A beautiful Triduum - a tale of Holy Week happiness

Hello all! I'm very glad to be back and blogging with you. It's kind of rainy and dreary here today, but Easter weekend was sublime. Let us chronicle...

*makes tea*

I had a super long day last Thursday, working the evening reference shift, and thus was extra thankful that I had taken Good Friday off. I got to sleep in and relax in the morning, and pray with my Magnificat magazine. Despite my resolution to pray Morning and Evening prayer for all of Lent, that hadn't gone very well :0 until Holy Week. Everything just really gelled for me Holy Week, and that continued during the Triduum. My Magnificat had absolutely fascinating details about all of the Triduum liturgies that I pored over. How could I have been a Catholic my whole life without knowing all of this *fantastic* information?!

Due to work, I missed the Mass of the Lord's Supper on Holy Thursday, but I was rearing to go on Good Friday afternoon. I almost didn't make it to the Celebration of the Passion liturgy, held at 3 pm at my parish, because Anne had a bad nap wake up and pitched a fit that could be heard for miles before we left the house, but I persevered. She had thankfully calmed down by the time we arrived, and was an excellent girl for the entire service. The only thing is (a) we were a few minutes late due to aforementioned fit pitching, and (b) the instant our butts touch the pew, she announces that she has to go to the bathroom. But we made it, and so I'll take it.

The entire liturgy lasted just over an hour. During the veneration of the cross, Anne was wide eyed as she watched everyone take their turn going forward, from little kids to elderly people needing help walking up. I could tell that that made quite an impression on her. I plan to make the Good Friday service an absolute must attend event each year, WOW does it pack a wallop. From the reading of the Passion in St. John's gospel, to the bare altar & empty tabernacle, I leave in tears every time.

As soon as Anne and I were heading out to the car, I was thinking about completing the Triduum with the Easter Vigil. We usually attend Mass on Easter morning, I'd only been to the Easter vigil twice in my entire life. Once before I realized how different the liturgy was on that day from every other vigil of the year, and once in 2011 when one of my best friends was baptized and confirmed and I was her Godmother.

*beams*

That was a very special Easter, obviously. After a spiritually dry year so far this year, I was loving my fruitful Holy Week and felt very inspired for the vigil Mass. So I made plans. This involved:

(a) staying awake, since the vigil starts at 8 pm and I'm usually ready for bed by 9:30. *snorts*

and,

(b) talking Henry into going with me. I thought it would be a special thing given that his First Communion is coming up in two weeks.

"It involves FIRE, Hank! But it *is* longer, so you have to be patient."

"Longer?! I don't think so, Mommy."

"But...FIRE!"

Let's just say that I prevailed.

At 8 pm Saturday evening, Henry and I were sitting in the darkened church, craning our necks to see the fire getting started outside. As our deacon processed into the dark church with the lit Easter candle, intoning "Behold, the light of Christ!" I thought to myself how very grateful I am to be Catholic. Our faith is truly a treasure.

I was teary as Hank and I had our candles lit, feeling so thankful that God is always there, even in our spiritual darkness. When the lights were flipped on dramatically as the cantor sang the Easter Proclamation, I could tell Hank was impressed. This indeed was different than any Mass he had ever seen.

Following the Blessing of Fire and Procession of the Candle, we moved to the Liturgy of the Word. This is the tough part with the Easter Vigil. :) There are 7 readings at this liturgy, each with their own Psalm and prayer, and Henry's agonized face as he flipped through his missal said it all. If I have a missal with which to follow along, *I'm* fine with that many readings, but feeling Henry's misery oozing from every pore was raining on my Easter parade a bit.

Well, at the pastor's discretion, the initial 7 readings can be pared down, and our parish ended up reading 3 of those, plus then the Pauline epistle and the Gospel, so 5 readings in total rather than 9. I thought that was an excellent compromise, and it soothed Henry quite a bit to see the readings dwindling.

Following the homily comes the third part of this Mass, which is the baptismal liturgy. Sublime! The litany of the saints, oh!

*ANGELS WERE LITERALLY SINGING*

It was so beautiful. We had 2 catechumens (receiving baptism, confirmation and Eucharist) and 2 candidates (receiving confirmation and Eucharist). One of the catechumens was a much older man, probably approaching 90 years old! I teared up during the baptisms, and then when the congregation renewed our own baptismal promises, it was just... Only when my good friend Irena was baptized, and when I got married, have I ever been that emotional at a Mass before.

When we moved on to the final part of the Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I could feel Hank relax. He knew exactly how long we now had to go, and so he was cool with that. I think he just likes to know what to expect, and we just didn't know exactly how long we would be there. In total, our Easter Vigil was just under 2 hours, to my mind, an ideal length. When I returned from receiving communion, he leaned over to remind me that there was only one more Mass to go before *he* could receive communion, which made me smile.

When we got home, it was just after 10 pm. Although he was impatient at the beginning of Mass, I thought Henry did a great job overall, and I'm so glad he came with me. Next year, my goal is the entire Triduum, I don't want to miss Holy Thursday again!

I'm still smiling, two days into the Easter Octave. He is truly risen! How was your Easter? Leave me a comment!

Tune back in tomorrow for the April edition of the Catholic Book Club, when we'll be discussing "More Catholic than the Pope: An Inside Look at Extreme Traditionalism" by Patrick Madrid. See you then!

Confession adventures as we approach the Triduum...

Happy Wednesday of Holy Week, everyone. :) Mine is going along swimmingly, how is yours? Well, swimmingly in that I feel very spiritually happy and content, although I did have a bit of a snafu attempting to get to confession late yesterday afternoon. Let us chronicle, no?

