Friday, January 20, 2012

Morning discovery:

(1) Anne crawls up to me, whining.

(2) I nurse Anne.

(3) I put Anne down.

(4) Anne bursts into tears and clings to my pant leg.

(repeat this, btw, on an endless cycle daily for the past 2 weeks, including additional fun like nap refusals and waking up howling 10 minutes after we put her down for bed).

But this morning, when I gently put my finger to her top gum, I felt:

A sharp tooth edge.

PRAISE.JESUS.

Because we seriously couldn't stand it anymore. We're all exhausted.

I did think it was terribly adorable after she got her first 2 teeth (bottom center) a month or so ago when I overheard Henry sit next to her and say:

"Look at your little teeth, Anne! They're really getting taller!"

Like he needed to encourage her in her tooth growing endeavors.

Precious.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

*glares*

Work is making me grumpy today, so I'm determined to stay positive by lingering on positive things.

I've been knitting a lot lately, and currently I'm working on 2 sweaters. One is for the knit-along I'm doing at work (a red cardigan) and the other is a fabulous blue and gray winter sweater that I just cast on at home.

As well, my good friend Sarah just contacted me about her son's birthday party, and the theme is owls. You know what this means, don't you? I SIMPLY MUST KNIT HIM AN OWL SWEATER.

Well, let me edit that a bit. I looked at the calendar and realized that his birthday is in less than a month (feast of Our Lady of Lourdes) and thus I modified "Owl Sweater!" to "Owl Vest!" Vests = no sleeves = a much speedier project, and a much happier knitting Catholic Librarian. I don't want to go through the bitterness that was Christmas Knitting 2011 again. I mentally went through my stash, and realized that I have a lovely blue premium acrylic (machine washable is a must for kids knits, and this one is from Knit Picks and is heavenly soft) and his mom's favorite color is blue. Voila!

So I got that excited feeling in the pit of my stomach when I pounce upon a new craft project. I immediately navigated over to Ravelry to found a good pattern. Owls are big in knitting, because they can be easily stitched using a cable needle technique. So I found lots of adorable patterns. I really like this one. Only problem being that it's written for a baby, and I don't trust myself to correctly size up a pattern. I can try if I'm desperate, but I'd much rather have a pattern written specifically for toddler sizes.

I found one Leisure Arts booklet that has patterns for kids vests with owls, kittens, bears and bunnies, and I kind of want it really bad. I can order it online, but I figured I should swing by Jo Ann's first on my way home since they carry a ton of those Leisure Arts booklets. That way I wouldn't have to pay shipping, plus I could use a coupon. So, we'll see if it's there. I want to go right now, because I'm hating work today and would much rather hide in my happy family and craft world.

Oh sigh. Well, it's already lunch time, and the end of the work day will be here soon enough. I can listen to my happy Catholic podcasts and zip to Jo Ann on my way home, and then go home to Mike and my babies. Life is good.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

What kind of Catholic are you if you...go to *confession*?

Mike and I had an interesting discussion last night. He happened to mention to a family member (also Catholic) that he was picking up a book for me at the public library so that I had time to stop off and go to confession on my way home, since the parish where Hank goes to school has confession on Tuesday afternoons (odd, but true). He said that the family member looked quite surprised and said:

"Tiffany is going to confession? *Why would she need to do THAT?!* I don't believe in confession."

In the conversation that ensued, the family member also mentioned that she doesn't believe in papal infallibility, or the true presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

So this got me to thinking. It does seem to me that often, Catholics who regularly go to confession are viewed with suspicion:

(1) What on earth do they do so horrible that they need to confess it so often?!

Or incredulity:

(2) They go to confession? In one of those creepy little wood boxes with a priest? FREAKS.

I don't mean to imply that all people who are averse to the idea of confession are mean spirited, certainly not. But in my opinion, the sacrament of reconciliation is the least understood, by both Catholics and non-Catholics alike. And it's definitely underused.

So, as Mike and I were talking, he gave me his analysis:

"I told her that you shouldn't be a Catholic just because that's what you've always done. If you don't believe in the major tenets of the faith, it's not right to call yourself a Catholic and badmouth it's main beliefs. She should realize what I've thought she was for a long time now: an Episcopalian."

