WE FINALLY SLEPT! And sacred journeys...

It was a bit of a scene convincing Anne to use the restroom prior to getting into bed last night (vodka tonic mixed *immediately* thereafter), but it was worth it. Because...

SHE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! And all I have to say about that is:

We needed that SO badly. All of us were exhausted and cranky. Including Anne. ;-) She got up this morning all pink-cheeked and chirpy, kissing everybody and eating her breakfast happily with nary a cup of orange juice thrown about in a fit of temper. She even got dressed without sobbing and throwing her body to the floor. It was blissful.

Hence, *I* was feeling happy and awake as I got ready for work this morning, and guess what I listened to while I did so? The Catholic Vitamins podcast, and this week's episode "Catholic Vitamin S - Sacred" features my dear Twitter friend Mike Gannon! He's entering the Discalced Carmelite Friars of Holy Hill, Wisconsin as a postulant this Saturday, the feast of All Saints. During his Catholic Vitamins interview, Mike talks with the wonderful Deacon Tom Fox about his vocation story, and as you all know, I *adore* vocation stories. It's an excellent conversation, and I demand that you all go and listen to it. ;-) I have it linked above, but you can also find it on iTunes if you search for "Catholic Vitamins," it's the most recent episode right now.

I have prayed for dear Mike and his vocation, and so I was beaming with pride as he described his call to religious life and how it all came together. I know that I am not alone in saying that I will sincerely miss his thoughtful and insightful contributions to the Catholic community on Twitter, but I am so, SO happy and excited for him. His official entrance will be with Evening Prayer on All Saints day, so let's all bring him to mind Saturday evening and wing up a prayer for him and his vocation, yes? I have his new snail mail address, and plan to keep in touch via prayer requests and general life updates, and I couldn't be more pleased to have a friend who is a Friar. :0

My husband Mike is very amused by the sheer number of priests, nuns and monks that I know. :) Social media is such a wonderful thing!

Before I sign off, I wanted to add that as I listened to Mike's story this morning, it struck me that our vocations indeed are ever deepening. Discerning one's vocation initially is certainly a major thing, but it doesn't end there. Whether a person is called to religious, married or single life, our vocation is something that we should continue to contemplate on a daily basis to determine how God wants us to fully live out that vocation. Our vocational journey is certainly a lifelong one, to be sure. As a wife and mother, I am often thinking about how I can do better.

Wonderful fodder for a Wednesday morning. Do you have any thoughts on vocations and discernment? Leave a comment. :)

Your child feels called to the religious life - are you smiling or tearing up? Perhaps both :)

I'm being a bit tongue in cheek with the title of this post, because I think everyone who reads this blog knows how lovingly I speak of the religious life. I considered it for myself, and although that was not my vocation, I retain a HUGE soft spot for religious men and women, and monastic living. I read tons of books about it, and find the experience so very sublime.

I have in the past fielded the question of how I would feel should Henry want to be a priest. I have always answered, without hesitation, that I would be thrilled. Depending upon who is asking the question, I have received a variety of responses. :0 Some Catholics nod with understanding and agree that they try to foster an openness to a religious vocation in their children. Others may be sympathetic to the way I feel, but don't necessarily share the sentiment. A few people of various religious persuasions have said to me:

"But...no you wouldn't! Don't you want grandchildren?"

I think Catholic religious vocations seem a bit odd to Christians who do not have celibate clergy, and the nun thing seems downright mysterious. It's different from the way many Christians do things, Anglicans and Orthodox being the exceptions that come immediately to mind (though they do have married clergy, but also religious orders). And this is a fascinating sub-topic, but I'm losing my train of thought as is so often the case. :0

This response has made me think about my answer, although my answer has not changed. Sure, I would love grandchildren someday. However, there is no guarantee, regardless of what vocation they enter into, that my children can and/or will provide them. Life doesn't always work out the way we plan, no? There are lots of couples who would LOVE to have children but are not able to. So my child entering religious life isn't the only reason that they may not have children of their own. The important thing is to discern ones' vocation carefully and to do what God is calling you to do. If my children do that, I will be one happy mother.

But over the weekend, this topic came into my heart anew. A friend from social media, Mike Gannon, announced that he is joining the Carmelites. This wasn't exactly a huge surprise, I could see it brewing for well over a year now. I got home from dance class, saw his Facebook and Twitter posts about it, then went and read his blog post (linked above):

"OH! OH, this is VERY NICE, but..."

*SNIFFLE!*

Mike found me shortly thereafter, wiping my nose as I stared despondently at my phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Mike Gannon is going to become a Carmelite friar. It's GOOD! It's just...I will miss him so much on Twitter!!!"

Because you see, the religious vocations of others are all about ME and my social media experience. :0

I realized that my happy go lucky response about my son and the priesthood was based upon him deciding to become a *diocesan* priest. This is quite different from joining a religious order, where a person is obliged to their community. For both men and women, becoming a member of a religious community means that you must follow the structure and rules of your order and your superior. For cloistered nuns, and also monks, this new lifestyle is quite dramatic. It's not like a man studying for the diocesan priesthood who still has the freedom to go about daily tasks as he pleases in many ways.