#Catholicproblems

I've been wanting to get to confession for AGES, and just kept putting it off. I've talked about my spiritual dryness on this blog of late, and that was a big part of the problem. I didn't feel right about going if I was really forcing myself to go. I didn't feel a true *desire* for the sacrament, you know? Since Palm Sunday, I have been feeling worlds better, and yesterday, for the first time in months, I truly desired to visit the sacrament. The parish affiliated with Henry's school has confession on Tuesday afternoons at 4 pm (I know, random, right?) and thus I made plans to leave work early so that I could go.

I park, head toward the church, and plot a few minutes of prayer in front of the tabernacle before I actually head to the confessional. I step inside the vestibule. Apparently, Holy Week brings out a blitz in the desire to seek confession, because at least a dozen people turned my way. This gave me pause. What were they all doing there?!

*gentle snort*

Usually, you can hear crickets chirping anytime you go to your parish for the weekly scheduled confession slot. At least at my parish. Not this time. I dipped my fingers into the holy water font and headed to a pew to pray, also figuring I could use the time to sort out my approach. Most of the others present were clumped up on one side of the church nearest to the confessional usually put to use by the pastor. I see him approach the confessional, go inside, and turn on the green light. Someone hustles over to get inside and immediately a huge line forms.

Ugh.

I was hoping this was going to be a quick affair, because yesterday night I was scheduled to make chili for dinner. Mike has play rehearsal every evening during the week, and the chili takes about an hour and a half to make. I needed to get it started to assure that we could eat, clean up, and take care of everything that needed doing before he had to leave. I was on a time crunch.

As I'm contemplating my next move, another priest enters the sanctuary. Huzzah! He goes into a confessional on the opposite side of the church, nearer to where I was praying. I feel triumphant. As I stand up, however, several older men from the other line start to zip over to shorten their wait time. And by "zip over" I mean they hobbled with their canes as fast as their legs would carry them. It just felt wrong to rush over and get ahead of them. So I waited until they made their way over toward confessional #2. Another lady slips into line as I walk over.

As I step into line behind her, something happens that has never happened in all of my Catholic years. Someone was in the face-to-face side of the confessional, and hence the red light was on. One of the zipping older men apparently does not notice this and swings open the door to the screened side. The lady ahead of me calls out a warning to him, which he also does not hear. He closes the door and apparently gets comfortable in there. :0

We all stand there, not really knowing what to do. A few moments later, the well-intentioned interloper emerges, clued in by the priest, assumedly. He waits *right outside* the confessional door. The rest of us wait in line awkwardly.

By this point of the action, I'm getting antsy. I'm worried about getting dinner started on time, and there are now 3 people ahead of me, plus the person currently in the confessional. I glance at the other line. They have moved a tad, but the line still snakes like a leviathan. Penitents seem to have multiplied exponentially over on that side of the church. I glance up at the clock. It's now nearly 4:15, and face-to-face guy is apparently having a lengthy and intense conversation with the priest. We haven't moved an inch.

I wait about 5 more minutes, and make the difficult decision to step out of line. Confession just wasn't happening yesterday, as much as I would have liked it to. I hurried home to get the chili going, and we were able to get everyone fed and cleaned up before Mike had to leave, but we didn't exactly have any down time in there. I made the right decision.

When I called that church yesterday to make sure the confession time was the same, the parish secretary told me that they were also offering confession today from 4-6. I have an appointment with the periodontist at 3:30, so I'm hoping to stop on my way home (again :)). Mike is home on Wednesdays and is making dinner for us tonight, so I won't have the time crunch situation. Here's hoping.

Has anyone else gone to confession this Holy Week? Leave me a comment. *beams*

First Communion fesitivities preparation, and I can never resist Easter chocolate...

Morning all! Happy Tuesday of Holy Week. *beams* I've been very into my special Holy Week issue of Magnificat and it's lending a prayerful and serene feeling to my week.

My thoughts have been turning quite a bit this Holy Week to Henry's First Communion, scheduled for May 3rd. I have been excited for this for YEARS and it's hard to believe that the day is nearly upon us. You know how I am about planning events, which is to say fairly manic, and we have so much else going on that same day, with my hafla that evening as well as one of Mike's play performances. It's going to be a big day, for certain. And so how do I handle such things?

Well, poorly, to be sure. But more importantly, with lists! What do I need to do? I need to:

(1) Take Henry to adoration and have discussion about the Eucharist. A heavy hitter, to start off the list. I know that he's receiving religious instruction at his school, but it's my responsibility to assure that he fully understands his faith. This endeavor will have to be on one of the 2 weekends remaining before the big day.

(2) Invite guests to the post-Communion shindig at our house. Checked off yesterday. *halo*

(3) Plan menu for post-Communion shindig at our house. Partially done.

(4) Order cake.

(5) Buy Henry special occasion wear. He won't like this, but it has to be done.

