I'm back, safe and sound...

Ok, I have a bit of a phobia about flying, and I haven't done so in many years. This, as you may suspect, is a bad combination. It makes the fear percolate and spread, like a fungus. Thus, on Thursday, I had a difficult time preparing for my trip. I told everybody that I loved them before I left, just in case, you know, I didn't make it back. I'm nuts like that.

I also just HATE traveling by air. The extra time you have to leave for airport hassle, not knowing what will happen to my poor beleaguered suitcase when it's out of my possession, the juggling act (that is the most charitable way that I can describe it) that is now the security checkpoint, the delays, the squishyness that is seating space on the airplane, having to travel hundreds of miles out of your way due to connections where you're then delayed even further, praying that your luggage makes it to your destination, all that good stuff.

Bear with me while I insert a quick factoid:

Travel time by car from my house in western New York to my sister's home in southern Maine - 10 hours.

Travel time by air from the time I leave my house for the airport to arriving at my sister's door in southern Maine - 9 hours.

I'm just saying.

The reason for this craziness is twofold: (1) there is of course no direct flight from me to Portland, Maine. We had to fly to Baltimore first. (2) my dad has tons of free tickets on Southwest (he's a business traveler) and Southwest doesn't yet fly into Portland, Maine. We had to fly into Manchester, New Hampshire and then drive 2 hours to my sister's house. This sucked. But the ticket was free, so how can I complain?

But the bottom line is that unless I'm going to Europe (or MAYBE Hawaii and Alaska; actually, I'm just crazy enough to want to drive to Alaska), I want to travel by car. You can leave when you want, stop when you want, eat and drink what you want, pack what you want, and not have to have someone frisk you. But I digress.

I will say that Southwest is very good. You don't have to pay to check a bag, they solidly have their act together with loading and unloading the plane, and they really try to be pleasant and stay on schedule. Their flights are all full, and I'm glad that their business is good. Although, perhaps they're trying to distract us from the fact that I SWEAR that there is even LESS space on the airplanes than there used to be. Did they add seats but yet not expand the airplane? It seems that way, but what do I know.

Anyway, two things make the travel bearable:

(1) Company. My parents traveled with me, and I was glad to have someone to talk to. It's soothing.

(2) Alcohol. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE?! My dad had drink coupons.

*angels sing*

Although, seriously, even for $5, people THIS IS SO WORTH IT. I assumed I would get just one of those teeny tiny bottles, but instead I got a full glass of Chardonnay.

*bliss*

Next thing you knew, I was chatting up a storm and feeling relaxed. Relaxed on an airplane? MAGIC.

The flights were actually pretty painless. 50 minutes to Baltimore, and then 1 hour to Manchester. The suckfest began with the rental car and the drive north to Portland. Ugh. By the time we got in, it was midnight, and I was exhausted. A cruel, cruel reality is that I get motion sickness and cannot read or knit in the car.

Anyway, I glimpsed the babies before we all collapsed into our beds, but they were sleeping so I didn't get nearly the baby time that I wanted.

The next morning, I was up early, bright eyed and bushy tailed, putting on makeup in the guest bathroom, a cat by my side, waiting for any sign of noise to come from my sister and brother-in-law's bedroom.

*click*

BAM! I'm at the door.

"HAND HIM OVER."

There commenced 2.5 days of near constant baby snuggling.

There was always a baby needing to be held, changed, fed, or soothed, which was just fine with me.

The baptism was Saturday, and it was lovely. I just LOVE the affirmation of our baptismal promises and the tenets of the Nicene Creed in the ritual:

"This is our faith. This is the faith of the Church. We are proud to profess it, in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Andrew is my third Godchild. I'm also Godmother to my nephew Nathaniel, who made his First Communion about a year and a half ago, my good friend Irena, who was a full catechumen at the Easter Vigil 2011 when I was 8 months pregnant with Anne and who converted from atheism, and now Andrew. I was also confirmation sponsor for Shauna'h, his mother. It's a very nice Catholic tradition that we have going on. I feel privileged to be their Godmother.

