Bet you just can't wait to read this post. :)
Well, I'm still sick. Anne is still sick and also cutting a tooth. Henry has been "testing" us a lot lately in terms of his behavior, I left my pump at home for the first time since last August, and my car needs $250 worth of repairs. It wasn't the best of mornings.
Man, and my lips are *killing* me. Who knows what I'm talking about?! When you're sick and it feels like all of the moisture is sucked out of your very face? That's how I feel right now. I'm also quite whiny and pathetic.
I'm very emotional about the pumping thing. We had a good run, but it's time. Anne's birthday is Friday, she has plenty of milk in the refrigerator for today, and we have several bags of milk in the freezer. I know that we've saved likely thousands of dollars in infant formula due to my dedication and this small $250 pump over the course of two children. It's time. Then why do I feel like crying?
What I really need to do is go back to bed. Anne was up at 5:30 this morning. Could have been worse. But then she wouldn't let us put her down and she sobbed for the entire time I was trying to get dressed and my rat's nest of a head of hair combed and straightened. I feel all woozy. Maybe I should put myself out of my misery and leave early...
But then I'd miss knitting, and I don't want to miss knitting. Because I'm crazy. But also because I love knitting and my knitting friends. I need them, especially today.
Here's hoping for a better night tonight, and a return to full consciousness tomorrow...
Showing posts with label pumping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pumping. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
My love/hate relationship with pumping about to come to an end again...
This will be a short post since I picked up Anne's cold and am feeling decidedly less than 100% today. I will say that she's been sleeping through the night like a champ, but the morning wake up call of 5:45 am is still leaving me very, very tired, especially when sick. We're just hanging in there the best we can.I'm feeling all vulnerable because her birthday is coming up, and in a few short days, I'll stop pumping. I'll continue to nurse her when I'm with her, but when I'm not, we switch to cow's milk at 1 year. Given that this is an issue relating to my babies, I'm all overly emotional about the whole thing.
I mean, on the one hand, I hate dragging my pump to work everyday. I'm already loaded down with my usual work and purse supplies, and the pump is another large bag to add to the mix. I also have to carve time out of my day to pump, and while that isn't a huge deal, it still can be a headache on some days. My milk supply is already down a ton anyway just due to her solids intake, and so my pumping is now down to once per day. I don't get uncomfortably full anymore. So, it's time. Plus, I still get my cuddly nursing time with her.
But on the other hand...I can't help it, it makes me sad. It's yet another milestone on the road to my baby growing up. And yes, that's a good thing, but it's difficult in it's own way. Due to my age, I don't know that we'll have another baby. And so even though my childbearing years are not yet over and we remain open to possibilities, there is more of a sense of finality this time, like "this could be it." And that elicits an outpouring of emotion.
I remember Mother Angelica once saying "Nothing lasts forever, Honey." Not in this world, at least. We can never get too comfortable or take things for granted, because they could change in the blink of an eye. I have two healthy children and I need to focus on the positives in my life rather than getting teary about things that have come and gone. But it's hard. Change is hard.
I remember so fondly this exact time last year, in the days and weeks leading up to Anne's birth. So special and exciting. Things are different this year, but I'm also (a) getting more sleep, and (b) not feeling gigantic. I guess that's good. :)
I just want to go home and sip tea now. *whines*
Monday, April 23, 2012
My interview on pumping...
A blogger friend of mine asked me to do an interview for her recently about working outside the home and pumping for my babies. Part 1 is posted today. :) I feel all important...
Friday, January 6, 2012
And "one of those days" continues...
So yesterday, after the indignity of storing my breast milk in the common work refrigerator, I was real paranoid about forgetting it in there. I pumped again shortly before I left, and I wanted to leave just a hair early since Mike had another one of those orientation sessions and had to leave early into the evening. I wanted us to be able to all eat together.
