single day. And my anxiety has been flaring up quite badly. But I keep trying.

Henry has some basketball goings on this summer at his new school, and he's also starting a work study program there to help fund his tuition. He'll ease in, to be sure, and they have an entire freshman welcome program designed to aid the kids in the transition. Most of the boys from his 8th grade class are also attending there, so he will see some familiar faces. And that's a good situation, because they're all really good kids. But it's going to be a BIG change.

I'm trying to hang in there over here, I promise. Mike hasn't started summer term teaching yet, so he's been home in the mornings after the kids go to school, and we've been talking a lot. About all of this and how we're struggling to handle it, each in our own way. It helps to have someone to talk to about it. My crafting has been a happy distraction, as has my dancing. I'll be posting about each of those in the coming weeks.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep slogging on and hope that these emotional reactions to every little thing abate. I suppose it's part of the parenting journey, but it sure is cramping my style. :-0

I hope the rest of you are having a good week. I appreciate all virtual hugs and prayers! I guess I'm a little needy right now. 🤗

Tea Time with Tiffany #62 - Out of control school supply lists, & being a scent fairy...

Hi all! I managed to catch my breath in time to record another happy edition of:

In between when I recorded this and when I am putting it out, I was assigned a 16th section of a library lab for English Composition to teach. Given that I immediately wanted to cry, I figured it was better to focus on post-production of Tea Time. ;-) Today I talk about the evolving monster that is modern school supply lists, the St. Monica novena, and my happiness at being the designated scent fairy of my library.





**To subscribe to the audio version of Tea Time with Tiffany, just search for it in iTunes or use this link to subscribe via Feedburner in your podcatcher of choice. Intro music is "Tea Ceremony" from PlayonLoop.com

Items mentioned in this episode:

• St. Monica novena
• Infamous bird feeder post. Read R-A-T.
• Original mention of Scentsy on Tea Time.
• Scentsy link and Facebook group

What's going on with YOU dear reader and listener? What back-to-school monstrosities are you dealing with? ;-) I would love to hear from you!

Adventures in tour guiding...

So, yesterday was my big day of finally volunteering at Henry's school to help out at the open house. I've been wanting to do this for years, but never had worked up the initiative. Anything that requires me to socialize with people I don't see all that often is something that makes my introverted personality want to run and hide. But our experience at the open house when we were looking to switch Henry to Catholic school was SO positive, and we have liked the school so much, that I wanted to give back a bit. The open house is a part of a larger "Catholic Schools Week," wherein Catholic education is promoted in the media, and fun activities are planned for the kids. It's a lovely thing to be a part of.

A form was sent home that you could write your name on if you wanted to volunteer for the open house. It helped that it was so easy, because I don't remember this form going home in the past. I just wrote my name down, and tucked the form into Henry's backpack. I figured I could be put to good use handing out brochures or welcoming people into the school. Pointing the way to the juice and cookies, perhaps.

Sunday morning dawns, and I dressed cutely and professionally, wanting to make a positive impression for the school. I head out, arriving a few minutes early, like a good eager beaver should. I look around for a few minutes, trying to find the room where the volunteers are slated to meet up. The problem, you see, is that I don't know my way around the school terribly well. I'm not involved in the Home School Association, and any other time I'm at the school for events Henry is a part of or for teacher conferences, I have Henry or Mike to guide me.

I see a few other people and tag along behind them. One of the women is clearly In Charge.

"Tour guides? Yes, right in here."

Uh oh.

Obviously, there must be another room where all of the NON-tour guides will go. The people who are fairly clueless and want to point to the cookies. I mill around for a bit, doing what I do best: listening in.

I discover nothing. Nobody else looks concerned about this turn of events. The form said nothing about volunteering to be a tour guide specifically. It just said, "if you'd like to volunteer for the open house, please sign this form and return it with your child." But there doesn't appear to be any other volunteer opportunities available. I wondered if everyone else knew about this tour guide thing. I casually sidle up to a lady who looks nice:

"Have you volunteered at the open house before?"

"No." Her eyes widen. Clearly, a kindred spirit.

"I don't know my way around very well, so I didn't realize they only needed tour guides..."

"Oh my gosh, ME NEITHER!"

I love this lady.

We talk for a bit, and I recognize a few mothers of children in Henry's class. Some clearly are part of the HSA and are "in the know." The others move over to our group.

"You know, I don't know my way around very well, I'm a little nervous about being a tour guide..."

Whew! It's not just me. However, we're all in a bit of a predicament. There are "tour guide information" announcements being made, and I'm feeling my palms sweat. Clearly, the people in charge need and expect us to be tour guides. I finally get an opportunity to corner the head lady:

"Do you need people to do other things besides being a tour guide? I don't know my way around the building very well."

"Well, no."

At least she's honest.

"Don't worry. Every parent is paired with a middle school student who has received formal training. The kids will do everything in terms of leading the way. We are in desperate need of adults to be a part of the tours. All you need to do is talk to the parents."