I did think about this last year when someone else I followed on Twitter (and a good friend of Mike Gannon's), Channing Dale, entered a cloistered Carmelite community. I didn't even know her, but yet I very strongly felt her absence in my Twitter timeline. And although thrilled for her and for the Church, I felt a bit sad when she left. (I remember saying to my knitting friends: "Her last day on Twitter is coming up. I can't even imagine how she'll feel right after she deactivates her account. And, AND! WE WON'T KNOW, WILL WE, BECAUSE SHE CAN'T TWEET!! *sob*) And the same thing is happening with Mike Gannon, though more strongly because I "know" him better (we've never met in real life). He's a staple in my online Catholic community, and I always enjoy his contributions on Catholic life and issues. I will miss him. :(

Mike will hopefully be back on social media at some point beyond his postulancy, but it is a bit of an unknown. Channing (now Sr. Mary Magdalene of the Divine Heart) will not be back due to the specific nature of her cloistered vocation, and this made me think very deeply about something inherent in the religious life, and indeed in a vocation to marriage as well: there is a dying to self involved. It is more dramatic for cloistered religious than it is for others, but there it is. And for people who know and care for a person entering a cloistered community, there is a sense of loss there, I think. I understand that the gain is SO much greater, for everyone involved. But in our humanness, I still think that this is difficult. In terms of your daily interactions with the person, it may feel a bit like they have died. Poof! They are just gone, and you cannot simply call them to hear their voice. That is terribly hard.

For a parent, I imagine that this would be *incredibly* challenging. I'm not saying that I would begrudge my son or daughter a religious vocation, certainly not, but there are things that I would struggle with. Particularly if it were Anne entering a cloistered monastery. I would get over it, and I would be so very joyful about my child offering their life to Jesus, but I would grieve a little bit for their company, I think.

Just keeping it real here, as I always strive to do. :) I would still be thrilled if Henry or Anne felt called to the religious life, whether it be to a cloistered or active community, or for Henry to the diocesan priesthood. But there is an element of emotional pain that I think would be very real as a parent adjusting to this change.

Thoughts? :)

Vocations Spotlight: Fr. Darryl Millette, Part 2

Morning all! It's time for another installment with Fr. Darryl Millette, and I received *wonderful* feedback about part 1 of my talk with him. Fr. Darryl is such a natural writer! The thought he put into each of his answers really shines through. Don't forget to follow him on Twitter to hear more of his thoughts and talk with him one-on-one (@frdarryl), and check out his website, Saskapriest, which includes audio files of his homilies, and a link to his fabulous SportsFathers podcast!

And so without further ado, here is the rest of my interview with Fr. Darryl:

What has been your favorite experience so far as part of your priestly ministry?

Leading a parish through Holy Week (which I’ve done on my own 5 times now) is simply amazing and physically draining and an incredible shot-in-the-arm to my faith. This has been especially true on those occasions where I’ve been able to bring an adult into the faith through baptism and confirmation. Those Holy Thursday/Good Friday/Easter Vigil rituals are some of the most beautiful things that exist on this planet. No question.

I also love presiding at the other Masses in my parishes.

Hearing confessions is perhaps where I most feel like a priest. It is incredibly humbling to pray the words of absolution, knowing how much and how often I need to hear those words myself. But then to know that Christ has released someone from their sins through my being there in the confessional is an indescribable feeling.

I love being able to meet my people in my small, rural community as I walk my dog. :-)

What has been the most challenging part of being a priest?

There are often very many commitments to keep straight in my (often scattered) brain, including many meetings and committees on parish and diocesan levels. While they are necessary, they can strap my energy.

Generally speaking, I am an introvert and so it takes a good deal of effort to be with large numbers of people for an extended period of time. I like my quiet time. But I’ve learned to pace myself with this, too.

Driving can be a bit of a chore sometimes.

Dealing with my own weaknesses and not getting discouraged by them can be challenging as well. This is where a spiritual director/confessor is not a luxury: he’s a necessity.

What is one unique thing about you and/or your ministry that readers would find interesting?

Well, I’ve mentioned my engineering background already, which has amazingly come in handy on a number of occasions. Don’t ask me to do calculus though - I’m way out of practice on that.

I also like my sports. I play hockey and follow the NHL (sadly, the Flames are pretty brutal this year). I have a deep passion for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the CFL - as does everyone else in this province. I’m sure it’s in our DNA.

I have a three-and-a-half year-old Soft Coated Wheaton Terrier named Chloe. She mostly runs my life. And in her extreme patience and unflappable loyalty she has revealed to me incredible glimpses of those aspects of God.  She also has a habit of taking up 3/4 of my bed by the morning… #spoiledrotten

(Go Riders!!!)

Can you describe your prayer routine and how you balance it amongst your other responsibilities?

Not to cop out on this question, but I had read the response that Fr. Kyle Sanders wrote prior to writing my own response. I’d love to just copy his, because it’s basically the same for me!

The cornerstone of my personal prayer life is the liturgy of the hours. If I’m late in praying a particular hour (which perhaps happens more often that I’d like to admit), something just seems off-kilter. It is a huge blessing to be able to take a few minutes at certain, set times of the day and to just be with God through the praying of Scripture. In addition, the longer readings from Tradition in the Office of Readings often gives me a good deal to meditate on. The intercessory prayer at Lauds and Vespers reminds me to pray for others.  And it’s generally a tremendous comfort to know that the exact psalms that I pray are being prayed by other priests, religious, laity, the Pope, etc. It reinforces in my mind the reality that I’m/we’re not alone, even if it’s just me and the dog in the rectory…

Mass is also essential, of course. :-)

Many Catholics do not frequently avail themselves of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. How do you prepare to administer this sacrament, and how would you advise Catholics who wish to return to this sacrament after many years away?

