A post in which Tiffany rambles about her blog...I hope you'll come along for the ride

Hello all! I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that your Catholic Librarian is in fact having a better day today. I suppose I can stop talking about myself in the third person now. You're welcome. ;-)

I wanted to write a bit today on my reflections based upon my very hurt feelings yesterday. I'm not going to get into any specifics, but reflection upon hurtful things in life, and consequent lessons learned, is a good thing, and I wanted to share that with all of you.

I am a person who gets her feelings hurt very easily. I so, SO wish that I could change this about myself, gentle reader, but as many of you also likely know, this is simply not possible. And so, through the years, I've tried very hard to just deal with hurt feelings better and not carry the wound with me so long. Things have improved somewhat with age and wisdom, but the underlying condition remains. This is the personality God blessed me with, and so I do my best with it.

Here are a few of the things I reflected on last night: When we are hurt, God wants us to ask Him for His help. We may be feeling too cranky to ask, but we must. Prayer, even when it feels utterly devoid of inspiration or emotion, is *still* beneficial to our souls. It will help, even if it doesn't feel that way right at that moment. Also, God is trying to show us something valuable and beautiful even in spirit crushing situations. Painful circumstances are not something to merely endure, but to look more widely at what positives we can learn and take away from them. There is *always* going to be more to learn.

I also thought about Pope Francis yesterday. I very much love and admire Pope Francis, but I hadn't yet forged an emotional bond to him the way I had with John Paul II, and even Benedict XVI. His style is very different from theirs, and so I didn't know if I'd ever have those same feelings for him, although his guidance of the Church right now is so top notch. But yesterday, I thought about him, do you want to know why? Because I knew that he would have the words to soothe me, as any good Shepherd would. One of the things he has said recently that the media latched onto was very applicable to why I was feeling so poorly yesterday. It made me appreciate him anew, and realize that I shouldn't only wait for him to start talking about liturgy or detailed theology to get interested in what he has to say. I may be particularly interested in those two topics, but he has something to offer that is just as fascinating and just as good. I'm so appreciative for the opportunity to have realized this.

I knew that a good night of sleep was paramount to my spirits bouncing back today, and that is what happened. That, and some support and encouragement from very dear and wise friends who are such a blessing to me. I thank God for them.

And so here I am today, trying to get my bearings again. This has always been a "life blog, " as evidenced by the title, and I'm certain that different people read my blog for different reasons. First of all, thank you to you ALL for even reading, I can't tell you how much that means to me. A writer loves an audience, to be sure. But my blog is somewhat different from other blogs that I read because it doesn't focus on any one "theme," if you will. It's certainly a Catholic blog, but I write about my whole life, and so there's a lot more in there, like my description indicates. I write about parenting, I write about dancing, I write about crafting, I write about marriage, I write about being a librarian, and sometimes I just write about things that I find funny, because my aim is always to be a lighthearted and humorous writer.

Sometimes I may write about things that you are not interested in. If that is the case, I hope that you'll just skip that post and come back the next day. :) I guess where I'm going with this is that I have gotten some more readers of late. I LOVE that. But more readers brings more issues, as well. I'm not going to go into specifics, but let me just say this: There are any number of reasons that someone could come to this blog and then judge me. And then say unkind things about me. And then insinuate that I cannot be a very good person and/or a very good Catholic. I mean, I'm human, and therefore a sinner, so the possibilities are endless, really. But here are some of the ways that come to the forefront of my mind:

• I am a belly dancer. You may notice that I changed the header on this blog to read "Middle Eastern dancer." I did that for a reason. I don't want people to be put off by the word "belly" and then never give me a chance to explain how this form of dance is not in any way inherently inappropriate. This is a part of my life that I love and enjoy, and I'm not going to stop writing about it. I do, however, hope that people will not see the header and immediately judge that I am therefore beneath them and not worthy of their time. 
• I am a mother to small children who works full-time outside the home.
• Our son attended daycare from the time he was 10 weeks old until he went to kindergarten at age 4.
• I do not homeschool. I have absolutely zero problem with homeschooling, but I do not feel that I would be very good at it. Therefore, my school aged son goes to our parish school.
• I nursed both my babies, but I did not do it exclusively and I did not practice attachment parenting.
• I am married to a baptized Catholic who now considers himself an atheist.
• I have 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl, who are five years apart in age. It would be very easy to look at the birthday tickers at the top of this blog and judge that my husband and I use artificial contraception. That would be utterly incorrect, but that's what happens when one lets surface facts lead to condemnation without looking any deeper into the matter whatsoever. See "I am a belly dancer," above.