(6) Procure glue to finish First Communion banner. Just haven't made it to the craft store yet, and I don't know when I will. :-\

(7) Order gift. Checked off yesterday. *angels sing!*

I was scratching my head over that one since I got him a very nice rosary for his First Reconciliation, he already has a missal, and I wasn't sure that he would regularly wear a scapular or necklace of any kind for a pertinent saint medal or crucifix. I did a little online shopping yesterday, and picked out a very nice St. Benedict style wall crucifix for his room, from The Catholic Company:

I'm quite thrilled and can't wait for it to get here. He's been asking lately about St. Benedict when we read our saint stories in the evenings, so this one struck me as soon as I saw it. The St. Benedict medal is rife with symbolism, and it seemed to me this would be a good thing to have in your room or on your person. We could all use to battle less evil, no? :)

So, I'm getting there. We're planning to take Henry out to the department stores this weekend in an attempt to outfit him for this thing, and we'll firm up the menu. It'll be lunchtime, so I'd like to do some tasty dips, finger foods, and cake. We're planning a peach salsa and some shrimp cocktail. We need to fill in the other gaps. :)

Yesterday while Mike was teaching, I took the kids to a local and quite beloved chocolate and gift store to admire the Easter selections. I can never resist this sort of thing, despite having already ordered a good amount of chocolate from Henry's school for their spring fundraiser. Since the kids already saw that chocolate, and they've been nibbling it for desserts, it wouldn't be a surprise for their baskets, kwim? So they wandered around while I managed to spend nearly $50 in jelly beans and chocolate bunnies. I mean, how does this happen?! This place has the *best* chocolate though, with more variety than just milk and dark, although I do so love milk chocolate. They offer peanut butter, orange (this is a regional thing I believe, and while most people wrinkle eyebrows in confusion at this one, I LOVE orange chocolate), cherry cheesecake and white chocolate. They even make a *dark orange* chocolate. *swoons* We had a good time.

During our escapades at the chocolate store, I made the unfortunate discovery, however, that Anne is entering that stage (seems to be the later 2's) wherein children develop fears of things, and previously established happy routines are shot all to abysmal pieces. Like, you know, sleeping in their own bed without freaking out, or going pee pee in the toilet. Suddenly, she is terrified of the sound of the toilet flushing, and is afraid that something is going to rise up out of the bowl and attack her while she pees. I'm sure you can picture the scene:

*Anne crosses legs*

"Anne, do you have to go potty, Honey?"

"Yes." *looks miserable*

"Ok Honey, here is the bathroom. We'll just..."

*Anne peeks inside*

"NO! No, I don't have to go, Mommy."

*Anne crosses legs*

Repeat from the top until you think you may lose your mind.

I will say, it *is* a very sweet stage, filled with lots of need for hugs and snuggles to reassure nervous toddlers. Precious.

All right, everyone. Wednesday of Holy Week tomorrow! I will report in then. How is your Holy Week going? Leave me a comment!

A blessed Palm Sunday...

Happy Monday all! I'm back at work and feeling pretty good. Quick health update so we can move on to less gross matters: *delicately clears throat* :0 I'm doing well. My mouth is still very sore, much more so than last time. But it's healing, and so far so good. On the up side, my face is a lot less banged up looking than last time. I'm sporting a yellow bruise with a few broken capillaries on the left side of my jaw, but it's much smaller than last time. That helps a lot, especially when I want to go out in public. :) I have a follow up appointment on Wednesday afternoon, so we'll see where things stand then.

So that's that, and I'm real happy to be back with you! I had a nice stretch at home, but if I'm being honest (and I always am, for better or for worse on here, ha!) the kids were very challenging this weekend. There are times in your parenting journey in which you feel like your soul has been sucked out with the latest round of a kicking and screaming child on the floor, kwim? There are times when they are angels with each other, and then times whey they deliberately strategize their every movement around the discomfort and annoyance of the other.

Related tangent (stay with me here, and yes, I promise to circle back to Palm Sunday, not that I've even talked about it at all yet, but you know what I mean, dear reader ;-)): Mike and I watched "Gravity" this weekend. I don't know that I loved it (not necessarily my cup of tea) but it was certainly a good movie and very thought provoking. In one scene, one character asks another:

"What is your favorite thing about being in space?"

and she answers...

"The silence."

BOOM. Yes, yes, I agree. Despite my vocation to marriage and motherhood, I love and crave silence. Obviously, silence is not the norm when you have children in your house. I do my best with it, but sometimes things can simply seem overwhelming. I'm certain all of you parents know and appreciate what I mean. :) It doesn't mean you would change anything about your situation, it just means that we are human and struggle sometimes. And so that was Friday and Saturday, to be sure.

Sunday, I was determined to have a better day. I told myself that even if the children were as challenging as they have ever been, I would be patient with them. And it was an absolutely lovely day.

I took both kids to Mass while Mike went to his play rehearsal. Getting coats and shoes on is always a chore, and so we were running a bit behind, but I tried not to fret about it. It was a gorgeous day, and it was Palm Sunday. I was determined to make Mass enjoyable again for myself, despite being a referee for two very active children.

Henry fetched palms for us as Anne and I got settled in a pew. As expected, Anne was delighted to be given a palm, and she did hold it lovingly and wave it a bit, but not in a way that threatened anybody's eyes, so I can live with that. Both children were actually *very* well behaved and didn't try to annoy the other, for a change. There was a brother and sister pair in the pew ahead of us clandestinely poking each other with their palms behind their mother's back. Picture this as my Palm Sunday in a years time, for sure.

Henry was being very cute, following along in his missal. I was thrilled to be using the special Holy Week issue of Magnificat, and loving every minute. Anne was a very good girl, enjoying the palm blessing ritual and putting our envelope into the collection basket. It was refreshing.

Now, I'm buckling down for Holy Week and really trying to do small things to stay focused on what we are remembering this week. I read Morning Prayer today in Magnificat and felt very grateful to have access to such lovely things that can help to guide my mind to God and my faith. I also prayed my rosary this morning with more concentration than I've felt in a long time.