As I answered in the discernment question, I’d say… don’t be afraid. The priest understands sin, mainly because he’s a big ole sinner himself. He isn’t there to judge you but to welcome you back. And he’ll help you through it if you forget what to do.

Yeah, confessing sins can be pretty darn hard. It’s not easy for me to humble myself before another priest when I go to confession. It’s never easy to voice out loud those sins that I know in my heart are blocking me in some way from God.

Yet, sin is ultimately rooted in pridefulness, at some level. Therefore, how appropriate it is that we are asked to be humble in confession - even if just for a few minutes - and to let God be the healing God that he is?

And - confession is usually about 3-5 minutes. It could be longer or shorter. But generally speaking, it’s just a few minutes of humble awkwardness, followed by the most amazing feeling of being completely free that you’ll ever have!

So if it’s been a while, don’t be afraid. Go!

What is one way in which Pope Francis has had a positive influence on your ministry since his election?

Pope Francis has immensely challenged me to be more kind, more gentle, more accepting, closer to people, more self-aware, a better preacher, and more prayerful… among other things. And when I see him I realize that I have a lot more work to do in all of those areas. A LOT more work to do. :-)

But he also gives me hope. Jesus promised he would be with us and he is. He gave Peter the keys to the kingdom and now, nearly 2000 years later, modern means gives me the opportunity to hear and learn from Peter today.

_________________________________________

Oh oh! Once again, this was so, SO lovely!! Fr. Darryl, you should write a book. :) I very much relate to Father's thoughts on confession - I, like many others, in a sense *dread* this sacrament, because it definitely involves a level of awkwardness! There is, however, no greater deterrent to recommitting those sins than knowing that you would have to go back to the priest to confess them again. :0 But hearing about it from a priest's perspective, that they too are humbled by the experience of even hearing confessions because it reminds them of the need for their own, really brings the point home that we should not let ur fears keep us away from this wonderfully freeing sacrament. 

I am also so touched by Fr. Darryl's remarks on the Liturgy of the Hours. As the official prayer of the Church, it is incredibly beautiful to think of countless others around the world praying the exact same psalms, scripture and other prayers as you are on any given day.We are never alone, even when we are by ourselves in our own living room, with an incredibly adorable dog at our side. :)

Fr. Darryl, thank you SO much for being a part of Vocations Spotlight! It was a joy to speak with you! I hope to have more installments in this series after the holidays, but I do not have anyone else lined up right now. If you have someone you would like to suggest, leave me a comment!

*Photo courtesy of artur84, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Vocations Spotlight: Fr. Darryl Millette, Part 1

Happy Monday all! It's time for another Vocations Spotlight, this time with Fr. Darryl Millette from the diocese of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan! I met Fr. Darryl at the Catholic New Media Conference, and I encountered more than one person who asked me: "Have you met Fr. Darryl yet, the priest from Saskatchewan? He's just wonderful!" His kind, jovial personality made him a hit at the conference. I immediately began following him on Twitter (@frdarryl, YOU SHOULD FOLLOW HIM TOO!). He hosts a podcast called The SportsFathers that I have become a huge fan of, and he's mentioned my comments on a few episodes! It doesn't take much to make this Catholic Librarian a happy camper.

*beams*

If you enjoy sports, you should *definitely* check out his podcast! The shows feature enjoyable banter with fellow priests, and you will also hear from his dog, Chloe. The entire situation is absolutely precious. As well, he keeps a blog of audio files from his homilies on his website.

And so, without further ado, here is Part 1 of my talk with Fr. Darryl:

Would you briefly describe your childhood faith background?

I am the oldest in a rather large (and loud) family - four boys and three girls. Growing up, we went to Mass every Sunday and occasionally on weekdays. Prayer in the evening was mandatory, usually involving a rosary (though I seem to remember looking forward to those rare times when the evening was rushed and we had to settle for just a decade!).

As our family moved a number of times, being connected to the local parish was always a vital way for us to be connected to other people.  My home during high school (and the current family home) is on an acreage outside of a small town. It was there that I started to really enjoy taking time for lengthy walks and bike rides, where I’d occasionally wrestle with my understanding of the faith and talk to God. Mind you, I was oftentimes pretty distracted; these thoughts were usually interspersed with my wrestling with the latest deeds of our beloved CFL team, the Saskatchewan Roughriders, or with trying to figure out some algorithm in my computer programming hobby. But faith was definitely a part of my life growing up, in amongst many other things!

When and why did you decide to become a priest? Was it a specific experience, or did it take root over a long period of time?

The thought of being a priest had crossed my mind during high school, but it didn’t really take root in me at that time.  However, when I entered university (electrical engineering) I encountered a Catholic group on campus who is somewhat similar to FOCUS in the United States.  This group, Catholic Christian Outreach (CCO), really challenged me to take this faith in which I had been raised and to make it my own, developing my relationship with Jesus in an intentional way.  They also challenged me to share Christ in different ways. I became involved with this group on an organizational level, helped lead faith studies, and so forth.