 And of course, the list could go on and on. The fact of the matter is, no matter WHAT choices we make, someone will judge us for them. It's a fact of life, and as a blogger, it's certainly a fact of putting myself "out there." I understand and accept this, and I'm dealing with it as best I can. I make myself vulnerable by maintaining this blog. Some people appreciate that and are loyal readers who enjoy my writing. Others take advantage of that and use their words as weapons.

I am very sorry for that. But I am NOT going to judge that person or persons in return. They may be having a bad day. They may be having a bad month. They may think that they are being charitable by pointing out what they see as my sinful behavior and are concerned for my soul. I hope that they will give me a chance to explain, but I cannot force them to. They may hurt me, but I'm not going to lash back.

I'm just going to go about my business, blogging like usual. Because I love blogging. And I love blogging about all of the things that make this blog, and this woman, unique. I hope that you and I, dear reader, will have a long and happy future together as we journey along this thing called life. It's not always easy (especially when you have suffered through reading this entire post. :0 Your sacrifice has been duly noted...) but we do our best.

I promise to be chirpier tomorrow, scouts honor. :0

Some post-Easter thoughts on the new pope...

Sooooo, these past few weeks I've been gobbling up information about the new pope. Mike leaves all the newspaper articles out for me so that I can read them while I eat my morning cereal, and of course when I'm online I'm all hooked up into Catholic news and social media discussions.

And all the while, as the heady first days of his pontificate faded, I started to read, you know, STUFF. Disappointment, unhappiness. And I was very shocked to read about it at first. I mean, how could anybody be disappointed with this sweet and adorable pope?

And the thing is, the unhappiness is coming from the opposite end of the spectrum than I'm used to. What I would characterize (so this is very subjective, as I'm sure you all understand) as traditional Catholics were feeling very concerned. Admittedly, this got my attention right away. These are people that take their faith very seriously. So I took their concerns very seriously.

Sooo, the worry is that Pope Francis's more informal, easygoing style will result in him making changes to the liturgy. And the traditional Catholics that I've been referring to are concerned that this will mean that the Tridentine Rite (Latin Mass) will not be as available to them as it has been under Pope Benedict XVI.

I'm very sympathetic to this group of concerned Catholics. In fact, I would classify myself as a fairly traditional Catholic. Although I do prefer the Novus Ordo Mass over the Tridentine Rite, I support 100% the availability of this Mass for those who cherish it. And I will grant, I love being around so many other women who wear headcoverings when I do attend a Latin Mass. :) I also adore traditional Catholic devotions (I was horrified when my mother-in-law, who had lived in central Florida for well over 20 years at this point in time, asked me once when I mentioned praying the rosary if "people still did that"), traditional church architecture, and support all Church teaching.

And so, as the weeks have gone by, and I've read more about this. I can see now that Pope Francis has a different style than what we've been used to with both John Paul II and Benedict XVI. His style is, however, very consistent with his spirituality as a Jesuit.

Like many of you, I'm certain, I've read lots and lots of bad examples with regard to the Jesuit order, so I have to admit I was momentarily apprehensive when I heard the new pope was a Jesuit (if you ever read posts on secular wedding message boards about Catholic weddings, you will inevitably see someone ask about 2 Catholics wanting to get married outside, and someone will answer "find a Jesuit priest to do it! They're very flexible and understanding!"). HOWEVER, there are plenty of good examples as well, and from all accounts Pope Francis is very much one of these good examples.

I think that it all comes down to this: there haven't been many changes in the papacy within most of our lifetimes, and this pope is putting his own touches on how things are done. This is making all of us very nervous because we've gotten comfortable and used to things. But change is not a bad thing in and of itself.