I have a lot to be thankful for.

I plan to blog each day this Holy Week aside from Good Friday, when I'm taking the day off to attend the 3 pm service. Let's all share the spiritual nuggets that we glean this week with each other. :)

Fifth Sunday of Lent and battles with spiritual dryness...

Lent is absolutely flying by, no? This Lent has been different for me in that my spiritual dryness (mentioned previously here) really hasn't abated, and the sticking to my Lenten resolutions has seemed to go more poorly than usual. :0 I do, however, at this stage of my life, have confidence in the method of just plugging ahead. Things always turn around, they just do. Whether it be that the situation actually changes or just that your response to it does. I have experienced this in many arenas of my life, including the spiritual realm. It's all good.

So I've been plugging ahead in my Lent, recognizing that a huge component of this is seeking out the sacrament of reconciliation. It's not like I have something major to confess, but I haven't been in many months, and that always takes a toll, whether you see it or not. And I don't even know WHY I'm procrastinating on this. I have this weird love/hate relationship with confession. I always dread it, despite how fantastic I feel after going. This seems to be a common struggle for Catholics.

And so going to Mass lately hasn't brought me the spiritual serenity it used to. Like I mentioned though, I persist, because it's the right thing to do. Plus, I need to set the right example for my children, despite their being the reason why I often don't get as much out of Mass as I'd like to. :0 It's hard to focus on Mass when you have these little people demanding your attention all of the time. Exhibit A, which occurs weekly:

*innocently reads missal*

"Mommy. Mommy. MOMMY. I have to use the potty!"

"You have a diaper on sweetie, you can just go."

"What?!" *scandalized look* "No, Anne can't. I have to use the big potty, Mommy! I have to GO PEE!"

Naturally, none of this takes place as quietly as I'd like it to.

However, I'm pleased to report that yesterday morning, I woke up excited to go to Mass. It's not that I've been dreading Mass, I just dread the exhaustion the children can bring to the experience. But yesterday, something was different. Nothing was at all different in terms of my responsibilities at Mass itself. Infighting during the coat and shoe putting-on process, a whiny ride in the car, Anne "needing" to use the potty the instant the opening hymn fades away, Henry annoying Anne, Anne annoying Henry, Anne wanting to dance out in the aisle, Anne loudly dropping her sippy cup...All of that still happened. But suddenly I felt soothed and happy to be at Mass again, despite all of these distractions. I felt excited to bust out my Magnificat to follow along, even though I knew the chances of it staying out with Anne in my charge were unlikely.

The sun was out during our drive, the wind finally didn't hold the bite of this past winter. Henry read cutely along in his own missal for the readings. Anne was well behaved. After Mass, Henry asked to light a candle, and I gave him the go ahead to get one of the big guns (i.e. the large size that will burn for 7 days) to pray for his intentions with his First Communion coming up in exactly one month.

It was lovely. And I was thinking that even at this late date in Lent, with Holy Week slated to begin next Sunday, it's not too late to get back on the horse. If you've stopped doing one of your resolutions, pick it back up now. It will make for a really meaningful Holy Week

Later Sunday afternoon, Hank and I broke out the kit to make his First Communion banner, a requirement of his religious education class. For someone who regularly hot glues her fingers together, this was sure to be a challenge. How did it go? Tune back in tomorrow. :)

"Please be *extra careful* around the electrical wires!!" - A weekend of dancing in small spaces and a Lenten knitting surprise...

Just what a girl wants to hear when she's balancing a tray on top of her head...

Morning all! A Dancing Monday post is always a fun way to start the week, no? I had a lovely, lovely weekend. Settle in with a cup of tea, and let's recount. This is going to be a long one! I probably won't blog for a day or two just so that you won't get sick of me, but this will be a fun post, I promise. ;-)

Your morning cup of tea, courtesy of the Catholic Librarian. :)

Friday evening my dance troupe had the final rehearsal prior to a performance we had scheduled for Saturday night. The event was a fundraiser for the local council for the arts, to be held at an Irish restaurant. In a bit of an eclectic lineup, we were dancing in the midst of a swing dancing night, complete with live band and members of a local swing dancing group. Our plan was to start off with our tray balancing/wings number, modified to use veils rather than wings due to light fixture concerns :0, Claire would dance a solo, and then the troupe would dance our new choreography set to fun Arabic pop music. So, that's what we practiced. The veils were tricky, because we had to drape them around our necks while we balanced the trays, and then slip them off quickly and into the right spot on our fingers for the rest of the number. Our wings hang attached to our costumes behind our backs, easy to grab at a moment's notice. The veils - not so much. You have to find an edge, flip it down in front, slide your fingers to the correct position and then swirl the veil to the back. A bit more time intensive, with a heck of a lot more room for error. But we made it work, and felt as ready as we could for Saturday night.

I arrived at the restaurant Saturday evening to find a gaggle of panicky belly dancers bunched into a corner of the banquet room in which we would be performing. The swing band was playing happily, oblivious to our distress. A slew of new tables had appeared overnight in the room, making the dance space...extremely small. And the band was taking up half of even THAT. Claire told us to just do the best we could with the space at hand. When we had to drop off our trays and then start a veil formation, she said to plunk them wherever there was free space, even if that was on someone's table, and not to worry about making the formation the way we usually do it, with us crisscrossing in front of each other. Just swirl around with veil and get to our places.