I had to laugh at that. :) I mean, I appreciate what he's saying. You should align yourself with a religious faith because you believe it to be the truth and take pride in it. Your faith should be your own and not simply something you call yourself because you never really thought too deeply about it. And if you feel very strongly that you cannot accept certain teachings of that church, maybe a different worship community is right for you.

But on the other hand...what about healthy doubt? We're not all robots without minds of our own to think things through and analyze them. And what if you're struggling with a particular teaching, but you continue to study and to pray about it? Certainly, there's a place for you in the Church. I wouldn't want it any other way. But where does that line come into play that a person, via their words and actions, actually disengages themselves from the Church? This family member attends Mass every Sunday. That to me says that she feels strongly about her Catholic identity.

So...what makes a person a Catholic? It certainly isn't up to me to decide the answer to this question, but I think it's interesting to ponder. I certainly don't like conversations that deteriorate into what makes a person a "good" or a "bad" Catholic. None of us is perfect, and all one can ever do is try their best to live out the faith and be a good example.

Confession was awesome, by the way. And this parish actually had *2* priests hearing confessions, practically unheard of nowadays. And a decent number of people came and went. I always feel so good after I go to confession. It can be intimidating, but it certainly is cleansing.

Food for thought. :)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"Mommy, church is boring, I don't want to go."

So, I wondered if this would happen one day, and that day is upon us. Henry has been giving me a tough time lately about going to church. He's gotten rather whiny about the whole thing, and I've had to really prod him along to get dressed and out the door to go to Mass.

Luckily, even though my husband doesn't often accompany us to Mass, he supports me in all that my Catholicism entails, including raising our children Catholic. He never undermines my efforts with Henry and questions why Henry should have to go. He simply comes over, tells Henry that it's time for church, and helps him on with his coat. And for that, I'm very grateful.

But the whole thing has gotten me to thinking. My job is even tougher because my husband and I can't do things together to encourage our children in the faith. That job lies with me. And of course, I worry (because I do that so very well): am I a bad Catholic mother? What am I doing wrong?

I send my son to Catholic school, plus I've *always* taken him to Mass. I've introduced him to traditions that he enjoys such as lighting votive candles, using holy water to bless himself and making the sign of the cross, using an Advent wreath and Advent calendar, and Lenten activities. When he was younger we always read out of his children's Bible and now he's very familiar with some key passages. I taught him his basic prayers, but I know I should be better about praying with him regularly. I just get tied up at bedtime with the baby and so Mike handles getting Henry into bed.

So, the nitty gritty. What can I do to make church less "boring" for him? I sympathize, because when I was a child I thought Mass was boring too. And I felt like my mom "made" me go, and I don't want my kids to feel that way. Maybe it's inevitable no matter what, I don't know. Because I am going to "make them go" while they are living in my house. However, I want them to feel a bond to their faith and make it their own, and thus feel a healthy curiosity about it and enjoy it. So, what can I do?

I try to explain things about the Mass to him when they come up. We light candles after Mass whenever he asks. This past Sunday I was desperate and so grabbed an illustrated children's book of the saints that Anne had in her Christmas stocking (one of the featured saints is St. Anne) and that lured him out the door. And he actually loved it. It's this one and it's quite nice. He seemed quite taken with St. Joan of Ark and St. Michael, and looked through the pictures for most of Mass. As long as it's spiritual reading, I don't mind him having books at Mass. I also ordered him a sample copy of Magnifikid to see if that will help. It's $35 a year I believe for a subscription, and I wanted to make sure he'd use it before committing to a full subscription. I ordered myself a sample copy of Magnificat for good measure. I used to subscribe, and liked it, but after a time I found that I didn't use it to its full potential and I couldn't justify paying the $40 annual subscription price anymore. I thought maybe I was ready to try it again. But I digress.

So, we'll see what becomes of these ideas. I keep telling him that one hour per week to give to God is the least we can do for all that He does for us, but that doesn't seem to be enthusing him at all. If anybody else has any ideas, have at it, I'm all ears. :)

Friday, January 13, 2012

Feeling grateful for my blessings, and it finally looks like a real Northeastern winter

We have had a *very* mild winter this year, and Mike and I were actually commiserating about how much we miss the snow! Well, God answered our prayer. :) Today we have a good old fashioned lake effect snow storm swirling about. I'm at work, but I'm dying to get home and be with Mike and my babies. I have dance on Friday nights, but I'm wondering if it will be canceled. If so, I'm looking forward to knitting and sipping a hot beverage later with Mike.