I think what was bothering me so much about the whole thing is the constant "Look! Pope Francis is eschewing (fill in the blank) tradition with this much simpler way of doing things! Isn't that *fantastic*!" Well, yes, I very much like some of the things that he is doing, he's teaching us all a lot about simplicity and humility. BUT what I object to is the insinuation that his way is *so much better!* than his predecessors, namely John Paul II and Benedict XVI, who were more formal in their approach to the papacy and the liturgy (in some ways, though not in others). I just get that feeling a lot, certainly from the media coverage, but also from personal comments made to me.  And I don't think that that is fair. His approach is different, to be sure, but I don't think there can be any argument that John Paul II and Benedict XVI were invaluable examples of Christ in the life of the Church.

Anyway, food for thought: last night on the way home from work, I was listening to Catholic Weekend. Catholic Answers apologist Jimmy Akin was on, and he was talking about this very phenomena, particularly after the Holy Thursday-washing-of-women's-feet-story that I just *knew* was going to be a THING (and no, I really do not think that Pope Francis is going to be ordaining women as a result of this, that's just the way the secular media likes to spin things). And he said that one should try to see a new papacy as an opportunity to learn new things about our faith, and consequently to grow in our faith. Getting used to a new pope is like getting used to a new exercise routine, he said, which I really liked. Both the old routine and the new one are good, but sometimes you *need* the new one in order to kick start your fitness goals again.

To come full circle, I'm not worried about the liturgy. Pope Francis does seem to prefer a simpler style, but I don't think he's going to change things for those that do flourish with more formality. Granted, my opinion is no guarantee of anything, we're going to have to wait and see what happens as his pontificate wears on, but my first impression is still a good one. I don't think he wants to alienate traditional Catholics; I think everything is going to be ok.

It's difficult to get used to, but in the end, growth will happen if we are open to it. I think that is what we are going through in the Church right now. I have no doubt that Pope Francis was chosen by the Holy Spirit. And knowing that, how can we be afraid?

I just saw that the new Ignatius Press book Francis: Pope of a New World was available for immediate Kindle download for $9.99. It is now residing happily on my Kindle. :) I'm looking forward to reading it and learning more about Pope Francis. I know that there is much that I can learn from him.

The pope's big day

Well, I planned this big post surrounding Pope Francis's inaugural Mass, and I haven't seen it yet, so I can't really comment on it like I had planned. :) As soon as I woke up this morning I put on EWTN, but they were just ending their broadcast by that time. They are re-airing it, so I'll be tuning in this evening to watch it.

But I've certainly read a lot about it today and it sounds like people were very enthusiastic about it. I'm looking forward to vegging with the coverage later.

In other news, I'm exhausted. Some insidious cold virus is making its way through our house and I fear that I am next. Anne was Patient Zero and she's been licking things, so the infestation is hardly localized.

Sigh.

I just love this guy

The more I read about the new pope, the more I love him. He cracks jokes. He prays at Marian shrines. He hurried out to the balcony right after he was elected when others wanted him to delay because it was raining and he didn't want to keep the people outside waiting. He rides the bus rather than go in a private car. He pays his own hotel bill.

HE IS ADORABLE.

So far, so good. I think we got a good one. I really believe that Pope Francis was the Holy Spirit's choice.

I'm terribly excited for his installation Mass coming up Tuesday. In the mean time, I have a LOT of crocheting to do to prepare for Easter. Sigh. I always take too much on. This year, I did well for Christmas, but I overextended for Easter. Henry's crab is almost done, but I want to make Anne a chick which I haven't even started yet. I'm also still working on spring birthday gifts and a shrug that I want to wear on Easter day.

Mewing.

I have all next week, then it's Holy Week (!) so I *should* get everything done. I hope.

This weekend, we're going to do a nice St. Patrick's Day meal on Sunday and make a green cake. It should be a good one. And I'm staying riveted to EWTN watching new pope coverage.

Life is good.

I'm overwhelmed

If this is how I feel, I can't even imagine how the new pope feels.

Wow. Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Buenos Aires, now Pope Francis. The first Jesuit pope in history. 

I got tears in my eyes when I first spotted him on the balcony, after saying several *very bad* words because my feed had just frozen. I will have you know that I recovered quickly from my free fall into panic mode. How could my feed freeze THEN?!

My first impression: he seems very humble and prayerful. From popular surmise, he is very doctrinally orthodox. He's older than I thought he would be, but that's no matter.

I like him very much. It's hard to compare anybody to my beloved John Paul II, but I have a good feeling about this pope. A very good feeling.