We dispersed to change and took over the ladies restroom as our dressing room, twittering nervously about the new plan. It seemed like an awful lot could go wrong with this, but it's not like we had a choice. As we waited to perform, me nervously sweating onto my veil as I used it for a coverup, I peeked into the banquet room nervously. The space seemed to have gotten *smaller*.

All too soon, the band took a break, and they wanted us to start. I fiddled with my veil one last time and we walked out with our trays. The beginning went fine, which is always an ominous way to start a story, isn't it? We balanced our trays. Then it was time to drop them off and begin the veil section. That went fairly predictably with trays being plunked somewhat haphazardly onto an empty table and then each of us trying to look graceful as we got our veils in place and squeezed into formation in the tiny space. Swirly, swirly, the veils looked good from what I could tell at first, but then we had to move into a circle. We did our best not to smother any audience members. As we circled and then spread out, the inevitable happened: there was no room to have your arms up very high unless you wanted to chance accidentally punching someone in the face, and so we kept our arms slightly lower than shoulder level. What happens when you keep your arms below shoulder level while holding a veil?

Someone steps on it.

I feel a tug on my veil and know exactly what happened. I probably should have thought my reaction out more fully, but in the heat of the moment I didn't exactly have that option. I pulled back as quickly as I could, figuring it was like ripping off a band aid (faster is better, right?!), and praying that no one fell. Thankfully, no one did, but as I hip bumped around I could see at least two of my troupemates executing the same veil pull I had just implemented.

It got dicey there, but we all survived. As we completed our final turns I looked at the audience. They were looking back at us curiously, not sure if that's good or bad. :0 Mercifully, that number came to a close, and Claire came in to dance. She was spectacular, as always. Our second group number went much better, since it is prop-less. But all the same, I don't know when I've been happier to finish a performance. :)

After changing back into my street clothes, I hung out for a bit with Claire and a few of my fellow dancers. The band came back and the swing dancers came out. We admired them.

I love, love ballet, it was my first love in dance, and it is the foundation for all other dancing that I do, but ballet dancers have a limited age window for professional performing (which I never did, I just took very informal classes as a child). And there is definitely a specific body type that ballet favors, which eliminates, let's face it, most of the population. Even at a healthy weight for your height, professional ballet dancers are *even thinner* than that! Not a good thing, truly. What I LOVE about other dance forms that I have discovered as an adult is the acceptance and celebration that you see of people of all ages and body types. The best swing dancer of the night? Without a doubt, by a landslide, a man who had to be approaching 60 years of age. He was FANTASTIC!!

I was enjoying my drink, watching the dancers and chatting with my friends when the swing dancers announced that they were doing a short lesson for any interested parties. As I'm sure you would be unsurprised to learn, I normally do not perform things in public that I do not know how to do well. I have never swing danced a day in my life. Karaoke is pretty much my worst nightmare.

Well, one of my dance friends, Amy, is going through a bit of a tough time, and she was interested in the swing dance lesson. I could tell that she just needed a little push and encouragement to do it, and I really wanted her to have a fun night, so I offered to go up with her.

Next thing you knew, we're dancing with men we've never met before who were ecstatic to have new pupils to teach. We were taught the basic 6 step sequence in swing dancing, and then moved on to a twirly turn. We switched partners as we learned a new movement, so that everyone could learn from each other. My favorite partner was a guy named Pedro who clearly knew what he was doing and lead our dancing beautifully. The instant we started moving, he said:

"You are a dancer, no?"

"Yes, a belly dancer."

That earned me the confused expression that I so often see when I tell people I'm a belly dancer. :0

"But something else too, right? Like ballet?"

Apparently there is no escaping that one.

"Yes, a long time ago."

"I can tell. You are very light on your feet."

Pedro has earned a gold star and made me feel not weird, and I found that I actually enjoyed swing dancing. Soon enough, our lesson was over and Amy and I moved back to our table. It was fun.

Then the band comes back out. My favorite 60 year old was dancing again, and so I watched him and his partner dance. It was delightful. I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's Pedro. He asks me to dance.

"Oh, I don't..."

"Oh, it'll be great. You'll see!"

See, this is one of those situation in which shy people so often find themselves. I really don't want to get up there and risk publicly humiliating myself, but you look like an unfriendly bad sport if you refuse. I smile politely and get up. I can see Amy and Claire staring at me, wide eyed and beaming, and I am really, really praying that this goes well.

So, we start dancing. It quickly becomes apparent that Pedro has high hopes for me, and is expecting that I can move from Swing Dancing 101 to Intermediate/Advanced Swing Dancing in the 10 minutes that have elapsed since our lesson. Horrifyingly, I step on his feet several times since we were moving so quickly and I still didn't really know what I was doing. :0 He didn't seem concerned and twirled me around all the more.

Let me tell you, swing dancing is excellent cardiovascular exercise, my friends. By the time the song ended, I needed a serious cool down. I thanked Pedro and meekly headed back to my seat.

Amy is waiting for me excitedly.

"That was AMAZING!! How did you learn how to do that so fast!!"

"Pedro did all the work, trust me." :)

She had captured our dance on her iPhone, prompting me to assure Mike upon my return home that if he sees me swing dancing on Facebook with another man that he shouldn't be alarmed. :0

As I related the story to Mike, he got all excited and said that he has always wanted to learn a partnered dance with me, like swing or ballroom dancing. I showed him the little that I learned and we talked about going for one of the drop-in lessons that this particular organization holds weekly. I have to say that I had a fantastic time and would love to try swing dancing again, especially with my cute husband as my partner. :)

And so that was my dancing weekend. I had an absolute blast. Our next performance is in just over 3 weeks, at a fundraiser for a charitable legal organization. That's the event last year at which I saw at attorney that I used to work with. Yep, as I belly danced up on a stage at a black tie event. Never a dull moment, folks.