During this time, the question of my vocation became louder. However, I also became equally adept at suppressing it. It’s not that I had any sort of big, mystical moments where St. Joseph and Bl. Mother Teresa appeared to me in the clouds and told me to become a priest.  Rather, it was more what I call the gentle, annoying persistence of God, usually taking the form of a slight twinge in my gut when I would hear a vocation talk, or when friends would talk about discernment, or even when I’d see a priest doing something priestly. Usually I’d be able to get that out of my mind relatively quickly… but then a short time later God would annoyingly put some other person or situation in my life to remind me. Over and over. Annoying, gentle persistence. :-)

Finally, when I finished engineering I decided to give a year to work for CCO in their head office as an IT guy.  I wanted to give something back to the ministry that had meant so much to me.

So I worked… for a Catholic organization… requiring a more strict prayer schedule… and having time to think…

That is a Dangerous Combination (TM).

Partway through that year I couldn’t ignore God’s gentle persistence any more.  I sought the guidance of a priest, who later referred me to the vocations director, who referred me to the bishop, and the following fall I was unpacking at St. Joseph Seminary in Edmonton, Alberta as a seminarian for the Diocese of Saskatoon.

And I was home.

Do you have any suggestions or guidance for those who are currently struggling with vocational discernment?

Don’t be afraid.

Fear was probably the key factor that led me to keep pushing God’s call out of my mind, over and over. Persistent questions for me included: How could I be happy without marriage? How could I be happy by being obedient to a bishop? What would it mean if I did all this engineering and didn’t use it as a priest? What would my friends and family think?

I’ve learned a few answers to these questions over the years, and I’m still learning:

- God’s call for your life, whatever it is, will be the most fulfilling thing for you and a source of immense joy.

- I have given up marriage, which is certainly a sacrifice. The young, married parents in my parish have basically given up sleep. I don’t say this to trivialize anything, but rather to point out that sacrifice is required in any vocational following of Jesus Christ. Jesus commanded us to take up our cross daily and follow him. That can be frightening. That can be an immense challenge. It’s easier to turn around. But you are not alone; Jesus is with you. And he’ll lead you right through the cross and into resurrection.

- Obedience can be challenging sometimes, but God’s grace works amazing things through it. Example: Two months after my ordination I was asked to become the main priest chaplain of the largest hospital in the province of Saskatchewan. This was hard. It was very hard for a new, young, somewhat naive priest to take on. The assignment lasted close to a year. But looking back I can see that I learned so much about myself and about ministry during that year. Obedience can be tough, but God is ever faithful. Obedience can also be a source of consolation: there is much need in our world, and it is wonderful to know that I have a shepherd who’s got my back, and who, along with me, discerns where I might be needed most. Obedience is therefore a freeing gift that opens me up to experiences in ministry of which I wouldn’t have dreamed!

- Your background/gifts/talents are important things that God can use in you, no matter what your vocation. Amazingly, I’ve done a good amount of engineering-type work since becoming a priest. My first parish where I was an associate was undergoing a major building campaign and I ended up working on technical specifications. Currently one of my parishes is doing some renovations and I’m in the midst of sound system design. God works in mysterious ways!

- I won’t lie; there was initially some reluctance to my decision to enter the seminary from some of my family and friends. They asked questions, often very good questions about my motives. This was important for keeping me honest with myself. But then, very early on I began to receive a lot of tremendous support from those who had been skeptical. And they all rejoiced with me and my diocese on my ordination day and continue to support me immensely.

Again: Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid to seek Christ in prayer. Don’t be afraid to seek guidance from a priest, sister, or brother you trust. Don’t be afraid to consider a seminary or monastery or convent; this is simply another step in discernment, not an “Ohmygoodness for sure I’m going to be ordained/consecrated forEVER!” step.

God is faithful.

_________________________________________

As I was reading over Fr. Darryl's words, I was blown away by how much thought he had put into his answers. It reads like an exciting novel, I got so caught up in the story of his family and vocation! In particular, his thoughts on discernment have my mind all awhirl. It's so true - if you seek God's will, you will *not* be disappointed or left adrift!

I hope that you all are looking forward to Part 2 of Fr. Darryl's interview as much as I am! In that post, he'll talk a bit about his ministry, his hobbies, and Pope Francis! Since next Monday is the first Monday of Advent, I have another post planned for that day, so look for Fr. Darryl again next *Tuesday* December 3rd!

And follow him on Twitter. Seriously. 

*Photo courtesy of artur84, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Vocations Spotlight: Fr. Kyle Sanders, Part 2

Happy Vocations Monday, everyone! I'm not certain when I will post another installment in this series, but I do hope to do it again. My little mind is all awhirl with plans on this, trust me.

Today we revisit Fr. Kyle Sanders, a priest in the archdiocese of New Orleans. Read Part 1 of his story here, in which we learn about his discernment process toward becoming ordained as a diocesan priest. In Part 2, I asked Father about some specifics about his priestly ministry and prayer life. Do read on!

What has been your favorite experience so far as part of your priestly ministry?

Other than hearing confessions for extended periods during (Franciscan University of) Steubenville conferences, it would have to be celebrating mass on the bones of Sts Simon and Jude in St. Peter's Basilica. 