And all week, as I've been dealing with some little worries that have popped up, I've been thinking about how grateful I am for the wonderful blessings that I have in my life. I have such a beautiful family. To say that our adjustment to parenting baby #2 is going smoother than the first time around would be the understatement of the century. Of course, I felt honored to be Hank's mom all along. But this time, everything is just a joy, with both children. That adjustment to baby #1 was very, very tough for both Mike and I. Now, I keep dropping hints about Baby CL #3, and Mike keeps giving me panicked looks :) (because Anne is still quite little) but to even contemplate such a thing makes me so, so happy. I'm just so grateful for my family and for the future that we have together.

Speaking of good things, we're all loving Henry's Catholic school. I really feel like Mike's positive reaction to it is nothing but God's grace. Not that he was ever opposed to Catholic school, he was just indifferent to it since the public school costs nothing but our tax dollars. Now, we're paying both school tax AND Catholic school tuition, but we're both so thrilled with what we're seeing in Henry and our own interaction with the school.

I will say one thing that is very different that one has to get used to in Catholic schools: fundraising! Holy smokes. At all Catholic schools in this area, you have a fundraising obligation in addition to your tuition. If you don't meet the goal via specified fundraisers, you have to pay out the balance. In addition to that, the school is always offering things for sale to benefit its overall financial viability: Entertainment Books, Christmas wreaths, calendars, candy bars, the list goes on and on. I don't mind it, but it is certainly very different from my public school world.

I do like feeling like I'm contributing to the school's future. I think that in the past, people who belonged to a parish with a school felt much more "obliged" (if you will) to send their kids to the school for them to receive a Catholic education. Nowadays, that really isn't the case. Times are hard for everyone right now (especially in this area) and people are trying to save money. They may not feel like it's worth it to pay tuition when they could send their kids to the public school for nothing. Plus, there are just so many less regular Mass goers than ever before, so people don't feel connected to a parish in any way. Thus, I feel good that I'm supporting our local Catholic school.

That being said, anybody need any Easter chocolate? If so, send me a quick message. :)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

STRESSED

I feel like I have a lot on my mind today. I tend to take on the worries in the lives of those that I love and make them my own. Worrying is a bit of an aerobic activity for me. So I'm doing that. Plus I always worry about money in January, it's an annual tradition. It's nothing dire, but all the same, we do live on a budget, and Christmas is a challenge each year. It's going to get a little easier coming up here (Mike has started teaching his spring courses, and I'm up for tenure), but in the mean time, I worry.

I've been praying my rosary more often, and you know, it really does help. I just feel calmer and more content when I do that. Last night when I got home from work, I had a *very* nice and stress free evening with Mike and the kids, which is exactly what I needed. It's not that my evenings are usually stress inducing, but Anne has been crank central lately and there's often lots of chaos in our evenings with Hank bouncing off the walls and the baby sobbing. Last night everything went extra smoothly.

Granted, we're not getting as much sleep as we need. I will say that with baby #2, (I had typed #3 and had to go back and correct, Freudian? :) ) Mike and I are both a LOT easier going with the sleep deprivation. When Anne inevitably wakes up just as we've fallen asleep, we just bring her in bed with us and go right back to sleep. If she refuses to go to sleep in the middle of the night, I just bring her down on the couch to cuddle and watch The Golden Girls until she's calmed down and dozing back off. Truly, it has to be grace. And parenting experience.

St. Anne Novena, Day 9

DAILY PRAYER TO SAINT ANN

O glorious St. Ann, you are filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer! Heavily burdened with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at your feet and humbly beg of you to take the present intention which I recommend to you in your special care.

Please recommend it to your daughter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and place it before the throne of Jesus, so that He may bring it to a happy issue. Continue to intercede for me until my request is granted. But, above all, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity. Amen.

Our Father, . . . Hail Mary . . .

O Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Ann, help me now and at the hour of my death.

Good St. Ann, intercede for me.

NINTH DAY

Good St. Ann, I have reached the end of this novena in your honor. I have asked and ask again. Good mother, let not your kind ear grow weary of my prayers, though I repeat them so often.

Bounteous Lady, implore for me from divine Providence all the help I need through life. May your generous hand bestow on me the material means to satisfy my own needs and to alleviate the plight of the poor.