And so finally, I promised a sneak peak at a Lenten gift I made, and I finished it this weekend. Yes, before you say it, it is only Nerd Catholics who knit special Lenten gifts, but pshaw! It is fun, and I make no apologies. :)

Without further ado, I introduce, da da DAHHHHHH! Lenten Socks:

Because we all need special socks, just for Lent...

They are indigo purple tweed and soft pink (for Laetare Sunday) and are so smashing I wish I could keep them for myself. :0 See how cute they look on me up in photo #1?

They are going in tomorrow's mail to head to their new home, and I know that they will be loved and cherished there. :)

All right everyone, I've taken up enough of your time. Have a great day! Are any of you dancers, either now or in the past? Or maybe you've never taken lessons but are jonesing to try a new class? If so, leave me a comment, I'd love to know which style you are interested in!

Lenten progress and the continuing saga of new food with picky children...

Hello all! I'm coming off of a very lovely, albeit disastrous March Madness bracket, weekend. :) It feels like a long time since I last talked to you! Although it's only been 3 days. So, let's see, what's happening...

Lent is in full swing, and Easter is less than a month away. How is everyone's Lent going? I always keep it real here on this blog, so I'll admit that mine is going "just ok." :) My spiritual dryness persists, and Mass with the kids has been less than inspiring of late. They have both been super good, no complaints there, it's just so exhausting hauling them there every week by myself. I think part of it is this interminable winter we're having. The routine surrounding bundling up and schleping out to the car with two kids, one of whom is always whining about going to church, is just soul sucking. I also miss *hearing* a lot in Mass lately because of Anne wanting my attention or needing to use the potty. This too shall pass, but right now Sunday Mass isn't the transcendent experience I would like it to be. ;-)

I also haven't been keeping up with my Morning and Evening Prayer. Sometimes I do it, but often I don't. I do pray my rosary in the car, and meditating upon the Sorrowful Mysteries each day definitely brings Lent to the forefront of my mind. I need to get to confession. I haven't been in months, and that could be contributing to my dryness. If I can, I will get there tomorrow. I have been avoiding sweets at lunch, as per my initial resolution, and the discipline involved in that has been good for me.

And so, that's kind of...that. It's not going *poorly*. It's not like I'm doing nightly battles with a forked tail creature or anything. My faith is always an important part of who I am, even during spells like this I just always hope that I don't take it for granted.

In food news, we had a real good weekend. Last night I made pulled pork in the crock pot (this recipe is AWESOME, you must try it!), steamed broccoli, and homemade apple crisp for dessert. It went over BIG. Both kids ate their food with very little complaint. The fresh apple crisp I think would even make a wonderful breakfast dish (without ice cream, of course :)). Very versatile! I used a recipe out of my Betty Crocker cookbook, but it's very similar to this one, I just substituted whole wheat flour. I did use brown sugar, but if you'd prefer to sweeten with honey, you could use this recipe.

So, overall I would say things are going well. There are going to be ups and downs, but on the whole we have made improvements to the way we eat and the kids are adjusting. I'll take it. :)

How was your weekend? I'll be back tomorrow, and Wednesday I'm scheduled to review March's selection for the Catholic Book Club, Dedicated to God!

Ash Wednesday 2014...

Morning all! I hope that you are having a blessed Ash Wednesday. And I *am* having a very nice day, after a lovely evening yesterday. A huge relief after my challenges of the other night.

I am going for ashes at the 4 pm scripture service my parish is holding, this is when I go every year. It's become quite an enjoyable tradition. I used to always take Henry with me, but now that he is in Catholic school, they have Mass with ash distribution during the day, so I just take Anne. This year I think she's going to really get a kick out of the process, since she really enjoys being blessed by the priest in the communion line each week. This past Sunday she even thanked him. :0

I bemoaned recently that next year, my birthday falls on Ash Wednesday, and it's a milestone birthday. Since it's a milestone most women people ;-) decidedly do NOT enjoy, I found this bit of trivia fairly unpleasant. I mean, I've been dreading it for like the past 10 years. :0 However, the other day I was sitting waiting for a meeting to start with a colleague, and something brightening happened. She wished me a happy birthday, and I mentioned this little birthday/Ash Wednesday evil tidbit. I know that this colleague is not Catholic. And do you know what she said?

"Oh, but that will be so nice. You will get a blessing on your birthday."

I mean !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How lovely!!! I realized how silly I was being about the whole thing, that I should look at it in a much more positive light. An ancient, beautiful, and meaningful tradition will fall on my birthday. I so appreciate her interpretation of this, which, let's face it, is the most positive interpretation POSSIBLE, ha! But I love it. She also commented that she has passed this age milestone, and that to her, it's a *good* thing.

"You appreciate and enjoy things so much more, without the insecurity we all have when we're younger."

Amen, sister.

I broke out my Magnificat this morning and read Morning Prayer. It is my resolution to keep this up twice daily for all of Lent, and I'm hoping that it sticks even beyond that. Mike is at home with Anne today, and he's planning a meatless dinner for us all, bless him.

It is a *very* cold Ash Wednesday here, especially given that it falls so late this year. A ton of snow still on the ground. But to me, I prefer that the weather still be somewhat wintry when Lent begins. It reminds me that the freshness of spring is still to come, at Easter. That's what we are preparing for now, and we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves.