Thus, in my paranoia, I retrieved the milk from its place behind the yogurt and placed it with the new milk into my little cooler in my pump bag since I knew I would be leaving shortly. I then continued going through a ton of emails that had compiled while I was attending an in-house seminar all day, including an email relating to our requirement to take some evening and weekend hours for the upcoming spring semester. We all have to volunteer for a small number of undesirable shifts each semester, and we get compensatory time in exchange that we can use during the week. Usually, it's one or two shifts. This semester, it's suddenly four.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I had read that wrong. Oh sigh. We have less and less librarians all the time due to retirement and people leaving for any number of reasons. And we haven't replaced anybody. I don't like working evenings, because then I can't see my kids before they go to bed. So I usually take a Sunday afternoon shift or two. Four seemed a lot more onerous, but what can one do? I quickly responded with one Sunday written in for me per month, to space them out a bit. The Sundays aren't bad because I still have all morning and then dinner home with my family. Our wonderful assistant wrote right back to me to say that 3 of those Sundays had already been spoken for.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inside, I said a bad word. This happens EVERY semester. I'm super compulsive with my email, and yet the evening and weekend sheet goes around inevitably at a time when I'm not right on top of it for a few hours. So I called her right up and managed to finagle three Sundays (less desirable ones due to other weekend commitments) and one Saturday. I'm feeling pouty, but there's nothing I can do. It's part of my job, and this way I will at least get to take some Friday afternoons off to be with Mike and the kids in exchange.
So I was feeling flustered as 4 pm rolled around. I finished up a few more things, found that all the hot tea I'd drank meant that I had to make yet another run to the ladies room, and then bundled up and shut my computer down. I listened to a Catholic podcast as I made the trek out to the car, which at this university, is no small walk. Parking is a huge issue here, and although I have a staff parking tag and can generally get a spot (unless it's between 10 am and 3 pm; this is in contrast to the students who have a MUCH rougher go of it) it's not phenomenally close to the library. And when it's cold out, I walk through the indoor walkways which takes even longer but that way I'm not out in the wind. And that's another story; who on earth designed these walkways? There's no heat in them. They do cut the wind nicely, but in the heart of winter I have to actually brace myself to walk through them. THEY HAVE ICE ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDOWS. This just seems like a bad plan to me.
So, finally, I arrive at my car. I have an automatic starter and got it going from the far side of the lot so that it could warm up for me. I grabbed my pump to get it into the passenger seat first, and wait. What's that?
My pump. Or rather, my lack of a pump. I had forgotten it, all the way back in my office.
Now I said a REALLY bad word, and I said it right out loud. Crankily, I spun around to find our assistant behind me looking concerned that something was really wrong with me. I assured her I was fine and hurried back to the library, where sure enough, my pump sat innocently next to my desk. I grabbed it and walked all the way back to my car and sped home, where Anne was sobbing for me to nurse her. I popped her into her high chair since we wanted to eat, but she was having none of it. She ate her bananas and squash, but squawked the whole time causing me to eat much more quickly than I would have liked.
After that, Mike left, so I nursed Anne and watched Tom & Jerry's Nutcracker with Hank. At 7 pm, both children were ready for bed, so I tucked them both in. Hank has been coughing, so I got out his penguin cool mist humidifier and set it all up for him. He coughed only a few times before going to sleep.
Until an hour or so later. Then, he coughed for an hour and a half. Around 10 pm, he finally fell asleep. Mike and I fell asleep shortly thereafter. Around 11 pm, Anne was up. I nursed her and got her back into her crib. She refused to go back to sleep, so we did another nursing session. Finally, she went to sleep in her crib, but by this time it was close to 1. Exhausted, I fell into bed.
By 5 am, I could hear Hank coughing again. And he coughed until 6:30, when we all got up. I found him curled under a blanket when I went to check on him.
"Honey, what hurts?"
"MY WHOLE BODY."
Thus, he's home from school today, and Anne is cranky and miserable. And poor Mike is home with both of them. I'm taking a half sick day to go home and relieve him after lunch.
Oh sigh.