What has been the most challenging part of being a priest?

Because the priest is such a means of the grace of the Father, Satan hates him with extraordinary disgust. Dealing with greater reminders of my own brokenness through constant temptations and subtle lies has been the most difficult and naïvely unexpected thing for me. The great thing about that is that the Father uses those instances to continue to humble me. The crucible is no fun, but due to faith and hope I can see the pure metal of my soul being forged.

What is one unique thing about you and/or your ministry that readers would find interesting?

My best friend is my sister. We grew up three years apart, and when we were young, I was the typical 'forceful' older brother. Before I went off to seminary, I knew I wouldn't be able to influence her as much especially with regards to faith. She was hanging around friends that weren't trouble makers, but who I could tell were focused squarely not on Christ, but on the world. That worried me, so I forced her to come to youth group with me, and she sat there arms folded, uninterested. Eventually though, she returned, and became an active member there and her faith blossomed. She worked in the office of the Catholic church on her college campus. After college, she became a missionary with FOCUS. In her three years as a missionary, her faith and prayer life grew exponentially. She now lives back home and works with a youth ministry company. She is constantly building up my faith as my ministry is building up her.

Can you describe your prayer routine and how you balance it amongst your other responsibilities?

Why you gotta go and do that!? Hee hee. This is something I'm still struggling with due to the change from the high structured life of seminary to the highly unstructured life of a diocesan priest. So I will give you what it is my desire to do everyday, but I often do not meet my plan. I'll wake early enough drink a cup of coffee while praying the first hour of the liturgy of hours, take a shower, and then do my Holy Hour. Sometime midday-ish I'll pray midday prayer. Then in the evening I'll get evening prayer in somewhere. Then after everything is done. I'll do 15 minutes of spiritual reading followed by night prayer. That's my goal but I often fall short, and now everyone knows. :-/

Yeah, so the balance is what I struggle with because I tend to focus on one thing at a time and forget about other things when I'm in that task or activity.

Many Catholics do not frequently avail themselves of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. How do you prepare to administer this sacrament, and how would you advise Catholics who wish to return to this sacrament after many years away?

To prepare, I usually pray for the grace to be open to the Holy Spirit and ask Our Lady of Sorrows for help and guidance.

I'm not there to judge, despite previous bad experiences my end is bringing them freedom and new life. I would often tell my experience of confession especially after a really rough time I had during my high school years. People will often here laughter in my confessional. I make jokes and laugh not to trivialize the sacrament but rather to make the penitent comfortable and help them to realize that  that choice was laughable comparable to the Lord.

What is one way in which Pope Francis has had a positive influence on your ministry since his election?
 
(1) I need to be more person-centered in my daily interactions. The theology I learned from JP II, but I was still too young to learn from his actions. I'm learning that from Francis. 
  
(2) I need to spend more time with the poor and broken of my parish. 
________________________________________________ 

I just wanted to hug Fr. Kyle after reading his comments on prayer. :-) I think we can all SO relate to what Father is saying, no? We are all human and struggle with concentration and making time for prayer. Not a single person is exempt from this. It is easy to think that our own struggle must mean that there is something wrong with us - the answer is quite the contrary.

And laughter in the confessional? LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Of course, the sacrament is a solemn thing, but relating to people and making them comfortable is *key* to them availing themselves of the sacrament again! I find this absolutely delightful.

Many, many thanks to Fr. Kyle for participating in Vocations Spotlight and sharing his journey of faith with us at Life of a Catholic Librarian!  To keep up with Fr. Kyle and his ministry, sign up to subscribe to his blog, Reverenced Reading, and/or follow him on Twitter, his handle is @colonel4God. Send him a tweet to let him know your thoughts on his interview!

*Photo courtesy of artur84, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Vocations Spotlight: Fr. Kyle Sanders, Part 1

Happy Monday all! I am very pleased to start a new (and hopefully ongoing) series on vocations. What I'd like to do is feature slice of life glimpses from Catholics in different vocations: How did they discern their vocation and what is their day-to-day life like? 

We begin with the priesthood. Fr. Kyle Sanders is an engaging young priest who graciously agreed to my request for a Q&A post, and he introduces himself at his blog, Reverenced Reading, as follows: 

  

"I am a priest of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. I was born and raised right outside New Orleans. I attended Catholic school my entire educational career. By the time I graduated high school, I had two paths to choose: rockstar or priesthood. I pursued both for awhile but eventually came to the understanding God's will was priesthood and my will was rockstardom. After making that decision, to allow God's will to be mine, I needed a new way to channel my creativity. I began writing as I finished up my formation for priesthood. I still play music, but priestly ministry comes first. My bride: St. Rita of Cascia Parish in Harahan, LA."

 And so without further ado, here is the first part of my interview with Fr. Kyle:

Would you briefly describe your childhood faith background?

I grew up in a mixed religion family. My father is Catholic and my mother is Baptist. They were married in the Church, and part of them receiving dispensation for doing so my father promised to raise their children Catholic. For the whole of my cogent life, my mom has not darkened the door of a Baptist church except for her mother's funeral (but she has come to see her son celebrate mass). My father grew up in a mixed religion family. His mother was Catholic and his father was a faithful Presbyterian (who oddly enough was a tour guide in St. Louis Cathedral). My dad, then, had experience seeing what it was like to raise a child Catholic in the midst of a mixed religion family. His mother was what one would call 'a church lady' only her holiness offset the self-righteousness generally attributed to the breed. I was baptized as a child and went to Catholic grammar school. I learned about Scripture and about the faith and was a bit more attentive than most of my classmates at mass. I became an altar server in the fourth grade. My prayer life consisted primarily of the guardian angel prayer before bed.