Well, she did phrase it in such a way that made me *somewhat* less anxious.  And sort of like I couldn't say no. So I obsessively read the sheet they had given us, wiping my damp palms on my pants. Keeping it classy.

Next thing you knew, I was placed with an 8th grader named Cassie and we were herded off to greet a set of parents with their 3rd grader in tow. The husband works for the diocese. Fabulous. No pressure there.

But honestly, it went very well. Their son is currently enrolled in public school (the same one Henry went to for kindergarten, so nice conversation fodder there) and would be going into 4th grade in the fall, also the same as Henry. I could tell that they definitely wanted to make the switch to Catholic school, it was just a matter of whether it would be this one or one other. The other one we considered for Henry, actually. Cassie led the way, and I made introductions, answered their questions, and inserted my experience as best I could.

They spent a lot of time at the school, so I'm hoping that they will enroll their son, we will see. I actually didn't have time to give another tour, since I was with them for the majority of the 2 hour open house. There was a HUGE turnout, with 10 local Catholic schools closing and parents scrambling to find new schools for their kids.

Thus, overall I had a very nice time. The initial anxiety notwithstanding, I'm so, so glad that I did this and really enjoyed participating. Since we toured the 4th grade room, I got a sneak peek at Henry's next room and teacher, which was a huge bonus. Everything just reinforced why we chose this school for Henry - I fell in love with the warmth, the sense of family and community, the Catholic statuary and prayers in every classroom. Another good open house experience.

Is it Catholic Schools Week in your diocese as well? Are you thinking about Catholic education? Leave me a comment!

The end of an era for some local schools...

When I came downstairs for breakfast this morning, I saw that Mike had set aside the front page of the paper for me and placed it by my chair, which he always does for any Catholic news items.

"Holy Angels is closing. It's a big story."

We live in an area of former growth from Italian and Polish immigrants. As you can imagine, that means that there are a lot of Catholics here. Consequently, you can't do a hip bump without running into a Catholic parish or school. Well, at least you *used to*.

In recent years, our bishop had the highly unpopular task of getting the diocese into better financial shape by closing parishes and schools. This was necessary because of significant population shift. We live in the Rust Belt. People have moved south and west, and the people that have stayed have shifted from the city to the suburbs. So all of these beautiful 100+ year old church buildings and schools were closed, and naturally people were very upset about it. Our parish's school closed three years ago. It had been open since 1897. As devastating as that is, I can understand that you can't keep a school open when there are only 80 children enrolled in the school populating grades pre-k through 8. It's just not financially tenable.

Most recently, it's the Catholic elementary schools that were hit the hardest. Four K-8 schools closed just in our immediate township and the neighboring city border. So far Hank's school has been spared, and we're praying it stays that way.

Holy Angels, on the other hand, is the first high school casualty that I know if. It's a Catholic girls high school in the city (including a fairly new prep school division for girls in grades 6-8), and interestingly it's not under the control of the diocese. It was founded by the Gray Nuns of the Sacred Heart and has been supported by them for the past *152 years*. They have donated an astonishing amount of money from their retirement fund and sold property in an effort to save the school, and it looks like it wasn't enough. The school principal and president has stated that declining enrollment is the death knell, due mostly to the closing of two of it's "feeder schools" and general economic recession/fundraising problems.

There is also a lot of competition. There are multiple Catholic high schools in this area, many of which are single sex like Holy Angels. There is a Catholic boys high school a stone's throw from our house that we're hoping to send Hank to (prayers for scholarships much appreciated :)) and two girls high schools for us to choose from for Anne. So if your child's elementary school closed and you chose another one further away, you are probably more likely to then look at the high schools nearer to your new elementary school since your child will want to stay with their friends.

It's a toughie. I hate to see a school like this close, one that was a charism for a religious order. I saw lots of talk about it on Facebook this morning, interestingly. Alumni and graduates of other local Catholic schools broken up by it.

This phenomena is not isolated in the Catholic schools, however. I read an article in the newspaper this weekend about our public school district. They just finished an assessment of the entire district and have about a half dozen options for what they're going to do in the coming years to save money and address their own declining enrollment. Almost certainly, some school buildings will close and children will be consolidated into other schools. In at least 3 of these options, the public elementary school down the street from us (where Hank went to kindergarten) will either close or become a building housing only a select few grades. In one option, children would have to change school buildings every 2-3 years! Even though we're in constant fundraising paranoia over in the Catholic schools, I think that overall we're in a better situation.  In fact, this upcoming public school consolidation make cause some parents to send their children to a Catholic school instead. And of course, we'd love to pick up more students, I'm just sorry to see the public district suffering and struggling. Teachers will be laid off, it's going to be very unpleasant. :(

We've got Henry all registered for third grade at his current Catholic school. The school picked up some students this year from the latest Catholic elementary school to close, and I'm hoping this means that they will stay in business. There are two other robust Catholic K-8 schools right in our township, so competition is steep. I prefer Hank's current school; it's smaller and warmer, but that comes at the price of the fundraising paranoia mentioned above.

We'll have to see what happens, but Catholic education is certainly feeling worried right now.