Thus, in my paranoia, I retrieved the milk from its place behind the yogurt and placed it with the new milk into my little cooler in my pump bag since I knew I would be leaving shortly. I then continued going through a ton of emails that had compiled while I was attending an in-house seminar all day, including an email relating to our requirement to take some evening and weekend hours for the upcoming spring semester. We all have to volunteer for a small number of undesirable shifts each semester, and we get compensatory time in exchange that we can use during the week. Usually, it's one or two shifts. This semester, it's suddenly four.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought I had read that wrong. Oh sigh. We have less and less librarians all the time due to retirement and people leaving for any number of reasons. And we haven't replaced anybody. I don't like working evenings, because then I can't see my kids before they go to bed. So I usually take a Sunday afternoon shift or two. Four seemed a lot more onerous, but what can one do? I quickly responded with one Sunday written in for me per month, to space them out a bit. The Sundays aren't bad because I still have all morning and then dinner home with my family. Our wonderful assistant wrote right back to me to say that 3 of those Sundays had already been spoken for.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inside, I said a bad word. This happens EVERY semester. I'm super compulsive with my email, and yet the evening and weekend sheet goes around inevitably at a time when I'm not right on top of it for a few hours. So I called her right up and managed to finagle three Sundays (less desirable ones due to other weekend commitments) and one Saturday. I'm feeling pouty, but there's nothing I can do. It's part of my job, and this way I will at least get to take some Friday afternoons off to be with Mike and the kids in exchange.
So I was feeling flustered as 4 pm rolled around. I finished up a few more things, found that all the hot tea I'd drank meant that I had to make yet another run to the ladies room, and then bundled up and shut my computer down. I listened to a Catholic podcast as I made the trek out to the car, which at this university, is no small walk. Parking is a huge issue here, and although I have a staff parking tag and can generally get a spot (unless it's between 10 am and 3 pm; this is in contrast to the students who have a MUCH rougher go of it) it's not phenomenally close to the library. And when it's cold out, I walk through the indoor walkways which takes even longer but that way I'm not out in the wind. And that's another story; who on earth designed these walkways? There's no heat in them. They do cut the wind nicely, but in the heart of winter I have to actually brace myself to walk through them. THEY HAVE ICE ON THE INSIDE OF THE WINDOWS. This just seems like a bad plan to me.
So, finally, I arrive at my car. I have an automatic starter and got it going from the far side of the lot so that it could warm up for me. I grabbed my pump to get it into the passenger seat first, and wait. What's that?
My pump. Or rather, my lack of a pump. I had forgotten it, all the way back in my office.
Now I said a REALLY bad word, and I said it right out loud. Crankily, I spun around to find our assistant behind me looking concerned that something was really wrong with me. I assured her I was fine and hurried back to the library, where sure enough, my pump sat innocently next to my desk. I grabbed it and walked all the way back to my car and sped home, where Anne was sobbing for me to nurse her. I popped her into her high chair since we wanted to eat, but she was having none of it. She ate her bananas and squash, but squawked the whole time causing me to eat much more quickly than I would have liked.
After that, Mike left, so I nursed Anne and watched Tom & Jerry's Nutcracker with Hank. At 7 pm, both children were ready for bed, so I tucked them both in. Hank has been coughing, so I got out his penguin cool mist humidifier and set it all up for him. He coughed only a few times before going to sleep.
Until an hour or so later. Then, he coughed for an hour and a half. Around 10 pm, he finally fell asleep. Mike and I fell asleep shortly thereafter. Around 11 pm, Anne was up. I nursed her and got her back into her crib. She refused to go back to sleep, so we did another nursing session. Finally, she went to sleep in her crib, but by this time it was close to 1. Exhausted, I fell into bed.
By 5 am, I could hear Hank coughing again. And he coughed until 6:30, when we all got up. I found him curled under a blanket when I went to check on him.
"Honey, what hurts?"
"MY WHOLE BODY."
Thus, he's home from school today, and Anne is cranky and miserable. And poor Mike is home with both of them. I'm taking a half sick day to go home and relieve him after lunch.
Oh sigh.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Crazy day
I'm pretty exhausted. We've been having some long nights with a teething Anne, who decided the other night (when I set her down to change my *sodden* sleep shirt from her drool) that she'd like to play with her toys at 2 am rather than sleep. Mike has had some orientation sessions that he's had to go to at the college he'll be adjuncting at in the spring, and so I've had both (often cranky) children by myself in the evenings. And today I forgot to re-freeze the special ice pack that I have for my pump cooler, so I have reduced myself to chilling the milk I pumped today in the *work refrigerator out in the common break room*. I tucked it as far back as I could, but it's right behind someone's yogurt, I feel really bad.
Some days are just like this, I suppose.