When and why did you decide to become a priest? Was it a specific experience, or did it take root over a long period of time?

I would maybe rephrase the question slightly to 'when and why did you decide to answer the call to become a priest?' Because ultimately, the man discerns with the Church in the Holy Spirit and although a man may 'decide' to become a priest the call must be confirmed by the Church as a genuine call.

The call was initially inspired by the witness of a newly ordained priest who was assigned to the parish where I attended youth group. I was attracted to the way that he was living his life. They way that he led worship in mass. He was happy, and a happy priest was not what I grew up with.

Then during my senior year of high school, I came to the crossroads all seniors come to: where am I going to college? The call the that I had heard two years earlier was still there. It had come back in small ways, like little grace-filled post-it notes, little reminders, but I wanted to be 'sure.' So I spent many hours upon hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament praying for the discernment of my vocation. Slowly I was beginning to abandon myself to the divine will although it was still not totally clear for me.

Then one night I was in adoration. A person walked into the chapel and soon after his phone rang. I had my eyes closed praying the rosary, but I could hear unintelligible speech outside. He comes back into the chapel and asks the person closest to the door where a neighboring parish was. As soon as those words leapt from his mouth my heart lit up like a bonfire of Guy Fawkes Day. It was beating as loud as a military tattoo. In all that, I heard the words, 'Kyle, show him where it is.' I hesitated out of confusion mixed with fear, but the fire and beating of my heart was irresistible. So I got up and left the chapel. I could see his break lights so I ran to his car and knocked on the driver's window. I could tell I scared him, but he rolled down the window and in the glint of the streetlight I could see the white of a Roman collar. I was too slow to realize the importance of that. I told him to follow me, and he did. We arrived at the parish and the parking lot was packed. The pastor of that parish was also the chaplain at my high school so I figured I'd say hello, only he wasn't anywhere on the campus. Resigned not to see him, I walk back towards my car. In the parking lot, I ran into the priest that first initiated my desire for the priestly life. This is the second priest but I still wasn't getting it. He invited me to go a part of the campus I had not explored where there was a dinner. I walk into the school cafeteria and on a white banner hanging from the ceiling written in red letters were the words 'Thank You Priests for Being Priests.' It was then that I realized what God was doing. I spent the next 10 minutes outside in tears, praise and awe of what the Lord had done.

Do you have any suggestions or guidance for those who are currently struggling with vocational discernment?

My first advice would be to pray, pray, pray, pray, and then pray some more. We aren't able to receive the depth of the Lord's will unless we listen in silence within the communion of prayer.

Abandon your own thoughts and desires and make your prayer to be conformed to the will of the Father. In other words pray often with the agony in the garden and the conversion of St. Paul.

The Lord doesn't work episodically like a sit-com. He's more of a novel writer, so reflect on your past as look and see where and when He was active. He's been guiding you and showing you His desire for you throughout the entirety of your life, not just now.

_____________________________

 The above are the questions relating to discernment of his priestly vocation, we still have more to come from Fr. Kyle! Before I give you a teaser for what I'll post next week, I wanted to briefly reflect on what is written here. I find family faith stories SO incredibly interesting, and I note that Fr. Kyle came from a mixed religious household. That applies to so many families, and shows that a vocation to the priesthood can blossom even when both parents aren't Catholic. 

I absolutely loved Father's clarification on my second question, about how he decided to become a priest. His explanation of it as "answering a call" rather than a decision in the traditional sense is just beautiful. As well, I know that I will be reflecting on his thoughts about discernment for a long time to come. His description of the Lord being a novel writer, and our discernment of His Will as needing to incorporate a look back on the story of our lives to see where He has been active and how He has been guiding us...is just sublime. This visual will guide my prayers from now on. The Lord as the Master Storyteller, I just love this. And we certainly need to be paying attention to the plot to see where the author is leading us, no?

Come back next Monday to learn about Fr. Kyle's thoughts on:

- his favorite experience in priestly ministry;

- the most challenging part of priestly ministry;

- his daily prayer routine and how he balances it amongst his other responsibilities;

- the highly underused Sacrament of Reconcilliation;

- Pope Francis,

...and more! To keep up with Fr. Kyle and his ministry, sign up to subscribe to his blog, Reverenced Reading, and/or follow him on Twitter, his handle is @colonel4God.

Thank you SO much to Fr. Kyle for agreeing to be featured in Vocations Spotlight at Life of a Catholic Librarian, and see you all next week for Part 2 of his interview!

*Photo courtesy of artur84, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A very unordinary Sunday in Ordinary Time

We begin at the vigil for the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time. Mike and I attended Mass without the kids because we were going out for dinner alone together, and the kids were with their grandparents (God is good :)). All day I had been thinking about Channing, entering a Carmelite monastery that very morning, and let me interrupt my story for this very important announcement:

(a different) Mike over at Distracted Catholic blogged about Channing's entrance ceremony, and you simply must read it. Click on the link, and do it now. :) You can come back to me after you have read it. LOVE.