Good St. Ann, fortify me by the sacraments of the Church at the hour of my death. Admit me into the company of the blessed in the kingdom of heaven, where I may praise and thank the adorable Trinity, your grandson Christ Jesus, your glorious daughter Mary, and yourself, dear St. Ann, through endless ages.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

St. Anne Novena, Day 8

DAILY PRAYER TO SAINT ANN

O glorious St. Ann, you are filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer! Heavily burdened with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at your feet and humbly beg of you to take the present intention which I recommend to you in your special care.

Please recommend it to your daughter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and place it before the throne of Jesus, so that He may bring it to a happy issue. Continue to intercede for me until my request is granted. But, above all, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity. Amen.

Our Father, . . . Hail Mary . . .

O Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Ann, help me now and at the hour of my death.

Good St. Ann, intercede for me.

EIGHTH DAY

Hail, St. Ann! I rejoice at your exalted glory. You gave birth to Mary, whose divine Son brought salvation to our lost world by conquering death and restoring life and hope to sinners. Pray to Him who, for love of us, clothed Himself with human flesh in the chaste womb of your daughter.

Glorious St. Ann, with your blessed daughter, deliver me from everything that is displeasing in the sight of God. Pray to your gentle and powerful Grandson that He may cleanse my soul in His precious blood, that He may send His Holy Spirit to enlighten and direct me in all that I do, always obedient to His holy inspirations.

Good mother, keep a watchful eye on me. Help me bear all my crosses. Give me the fullness of your bounty and sustain me with courage.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Knit-along!

This winter, my knitting group and I have embarked on our very first knit-along. I mean, how adorable is that?!

I *love* the idea of a knit-along or a crochet-along. A group, either in person or virtually, works on the same item and uses each other for support and help. We decided to make the February Lady Sweater, and this is a free pattern for anyone with a Ravelry account (also free).

So far, this has been super, super fun. We each chose to make our sweater in different colors and textures, and it's interesting to see how all the sweaters are turning out. I suggested that we incorporate 2 knit-alongs per year, winter and summer, and so for the summer we're talking about making the quite infamous Clapotis. How you actually pronounce that garment is anybody's guess, but I'm excited about it all the same.

I've been trying to be more adventurous in my crafting, and so far so good. I've successfully:

(a) felted, and

(b) made a sweater that I can actually wear without exposing any body parts I'd rather not expose.

These were 2 new things to me as of this past year. This year I will try to keep going in this endeavor. Steeking, anybody? This means instead of leaving an opening or armhole in a sweater, you just cut one when you're done. With scissors. I think that if I actually do this I may need to document everything for this blog and drink several shots of whiskey beforehand.

Here's a few of my recent creations. New socks for myself:

Adorable felted handbags for my sisters, I was especially pleased with these:

Felted slippers for myself:

And the market bag that I made for my Secret Crafty Santa recipient:


Good stuff. :)

St. Anne Novena, Day 7

DAILY PRAYER TO SAINT ANN

O glorious St. Ann, you are filled with compassion for those who invoke you and with love for those who suffer! Heavily burdened with the weight of my troubles, I cast myself at your feet and humbly beg of you to take the present intention which I recommend to you in your special care.

Please recommend it to your daughter, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and place it before the throne of Jesus, so that He may bring it to a happy issue. Continue to intercede for me until my request is granted. But, above all, obtain for me the grace one day to see my God face to face, and with you and Mary and all the saints to praise and bless Him for all eternity. Amen.

Our Father, . . . Hail Mary . . .

O Jesus, Holy Mary, St. Ann, help me now and at the hour of my death.

Good St. Ann, intercede for me.

SEVENTH DAY

Once again, Good St. Ann, I choose you for my advocate before the throne of God. By the power and grace that God has placed in you, extend to me your helping hand. Renew my mind and my heart.

Dear St. Ann, I have unbounded confidence in your prayers. To your blessed hands I entrust my soul, my body and all my hopes for this world and the next. Direct my actions according to your goodness and wisdom. I place myself under your motherly care.

Receive me, good mother. Cover me with the mantle of your love. Look kindly on me. By your powerful intercession, may I obtain from God grace and mercy. Obtain for me remission for sin and release from the punishment my offenses have deserved. Pray that I may receive grace to lead a devout life on earth and that I may obtain the everlasting reward of heaven.