Some days are just like this, I suppose.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The foibles of nursing mothers
I won't belabor, but I figured enough women out there would relate to this that I'd dedicate a short post to it. That's what this blog is all about. :) Serving up Too Much Information on a regular basis...
Anyway, today's installment is devoted to my undergarments. You see, when I nursed Henry (for over a year) I had a major problem with clogged milk ducts. Nothing makes you feel like a dairy cow more than thinking about ones "milk ducts", believe me. It's very unpleasant, and it HURTS like a very, very bad word. You get a very tender, hard spot and nothing relieves it except for the baby nursing and clearing it. I had *dozens* of clogged ducts when nursing Henry, and the pump only cleared them 1 time. The others, I had to wait it out until I got home to nurse him.
At first I thought it was related to my milk supply changing when I returned to work after delivering Henry (and consequently pumping), but eventually the lactation consultant I met with told me that it was my bra. You see, I am very uncomfortable wearing a bra with no underwire. Let's just say that I'm not the most endowed of all women, and that I like a little liftage support, ok? B cup bras just look ridiculous with no underwire.
And so I was wearing nursing bras with underwires. The lactation consultant tsked me with a furrowed brow. Apparently underwire can cause clogged ducts, and I had to replace my nursing bras right away.
As if I didn't already *hate* nursing bras. I do, I really hate them. I'm going to just say it: they're ugly. Just because we're nursing a baby doesn't mean we want to feel unappealing and undesirable. I really think Victoria's Secret needs to make nursing bras. Maybe we'd like our husbands to think of something other than the functional aspect of that part of our anatomy when they look at us, kwim?
So anyway, I crankily bought 2 nursing bras sans underwire, one nude and one black, and although they fit well, I still hated them. AND the clogged ducts persisted, although not quite as frequently. It was a real problem until I weaned Henry.
Now, with Anne, everything is totally different. 5 months and nary a clog to behold. So, I got complacent.
Yesterday, I wore a regular bra. Sweet, sweet regular bra! My nursing bras just have such thick straps that they're always showing and I couldn't take it anymore. In my regular bra, I had nice thin straps that stayed inside my shirt, I didn't have to worry about my (sorry, I have to say it) nipples showing through without those shifty little breast pads stuffed in there, I had just 2 dainty hooks to worry about in the back, and the whole shebang was attractive and delicate. I just figured I'd arrange it craftily when I went to pump, no worries.
Until the later part of the afternoon. After I pumped for the second time, I ran to the ATM to get some cash. My arm bumped against my side when I walked, and I thought,
"Ouch. Gee, that hurt."
I was in denial, so I let it go. Suddenly, I noticed that that side hurt even when nothing was touching it.
"Gosh, something sure feels tender on that side."
Pretty soon I was discreetly trying to feel myself up as I walked.
"Crap."
The verdict was in. I had a clogged duct. No more regular bras for me. :(
I had to suffer until I got both kids home whereupon I nursed Anne immediately on that side. The clog was gone in minutes.
So I think I have to break down and spend yet more money on something I hate, but it has to be done. I see that Walmart.com has some for a cheap price. *frowny face* The ones I have just aren't working. I want something less conspicuous (thinner straps) and it would be nice if they had actual cups that aren't paper thin. Does anybody have any recommendations that won't cost a fortune?
Anyway, today's installment is devoted to my undergarments. You see, when I nursed Henry (for over a year) I had a major problem with clogged milk ducts. Nothing makes you feel like a dairy cow more than thinking about ones "milk ducts", believe me. It's very unpleasant, and it HURTS like a very, very bad word. You get a very tender, hard spot and nothing relieves it except for the baby nursing and clearing it. I had *dozens* of clogged ducts when nursing Henry, and the pump only cleared them 1 time. The others, I had to wait it out until I got home to nurse him.
At first I thought it was related to my milk supply changing when I returned to work after delivering Henry (and consequently pumping), but eventually the lactation consultant I met with told me that it was my bra. You see, I am very uncomfortable wearing a bra with no underwire. Let's just say that I'm not the most endowed of all women, and that I like a little liftage support, ok? B cup bras just look ridiculous with no underwire.