Ok, so Mike and I at Mass. We walk in, me in my veil and Mike dressed very nicely, and within moments, as I kneel praying in our pew, I feel somebody at my elbow. It's the usher.

"Would you folks mind bringing up the gifts?"

I quickly checked with Mike, and we both agreed happily to bring up the gifts.

Mike leans over.

"I think it's your veil. That's why he asked us." He looked amused. :)

However, when it came time for the gifts to be brought up, as Mike and I waited excitedly in our pew for the usher to come get us...he didn't. I could hear the ushers still walking down the aisle, and the couple two pews ahead of us were making movements like *they* too were awaiting the ushers' approach. I eyed them suspiciously. Suddenly, that couple stood up and the group of ushers went with them to the gift table. Mike leans over:

"What happened?"

I furrow my brow underneath my veil.

"I don't know. Maybe two different ushers made two different arrangements? Must have been some sort of misunderstanding."

We agreed that we were both disappointed. I mean, it's not a big deal, but I'm always looking for little ways to spark Mike's faith, and he had been looking forward to this. Bummer, but God works in mysterious ways.

Over dinner and wine, he agreed to accompany the kids and I to a local Marian shrine the next morning, since I had already gotten to Mass. See the God/mysterious ways thing? :)

The next morning dawned with a temperature somewhere in the neighborhood of the surface of the sun. Or at least that's how it *felt*. We don't do heat real well here, and it was HOT. Mike gamely let Henry lead him to the dome of the church and the Mary statue up there, while Anne and I ran around in the saint garden area. Anne picked up a bunch of stuff that she favored highly (weeds, sticks, crab apples, Read: CRAP) while I pointed out the various saint statues to her.

By this point, about 10 minutes had elapsed and Mike and I were already melting. We spent a little time in the side chapels of the church (one devoted to Our Lady of Fatima, the other to the Blessed Sacrament) and herded the kids to the religious goods store.

Henry and I have a field day in places like this. It doesn't matter what we buy, we always spend $50. It's sort of like when you take your car to the mechanic. You're not getting out of there without forking over what you paid for a month's rent in college.

At any rate, this trip yielded:

1 St. Patrick saint statue for Henry's collection,

2 holy medal bookmarks for me, one of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, the other of St. Therese of Lisieux,

1 St. Michael/St. Christopher visor clip for Mike's car, since his original one just broke, and

1 awesome book for the next installment of the Catholic Book Club, title to be unveiled soon! Let's just say that the spirit of the weekend led me over to the "religious life" section, and really good things happened.

Though hot, it was a lovely outing. And I'm ridiculously excited about those bookmarks.

In my excitement to start my new book, I finished Mother Hart's The Ear of the Heart, so you'll see the review up by the end of the week. :)

I hope that you all had a great July weekend!

So...how is your Year of Faith going?

Before I get started, thank you to everybody that answered my call for company on Twitter. :) I see Cam over there now, as well as some others, and I'm really having a good time with this and hope that I continue to meet more people there. Please do reply to my Tweets over there or send me a message! I'd love to talk to you.

Ok, so my increased involvement at Twitter has had a very good spiritual side effect. During the day, I'm thinking more and more about Catholic things that I see on there. Prayers, events, news items. And a few people recently mentioned the Year of Faith. That, combined with the unfolding vocation story that I mentioned in the past week or so of the young woman I follow on Twitter (@ChanningDale) that is entering a Carmelite monastery in a month, has gotten my little mind whirling. (Definitely check out her podcast for as long as it's still available, she discusses her vocation story in depth on there. You can find it on iTunes as "This Catholic Life.")

How well am I doing living out my vocation? And what have I been doing to fully embrace this special Year of Faith? Those two questions have been on my mind this week.

Mike teases me that he's glad that I sacrificed being a nun so that he could marry me. :) But how well am I doing in my vocation as a wife and mother? It's always important to evaluate that and not take it for granted that marriage is in fact a vocation, not just a lifestyle choice. I felt called to marry Mike, and we both felt strongly that we were called to welcome children into our marriage. That part was very easy, really. It's the day-to-day stuff that I know that I struggle with, as I'm sure most people do. I'm very happily married and I love my children, but am I the best wife and mother that I could be every moment of every single day? The simple answer is no.

So here is where the Year of Faith ties back in. Do I take advantage of what the Church has to offer me to boost me spiritually in my vocation? In many ways yes, but of course I could always be reaching out more. I frequent the sacraments. I pray daily. But have I done anything special this year to maximize the Year of Faith that the Church has set up for us to benefit from?

It's interesting, but as I look back on my year (the liturgical year, that is) I would say that my spiritual life has in fact been more vibrant. I've been putting more into it, and although I'm far from attaining the way of perfection :) I'm getting more out of it. And it definitely corresponds with when the Year of Faith began.

I had a particularly nice Advent this past year, and then shortly after Christmas I did the consecration to Jesus through Mary via the book 33 Days to Morning Glory. That Marian consecration, in hindsight, seems to me to have been a quiet leviathan in my spiritual life. At the time, no fireworks were shot out or anything, but when I look back I'm astounded by how much I've been ardently working on my spiritual life since then and trying harder to be more patient in my vocation as compared to before. I attribute this directly to the consecration.