Tell me about your Ash Wednesday plans! Leave me a comment. :)

Ash Tuesday? A painful lead up to Lent, in 10 easy steps...

That sounds so much better than "the day before Lent starts," right? At any rate, I am exhausted today due to my children and my job sucking the very life out of me yesterday. Things went down somewhat like this:

(1) I have a work day involving back-to-back morning meetings, a chat reference shift, and then an afternoon meeting at *3:30*. It should be illegal to have meetings that begin at 3:30. I'm barely breathing at that point of the day, especially after having already endured MULTIPLE OTHER MEETINGS.

Total Tangent Alert: I had to laugh a few weeks ago when we received an email from a large faculty organization on campus. Apparently, there were complaints that the committees formed by this organization were "inefficient," and generally "not getting anything done." Their solution? To create a steering committee to discuss this issue at length and then oversee and supervise all of these other committees. SOOOO... People are already on so many committees that they get out of meetings at every opportunity due to a diagnosable condition called Committee Overload (this needs to be classified by the Centers for Disease Control. The symptoms are upset stomach, piercing headache immediately above your left eyeball, a twitchy foot, and paranoia that you may have an undiagnosed case of Attention Deficit Disorder), leading to the committees having a difficult time getting anything done, and the Powers That Be think that to fix this, they should create yet *another* committee?

Welcome to academia.

Anyway, back to my life, for those of you who care and are still reading. :0 Where were we? Oh yeah, my 3:30 meeting. I had to leave early, because Mike teaches on Monday evenings, and I need to be home by 5 pm at the absolute latest so that he can leave. So I do. I have to walk farther than usual to my parked car because the meeting location was moved somewhere even LESS convenient than originally planned. Rushy, rushy.

(2) I drive and pray the rosary. As I go to turn the corner to our house, I am blocked by a "Road Closed!" sign. Something apocalyptic involving a large digging machine and a construction crew appears to be happening two doors down from us. Water main break, perhaps? Not sure, but whatever the reason, I now have to drive around a few more minutes to approach the street from the other end to access the road and get home. I make it by 4:55 pm.

(3) The children are handed over into my care and Mike leaves for class. Everything goes fine. At first.

*doomy music plays*

(4) I make dinner for the children. I warm up leftovers for myself. Henry goes off to play a game for a short spell while Anne colors and I wash dishes. Then Anne announces that she has to go potty. We head to the toilet, and the irony is not lost on me that that is also where my evening went.

(5) Anne uses the potty without my assistance:

"I do it *MYSELF*!"

As she flushes, I tell her to wash her hands.

"No!"

"Anne, everyone has to wash their hands after using the potty."

"NO!"

"Mommy will help you."

"NO NO NO!"

"You cannot watch Dora until you wash your hands."

Wherefore we begin an epic temper tantrum, interspersed with throwing of self on floor, screaming, and general misery for the entire household. AN HOUR LATER, she complies with the hand washing request amidst much sniffling. I let her watch a little tv and contemplate my upcoming drink options.

(6) Anne gets to bed late due to the tantrum situation, but I read her a book and we have a good cuddle session. By the time I shut her bedroom door near 7:30, I'm absolutely exhausted and just want to go to bed. I put on comfortable clothes and prepare to wait for Mike to return. I head downstairs.

(7) Henry pounces.

"Mommy, I'm bored."

I offer a long suffering sigh. This is a *constant refrain* in our house these days.

"Why don't you read?"

"I don't want to."

"How about do a puzzle?"

"I don't want to."

Picture this going on for another two minutes with increasing attitude on Henry's end. He gets whiny and I get annoyed. Finally, he asks if I'll play War with him, and I agree although I really don't want to. All I want to do is read a book on my Kindle and drink my drinky drink.

We play, and he starts out strong, but as this stupid game often does, the tide turns. I see him try to hide a card.

"Hank, you can't cheat, other kids won't want to play with you if you do that. It's called 'being a bad sport,' and it's dishonest. Let's clean the cards up. We can try again tomorrow"

"No!" *look of horror*

Too late. I already have the cards half cleaned up, and I've had enough. This starts the second hour long set of sobbing to be heard at my house in a 2 and a half hour time period.

WHY IS GOD SMITING ME?! What's next? Locusts?

(8) Requests for Henry to get ready for bed are met with belligerence and more crying. He is beyond overtired at this point. My bringing him his nightly asthma medication results in the pill being thrown across the living room. I've about reached my limit on what I can deal with without losing my own temper. I leave him to stew in the living room until Mike returns.

(9) Mike returns and I hear Henry tearfully giving a partial accounting of the story. Mike gives him a talking-to and puts him to bed with the promise that there will be no television watching tomorrow. Henry sobs loudly some more.

(10) I'm so tired I can hardly work up the energy to even read. I eventually have to intervene in Henry's misery, talking to him about the consequences of making choices we regret and moving on. He's a sensitive soul, he doesn't like attention called to himself, he's just like me. He asks me to read him the saint story of the day, and I do. It's St. Katherine Drexel.

I go downstairs and manage to perk up enough to chat with Mike and read a bit. When we head to bed, I read some more but can't sleep well, despite my exhaustion. Which brings us to today.

Lent hasn't even started yet? It seems like it's already been going on forever. :0

Lenten books, everybody cheer!