Our family are the last Catholics on my mom's side. My grandparents and aunt and uncles on that side are all devout Christians, but are no longer Catholic.  My dad's side though, has *more* Catholics now than in the past. I am doing my best to pass the faith on to my children and I pray that they do the same.

During the ceremony, the deacon did a lovely job. There were 2 other babies being baptized, and he asked everybody why they chose the names that they did for their child (all had at least 1 Catholic saint name) and asked about their baptismal garments. My nephew Will was wearing a gown that was over 80 years old, handmade by my brother-in-law's grandmother. Babies in the family have worn that gown in each generation since. Another of the babies was wearing an heirloom gown as well.

It all made me reflect on the history of our faith and how it's just as perilous now (when we're not being persecuted and beheaded, all that happy stuff :)) to pass on the faith as it's ever been. Today, it seems as if our enemy is indifference. I hope that I instill in my children and Godchildren how precious and special our faith is, and how we need to hold on to it firmly and passionately.

I very much enjoyed my trip, and the travel back was less bad. I was anxious to get home to my babies. Anne seems to have grown at least a foot since I last saw her, and is talking more than ever. As ever, she's extremely sassy and appears to be once again (please let this be over soon!) getting a new tooth. She HAS to be almost done; it would be inhuman otherwise.

A quick sampling of her new vocabulary:

(1) "Mine!" - Something that is most certainly NOT hers, but that she would like to be.

(2) "No no no!" - Self explanatory.

(3) "Ball!" - The child loves balls. This includes the giant red Target "dots" that they have outside the stores which I'm pretty sure are made of concrete and weigh as much as a herd of elephants. But yet, this explanation fails every.single.time when she sobs that we can't take the "ball" home with us in our car. Sigh.

I'm off the rest of the week, so no blogging for another short stretch. I will return on Monday with Thanksgiving and Black Friday tales. That is Cyber Monday, and is a big yarn sale day for me, so prepare for yarn talk. I actually dreamt of yarn the other day. It was all very cat-like.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Still aglow from the baptism, and crafting begins anew

I woke up perky this morning, which is always a nice thing. Last night while up nursing Anne, I was thinking about the baptism again. Part of the rite is the parents and godparents renewal of their own baptismal promises, and an affirmation of the profession of faith (the Nicene Creed). After this is completed, the priest recites:

"This is our faith. This is the faith of the Church. We are proud to profess it, in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I just really love that. It's all so very simple. We affirm a simple statement, and THAT is our faith. It all boils down to that.

So, I've been feeling more peaceful. I also picked up my knitting bag again for the first time in well over a month. Obviously, I don't have my hands free much these days to be knitting. But Hank's last day of school is next week, and I really wanted to make something handmade for his teachers. I won't have time to knit the school themed cloths I originally had in mind for them, but then I remembered a real good weapon in my crafting arsenal:

I love these discloths. They are *beautiful* and since they are crocheted, can be whipped up in no time. This booklet is available for electronic download from the Annie's Attic website, and it's very reasonably priced, fyi. So I'm going to embark. I'm excited, although I know it's still an ambitious plan with a newborn in tow. We'll see how it goes. But things like this, my crocheting/knitting and my dancing, are what really make my creative juices flow. It's good for me. :) I got my cotton yarn out yesterday and my hooks ready. I'm hoping to start on them today. It feels good to feel like the old Tiffany again. :)

Anne's baptism

Well, this Pentecost Sunday brought me much joy, and it was received with a great deal of relief, after a long couple of days (and nights :) ).

I was a little anxious, as I always am about any kind of public event. But the day dawned cool and crisp, which was actually a relief since our house lacks central air conditioning and we were having people over after the ceremony. Hank and I attended Mass in the morning, and then we readied for the early afternoon baptism.