And so I was wearing nursing bras with underwires. The lactation consultant tsked me with a furrowed brow. Apparently underwire can cause clogged ducts, and I had to replace my nursing bras right away.
As if I didn't already *hate* nursing bras. I do, I really hate them. I'm going to just say it: they're ugly. Just because we're nursing a baby doesn't mean we want to feel unappealing and undesirable. I really think Victoria's Secret needs to make nursing bras. Maybe we'd like our husbands to think of something other than the functional aspect of that part of our anatomy when they look at us, kwim?
So anyway, I crankily bought 2 nursing bras sans underwire, one nude and one black, and although they fit well, I still hated them. AND the clogged ducts persisted, although not quite as frequently. It was a real problem until I weaned Henry.
Now, with Anne, everything is totally different. 5 months and nary a clog to behold. So, I got complacent.
Yesterday, I wore a regular bra. Sweet, sweet regular bra! My nursing bras just have such thick straps that they're always showing and I couldn't take it anymore. In my regular bra, I had nice thin straps that stayed inside my shirt, I didn't have to worry about my (sorry, I have to say it) nipples showing through without those shifty little breast pads stuffed in there, I had just 2 dainty hooks to worry about in the back, and the whole shebang was attractive and delicate. I just figured I'd arrange it craftily when I went to pump, no worries.
Until the later part of the afternoon. After I pumped for the second time, I ran to the ATM to get some cash. My arm bumped against my side when I walked, and I thought,
"Ouch. Gee, that hurt."
I was in denial, so I let it go. Suddenly, I noticed that that side hurt even when nothing was touching it.
"Gosh, something sure feels tender on that side."
Pretty soon I was discreetly trying to feel myself up as I walked.
"Crap."
The verdict was in. I had a clogged duct. No more regular bras for me. :(
I had to suffer until I got both kids home whereupon I nursed Anne immediately on that side. The clog was gone in minutes.
So I think I have to break down and spend yet more money on something I hate, but it has to be done. I see that Walmart.com has some for a cheap price. *frowny face* The ones I have just aren't working. I want something less conspicuous (thinner straps) and it would be nice if they had actual cups that aren't paper thin. Does anybody have any recommendations that won't cost a fortune?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A sign that I really do need more sleep...
Even though sleep has slightly improved in our house (emphasis on the *slightly*) I'm even more tired than usual. I think it's that my body has once again gotten a taste for what it feels like to get actual rest and is now demanding even more. Yesterday in particular I was really dragging.
Around 10:15 am I was already starting to feel frantic. I had a reference shift at 11 am, and I needed to pump, have a bite to eat and get myself ready to be over in another building at the reference desk.
I was fielding a few phone calls and so set my breastpump up since I didn't want to run out of time. Once I got off the phone, I hooked myself up and started the milk flowing. I don't usually eat when I pump (that just seems odd to me somehow) but I was desperate yesterday, so I had a snack while I pumped. Otherwise I get really hungry by the end of the reference shift.
Finally, my milk was exhausted so I shut the pump off. I start to hurriedly unhook myself and glance up. What do I see?
My office door.
It's open.
Now granted, it wasn't OPEN! It was closed, but it was not fully shut and locked. It was ajar. And that means that an overzealous student could open it fully after an abbreviated knock, which is not out of the realm of possibilities. I could have died right then and there.
I unhooked my tubing and hustled over to shut it and lock it. In all of my years of pumping, I've never done that. I'm usually much more self aware than this.
It was mortifying.
Around 10:15 am I was already starting to feel frantic. I had a reference shift at 11 am, and I needed to pump, have a bite to eat and get myself ready to be over in another building at the reference desk.
I was fielding a few phone calls and so set my breastpump up since I didn't want to run out of time. Once I got off the phone, I hooked myself up and started the milk flowing. I don't usually eat when I pump (that just seems odd to me somehow) but I was desperate yesterday, so I had a snack while I pumped. Otherwise I get really hungry by the end of the reference shift.
Finally, my milk was exhausted so I shut the pump off. I start to hurriedly unhook myself and glance up. What do I see?
My office door.
It's open.
Now granted, it wasn't OPEN! It was closed, but it was not fully shut and locked. It was ajar. And that means that an overzealous student could open it fully after an abbreviated knock, which is not out of the realm of possibilities. I could have died right then and there.I unhooked my tubing and hustled over to shut it and lock it. In all of my years of pumping, I've never done that. I'm usually much more self aware than this.