I read the other day that we're approximately 6 months into the year of faith. So it seems an appropriate time to take stock.  I feel very happy in my faith life right now, but I'm not getting a halo anytime soon, I'm still very much in need of grace. So, what else could I do to grow closer to God?

I need to keep up with daily Mass as often as I can. I haven't made it yet this week, so I'm going to prioritize that tomorrow (the feast of St. Anthony of Padua!). I'd also like to start slowly (sigh) reading through some Catholic classics since I haven't read most of them. I'm terrible about deep theological reading. I have read Introduction to the Devout Life (a very accessible read) and The Story of a Soul (also lovely). But I haven't read any other major work of a saint or Church Father. This Catholic librarian needs to get busy, clearly. There are *tons* of these available for next to nothing on Kindle. I'll update you on my progress.

I'll leave you with an amusing anecdote. Right around the time Mike and I got engaged, my good friend Rose and I (who was soon to be engaged but also had nun longings like I did) decided to go on a retreat to discern whether we were in fact following God's will for our lives. We found this remote retreat place for laypeople run by a group of monks a few hours drive away. You could rent a small cabin and there was a chapel on the grounds as well. It was in the woods, so lots of time for prayerful contemplation.

Now, we're city girls. Definitely not what you would call "rustic." We did know that there was no indoor plumbing, and that the heat source was a wood burning stove. We thought we were prepared.

We arrived, filled our jug with water and proceeded to our cabin. We managed fine during the day. I don't even remember what we ate, but we had come prepared. The no running water thing was a bit of a challenge, but we persevered. I held my breath a lot in the outhouse and felt very Pioneer Woman. We went to the chapel and prayed.

Then night fell. Not having grown up in the country, I wasn't really prepared for how DARK it gets at night. Everything was fine until one of us needed to use the facilities and went out back to the outhouse with a flashlight. Discovery of a spider as large as our hands now present in the outhouse was immediately reported to the other. A mutual decision was made that further use of the outhouse simply wasn't possible. Whereupon the heavy cover of darkness became, let's just say, quite indispensable.

Next came our preparations for bed. We loaded some wood into the stove thing, got it lit, and settled in for some spiritual reading. All was well. We drifted off to sleep.

I awoke with a start, noticing that I was quite warm. I'm not sure what had happened, but it had become so hot in our cabin that I had a hard time seeing Rose on the other side of the room since the air was so wavy. I immediately pop open the windows and checked the time. It seemed like we'd been sleeping for a long time.

We'd been sleeping for maybe 30 minutes.

I woke Rose so that we could be sure and not asphxiate to death. We got the stove situation righted and tried to go back to sleep. I tossed and turned a lot.

The next day, we got up for Mass and were faced with a crisis about the spider-infested outhouse. With the light of day, we obviously had no choice but to use it, and we felt that our time in purgatory should be reduced due to our heroism.

I look back on that time with much fondness. The friends that I made after I came back from law school have been so wonderful.

I can't go on a retreat right now, but perhaps I can create a "home retreat" with some solid spiritual reading. I will let you know how things go. :) But I'm thinking spiders won't be involved this time...

Did anybody else contemplate becoming a nun?

So, it seems in my experience, that many devout Catholic women that I have met have considered a religious vocation at some earlier point in their life. I am no exception.

Back when I first embraced my faith as an adult in my early 20's, I did think about the religious life. I can't say I thought too deeply about a contemplative order, more of an active order, perhaps teaching. There were some aspects of a contemplative vocation that appealed to me, but I didn't feel that God was calling me to that. Nor to any sort of religious community, ultimately.

Well, relatedly, on this week's episode of the Catholic Weekend podcast (# 174, I believe), the guest was Channing Dale, a young woman who is joining a Discalced Carmelite monastery in Pennsylvania in July. I was completely captivated.

Even though I do not have a religious vocation, I remain fascinated with those who do. I loved hearing her story of how she came to discern her vocation and the order to which she felt called. I have to admit, as a parent, I do find the thought of an enclosed, contemplative order like the Discaled Carmelites to be more intimidating than I used to. :) If my daughter were to join an order like this, I wouldn't get to see or talk to her very much anymore, and I would mourn that relationship I used to share with her. I know that's selfish, but I'm just being honest, and it's how I feel. I would certainly still support her decision, and of course, it would be an incredibly special thing to have a nun in the family. I'm sure I would be thrilled, it would just take some serious getting used-to.

In the world that we live in, a contemplative vocation is very hard to imagine. I get so much out of "my" Catholic community online, that the thought of being cut off from that makes me feel bereft. Social networking, online news sites, message boards, all of that stuff. I log on every day just to see what is going on in the Catholic world and in the Catholic community that I hold dear. It would be very difficult to not have that emotional support anymore. Even though I'm not the most extroverted person, I also cannot imagine living mostly in silence and not being able to talk to someone whenever I wanted to. Of course, this is all because I do not have a vocation to the Carmelite life; those that do are able to thrive in these circumstances.

If you find these sorts of stories interesting as well, definitely listen to this podcast. I was very taken with it. Channing talks about the order, the specific monastery she will be entering, her discernment and preparation, and how she is in fact cutting herself off from social media in mid-June. Good stuff.