I really couldn't have asked for it to go better. There was only one other baby being baptized at the same time, so the church felt cozy and intimate, especially with the cooler weather prevailing outside. The rite of baptism itself was so beautiful that I actually teared up (*postpartum hormones rage*). The deacon read the gospel about when Jesus asked for the children to be brought to him without reservation. He told us that this passage reflects how God sees us: as little children, his children. And the love that we have for our children is a small way in which we can try to grasp how much God loves us. That just made such an impression on me. No matter how challenging things may be right now, and how great I perceive my faults as a parent, God loves me still unconditionally, just as I love my own children. I just felt so much better after he said that.

The rest of the day I just felt lighter, and I enjoyed visiting with family after the baptism. What a blessing.

And so I go forward, spit up perpetually on my clothes, and smelling like vomit, :) but offering it up for a myriad of difficult intentions. Because that is what God, in my vocation, calls me to do. And while I don't always do it with joy (because I am human, after all) I can do it with great love.

Acceptance

This will be my last "whine" post, since it's easy to get yourself down when talking about such things. We've had a week of long nights, but tis par for the course with a 3 week old. I've been reading lots of infant sleep books from the library while I'm nursing Anne, and the consensus is that there is pretty much nothing you can do to make a newborn sleep longer. They either will or won't, but things will improve by around 12 weeks. They may even slightly improve around 6-8 weeks, but certainly by 12-16 weeks. So, we can hang in there that long. And accepting that this is the way things are going to be is easier than constantly longing for something that I cannot have right now, which is a night of full or limited interruption sleep.

It's tough, because sometimes I think that Anne is actually *fussier* than Henry was, who was a *very* fussy baby. That seems monumentally unfair to me, but whoever said life was fair? Mike and I just don't seem to breed these calm and miraculous long sleeping infants. But all newborns are fussy in the evenings, so it's just one of those things.

I'm just trying to get through the days and nights right now, and honestly, it's not going that bad. I have Mike here to help me, thank God, and we're already over 3 weeks in. I return to dance 3 weeks from today, and I have lots to look forward to.

In other news, Anne's baptism is this Sunday, and I'm very much excited about that. I will post a picture on Monday. :)

All prepared for baptism...

Last night, Mike and I attended our parish's required baptism class for Baby CL. The deacon at our parish runs it, and he's super nice, so I wasn't dreading it at all. But I was apprehensive about Mike's reaction, since if it weren't for me, this is not something he would be doing. But he supports me in sacramental preparation for our kids, so I knew it would be ok. We were also married in the Church, which he genuinely enjoyed.

So, we arrive, and find 2 other families there. Both already had born children, I was the only pregnant one there. :) I guess I'm in the minority in my opinion on this one. I would love to schedule the baptism right now, but it's a no go at our parish until Baby CL actually makes their arrival. They'll do it any weekend, so that won't be a problem. I want it sometime in June or July.

Anyway, it was all very low key. The deacon just asked us all some questions about why we wanted our child baptized, and what baptism is. I gave my glowing answer *halo*, but then the deacon also asked Mike why he wanted our children baptized. Mike provided a very kind answer about how he's not a Catholic (technically he is, which he also explained; he's fully initiated with his sacraments, he just doesn't currently believe) but he thinks that baptism is good for our children because it provides them with a faith community that they may choose to remain in as adults and I will provide a good example for them in living out the faith. I was pleased with his response, as was the deacon. :)

One thing I really appreciate about Mike's spiritual outlook is that he's honest in his lack of faith, and about what it would mean for him to return; he truly believes that if you call yourself a Catholic, you should really be a *Catholic* and believe in and engage in all of the teachings of the Church. No Cafeteria Catholicism in our family. :) I really do love that about him. And one thing that is crucial in any interfaith marriage in my opinion ("sort of interfaith" in our situation) is that the other party agrees to marry in the Church (or be properly dispensed) and raise the children Catholic. It's a deal breaker for me otherwise. And the deacon in fact asked Mike if he opposed the baptism, and he answered a firm "NO, not at all." One of the other couples there was also interfaith; the husband was Pentecostal.