It was mortifying.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Nursing under the cover of darkness
Not so long ago, I wrote a post about a trip to Babies R Us with my mom in which I scoffed at nursing covers as ridiculous and completely unnecessary. Well, sometimes a dose of humility smacks you right in the face. :)
For whatever reason, Anne completely detests nursing under a blanket. She wriggles and tries to bat it off. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to even bare my breast under the thing, holding on to it with my teeth. Getting her latched is yet another production. When she inevitably delatches and needs to burp immediately lest she explode, I've nearly flashed the whole room at least a dozen times.
So eventually, I just started pumping and bringing bottles with me whenever I was going to be with the baby in public. It's just so much easier, and my pump is awesome. (Medela Pump in Style Original, for the record).
In the mean time, my mom ordered me something called an Udder Cover. I scoffed at first, yes I did. It was backordered for a while, so didn't arrive until this week. I tried it today, and I have to say, I'm now a believer.
It's very simple, and those of you with sewing skills (I'm thinking of a few of you in particular :) ) will be able to make one of these lickety split. It's just a pretty piece of fabric that extends from your neck to about your waist, and is nice and wide. It's a light cotton, so not all hot like most baby blankets. The little piece that goes around your neck has one of those metal clasps that you can adjust, you don't have to tie it. Thus, you can get it in a spot you like and then leave it, slipping it quickly over your head when you need to use it. The collar has some kind of thin rigid thing in it, so that you can peek down and look at the baby whenever you need to. Baby delatches? Mine does, constantly. You can relatch them without having to perform a physical act of acrobatic proportions.
And that's it! But the beauty of it is that you can pop it on, and then discreetly pull down your top and nursing bra, and *then* get the baby underneath to latch; you have both of your hands free to work with and you are covered the whole time. I tried it out today while my dad was in the room and it worked like a dream.
I now sheepishly revoke my scorn of all nursing covers. This one is particularly nice. I can't remember the one I tried in Babies R Us, but I really did hate it. The thing went to, like, my *knees* and you had to tie it in place. *purses lips* It and I did not see eye to eye.
The Udder Cover that I chose is called "Laila," and is pink and ivory. I kind of love it.
For whatever reason, Anne completely detests nursing under a blanket. She wriggles and tries to bat it off. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to even bare my breast under the thing, holding on to it with my teeth. Getting her latched is yet another production. When she inevitably delatches and needs to burp immediately lest she explode, I've nearly flashed the whole room at least a dozen times.
So eventually, I just started pumping and bringing bottles with me whenever I was going to be with the baby in public. It's just so much easier, and my pump is awesome. (Medela Pump in Style Original, for the record).
In the mean time, my mom ordered me something called an Udder Cover. I scoffed at first, yes I did. It was backordered for a while, so didn't arrive until this week. I tried it today, and I have to say, I'm now a believer.
It's very simple, and those of you with sewing skills (I'm thinking of a few of you in particular :) ) will be able to make one of these lickety split. It's just a pretty piece of fabric that extends from your neck to about your waist, and is nice and wide. It's a light cotton, so not all hot like most baby blankets. The little piece that goes around your neck has one of those metal clasps that you can adjust, you don't have to tie it. Thus, you can get it in a spot you like and then leave it, slipping it quickly over your head when you need to use it. The collar has some kind of thin rigid thing in it, so that you can peek down and look at the baby whenever you need to. Baby delatches? Mine does, constantly. You can relatch them without having to perform a physical act of acrobatic proportions.
And that's it! But the beauty of it is that you can pop it on, and then discreetly pull down your top and nursing bra, and *then* get the baby underneath to latch; you have both of your hands free to work with and you are covered the whole time. I tried it out today while my dad was in the room and it worked like a dream.
I now sheepishly revoke my scorn of all nursing covers. This one is particularly nice. I can't remember the one I tried in Babies R Us, but I really did hate it. The thing went to, like, my *knees* and you had to tie it in place. *purses lips* It and I did not see eye to eye.
The Udder Cover that I chose is called "Laila," and is pink and ivory. I kind of love it.
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