Anyway, it was all very interesting and touchy-feely. When the deacon asked me who the central actor in a baptism was, I answered, "Christ," and when Mike was asked, he responded "Believe it or not, that's exactly what I was going to say." He's very cute. :)

We finished up in 45 minutes, and we both agreed that the evening was very pleasant. I just need to get a sponsor letter from my older sister, who will be Godmother, and then schedule the big event post-delivery.

Our parish has a really nice parish center that our class was held in. It was actually a school until last year. Sadly, after being in business for over 100 years, the school closed to due low enrollment. The issue in our area isn't lack of interest in Catholic education (although financial strain certainly plays a part) but the sheer volume of competing Catholic schools. In our small township alone, there were *5* Catholic k-8 schools. There are also 2 Catholic high schools. Last year, 2 were closed, leaving 3 k-8 schools, including the one Hank will attend next year. In the immediately surrounding towns, all within a 5-10 minute driving distance, are 4 others, used to be 5 but 1 closed. Within 20 minutes of driving, you can add at least 3 more, including multiple single-sex and co-ed high schools. It's kind of crazy. But a good kind of crazy. :)

Anyway, our parish was one of the casualties in terms of its school, so now the building is used for their thriving religious education program, as well as a food pantry, numerous parish offices, an in-progress adoration chapel, and space for Vacation Bible School in the summer and a fish fry fundraiser during Lent. It's very nice. I noticed a bunch of other people going in with us who weren't infant baptism bound. It was the RCIA candidates, and we learned that aside from our 3 adult RCIA members, there are also several older children who will be baptized at the Easter Vigil this year. It was wonderful to see.

Rescheduled baptism class, and I can't get my bladder off my mind...

So, when I returned to my desk from a marathon meeting yesterday, I had a voicemail from Mike. The deacon running our baptism class had called to ask if it was ok if we moved our meeting from 7 pm to 7:45, since a doctors appointment had come up for his wife. In the back of my mind, I seemed to remember my mom having a commitment after she watched Henry for us, and upon a quick reconnaissance mission, my suspicions were confirmed. My mom had an appointment to have her hair colored at 8:30 pm (0dd, but true) and so the moved back time wouldn't leave her enough time to get back for that. Bummer. It's so much harder when you already have one child at home; much more difficult to be spontaneous. :)

So, our baptism class is now in mid-March. No big deal, since we still have enough time before the baby is born.

Speaking of the baby, I'm now at THAT part of my pregnancy. You know. I eat lunch, use the ladies room, set off for my quick daily walk, and halfway through feel the overwhelming need to use the ladies room strikes AGAIN. *sighs* I stop, use the facilities, and find that the amount produced was not even worth the time it took to scamper out of my way into the bathroom and remove the necessary items of clothing. How can that little trickle carry such a wallop? I always think of the pregnant character of Margie in Fargo:

"Mind if I have a seat? I'm carryin' quite a load over here."

We'll get there. The baby is starting to get really big; I'm starting to feel actual body parts in there when he/she moves around. I can't wait to see their little face for the first time.

Busy day...

It's never a good start to the day when I wake up, heft myself over, and glance at the clock to see that the first number starts with a "7". That's very, very bad. So, it was one of those rushed mornings. Despite "sleeping in" I feel tired and sluggish. Luckily, Mike walks Hank to and from school on Wednesdays, so that saves me time in the morning.

Speaking of "hefting", I can feel the tentacles of the third trimester creeping in to try and wrench me from my pleasant and comfortable second trimester zone. Sleeping isn't horrible right now, but I am starting to see the beginnings of the Wall of Discomfort trickling into my life evvveeerrr so insidiously slowly. I can only sleep on my sides, and getting from one side to the other is getting increasingly challenging. My sciatica is beginning to kick in a bit more, and I'm starting to feel just the wee-est bit awkward in my gait and appearance. This is what I have been dreading since Mike and I first started talking about having a second child. The good news is that now that it's here, I can put it behind me all the quicker. 13.5 weeks to go! That's really not that long. Plus, I know how great it feels to deliver and suddenly have 20 + less pounds on your frame overnight, and how wonderful it is to see baby for the first time. I'm trying to keep it all in good perspective this time.

Tonight, we have our baptism preparation class, and I'm actually looking forward to it. The deacon that runs it knows Hank and I from our weekly Mass attendance and volunteer efforts with Liturgy of the Word for Children, and Mike and I are the only couple scheduled to be there tonight, so I think it will be a fairly quick and pleasant meeting. I'll report in tomorrow.

In the mean time, I'm very much enjoying the BALMY 40 degree temperatures we're having here today. I love this time of year. In October, anything below 60 seems chilly, yet in February/March, anything above 25 feels mild, and above 40 downright tropical. I do very much love living in a full 4 seasons climate - you appreciate each one as it comes along. :)

I'm still also heavily channeling spring. Last night, Mike glanced over at me as I innocently crocheted an Easter egg like it was the most natural thing in the world. My hands just can't keep still this year. And despite the fact that Lent hasn't even started yet, I'm already looking forward to Easter. We'll get there.

Baptism class, and...Catholic school registration?

Every afternoon when I write these posts, I try to think of what is foremost on my mind, and then make it interesting. Today, it was my to-do list. :) Sorry, tough to make that interesting.

Finally, I called about scheduling Baby CL's baptism. I have to be honest and admit that I've been putting it off because I knew the parish would want us to attend a "pre-baptism class," and I'm not saying I'm opposed to such a notion, I just wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Both Mike and I going out in the evening is a bit of a hassle - my mom has to be free to watch Henry, and I have to drag my exhausted self out at a time when I'd normally be crocheting in my jammies. Plus, sometimes classes like these can be (I'll just say it) a bit painful. But sometimes they surprise you, so why am I being so negative?

So I called. I immediately let the secretary know that this is our second child, and our first was in fact baptized. *halo* Next question:

"Did you attend a pre-baptism preparation class then?"

Sigh. :) No, we didn't, and I'm certainly going to tell the truth. Henry was baptized by the priest that married us, and he didn't require us to attend a class prior to the sacrament. Alas.

So, I signed us up for the class, and the secretary then got the paperwork to fill out as she talked to me. Me being Type A was thrilled to be able to schedule the baptism. I like my ducks all neat in a row.

"Ok, your names?... Great. The baby's name?"

*confused pause*

"Well, we don't know yet."

*other side of the conversation confused pause*

"Oh, you haven't had the baby yet?"

*another confused pause*

"No. I'm due in May."

"OHHhhh. Well, we can't schedule the baptism until after the baby is born."

*unhappy pause*

I did get the go-ahead to request sponsor letters following the class, so that we'd be all set come May/June. But I was a bit taken aback that the parish doesn't even schedule baptism until after the birth. I'm kind of old school - I like to baptize as soon as possible, certainly within 6 weeks. I mean, I'm certain that if there was a medical issue, an emergency baptism would be performed forthwith. But for uncomplicated matters, the assumption was that baby is already here, and following the baptism class plus acquisition of the sponsor letters (which sometimes can take awhile) the baptism will then be *scheduled*. That could be several months, or even longer.

I did what I could right now, and our class is actually next week. I'd like the baby to be baptized in June. Hopefully all will go well.

I also called our Catholic school of choice, St. A's, to inquire about first grade registration. We would simply need to bring in Henry's birth certificate, proof of baptism, his most recent report card, and $60. This will hold his place, and then we can fill out the remaining paperwork at our leisure. My hope is that this will happen next week, and I couldn't be more thrilled. This weekend will be the end of our self-imposed "2 week waiting period" and then I get paid that Wednesday. I'd like to bustle on in and register him. Mike is still on board, so I'm getting very excited. Maybe I'll meet some new Catholic friends too. :) I think this is the right move for all 3 of us.