Happy Sunday all! I hope that you are all enjoying our last Sunday in Ordinary Time until the summer. This will be a very short post, and my final in the 7 posts in 7 days series! It's been lovely talking to you each day. :) I have to admit though, you will likely not be seeing me here tomorrow. I have at least 3 meetings tomorrow, obviously God is trying to smite me or something, to make sure I'm ready for Lent. :0


Ok, so what have I got? I'm the librarian, so I'm going to recommend some books and periodicals. ;-) Make sure you check your library catalog!

This Lent, I'm going to be using my Magnificat magazine like gangbusters.  This is a beautiful little devotional with the daily Mass readings and prayers, Morning and Evening Prayer (not the official Liturgy of the Hours version, but lovely nonetheless) plus daily meditations, saint stories and other themed pieces. I have a subscription, and while not cheap, it is WELL worth it for what you get. You can, however, buy the issues individually if you'd like to just get March for Lent, here at the Online Catholic Store.

Magnificat also publishes companions each year for Lent and Advent, with daily meditations and other devotions, and this year's Lenten Companion is available for Kindle for 99 cents! The paper copies are sold out, but information on this booklet in an app form, as well as other ebook formats, is available here.

I will also be using Sacred Space for Lent 2014, an inexpensive but powerful daily prayer tool.

In terms of lengthier spiritual reading, I have always wanted to read Witness to Hope: The Biography of Pope John Paul II, by George Weigel, during Lent. This is an imposing book, and I bought a print copy when it originally came out. I have started reading it several times, only to leave off somewhere in the middle. Lent is a good time to have a tangible finishing goal, and it's now available for Kindle. The author has updated the book since it was first published, as well, and so I downloaded it to my Kindle when it was on sale to capture this new content and have it in an easier to read format.

A few other books I have read previously in Lent are the excellent With God in Russia, and He Leadeth Me, both by Fr. Walter Ciszek. Both are *powerful* accounts of a priest unjustly sentenced to prison and hard labor camps in the former Soviet Union.

Also, don't forget about the two upcoming selections for my Catholic Book Club. *beams* I'll be reading these over my Lent this year. They are More Catholic Than the Pope: An Inside Look at Extreme Traditionalism, by Patrick Madrid, and The Cloistered Heart, by Nancy Shuman.

As a sneak peek, it's not listed in the book club information just yet, but another possibility for Lenten reading is a book I'll list for May soon, which is The Life of Christina of Markyate.  Stories of ancient Christian women who wished to remain unmarried and focused solely on God in the face of tremendous opposition are inevitably quite fascinating, and this book looks to be no exception.

All right, I hope that this gave you some ideas for your own Lenten reading plan! The Catholic Librarian is at your disposal to create a pathfinder of titles just for you if you ask. *beams*

See you all Tuesday!

I’m writing seven posts in seven days this week with Jen at Conversion Diary. To check out other bloggers who are doing the same, see the list here.

The Catholic Nook: Laetare Sunday

This is a bonus edition of the Catholic Nook coming your way on a *Saturday* because of the 7 posts in 7 days blogging challenge. I have to admit, I'm getting a bit exhausted of blogging :0 but when I make a promise, I stick to it. You're welcome.

;-)

I wrote about Ash Wednesday this week, and thus I thought another post in this pre-Lent series I'm doing about Lenten traditiona would be a nice touch. So here we are: Laetare Sunday, what the heck is that?

Laetare Sunday refers to the Fourth Sunday of Lent. Like the Third Sunday of Advent, this is one of the rare days on the Church calendar that the liturgical color is rose pink. It refers to a day of joy within a solemn season. As opposed to the rest of Lent, flowers may be placed on the altar this day. It is a day on which we receive encouragement on our penitential journey and look forward to the feast to come. Pope Innocent III remarked in 1216 that Laetare Sunday marks:

"a measure of consoling relaxation...so that the faithful may not break down under the severe strain of Lenten fast but may continue to bear the restrictions with a refreshed and easier heart." (from The How-To Book of Sacramentals by Ann Ball)

Originally, this particular Sunday marked the practice of the traditio symboli, or handing over of the Apostolic Creed to the catechumens (those who will be baptized at Easter). Some time later, this practice was discontinued and combined with the baptismal ceremony.

Now we have RCIA and the Rite of Election and all that good stuff during Lent, as preparation for the catechumens and candidates.The Church has retained the rose vestments on this day, however, as well as the original joyful intent. Interesting, huh? I may or may not covet a pink veil just to match the vestments for *2 days* a year. I'm admitting to nothing.

Tomorrow I'm going to be putting a quick reading list of Lenten resources together for you. Do come back and visit me!

I’m writing seven posts in seven days this week with Jen at Conversion Diary. To check out other bloggers who are doing the same, see the list here.

The Catholic Nook: Ash Wednesday

It's a Wednesday, exactly one week prior to Ash Wednesday, so what perfect timing to discuss this important day on the liturgical calendar, no? I know that you're all probably making your plans for when you'll get your ashes next week. ;-) It's also day 3 of the 7 posts in 7 days challenge over at Conversion Diary, and I am on a ROLL! :)

So let's kvetch a bit about ashes! What do they mean, and where did this tradition come from? Sprinkled in with my own personal and humorous ash stories, because what would this blog be coming to without *that*?!

And so, Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent for many Catholics (and those in some other Christian traditions). Interestingly, Ash Wednesday is a very western Church tradition. The Eastern rites do not have Ash Wednesday. Lent begins for them the Monday prior, with no tradition of ashes. The Eastern churches begin Lent on "Clean Monday," and they refer to this liturgical season as "The Great Fast."

Ashes have been used as a sign of penance and sorrow from the time of the Old Testament. Based upon this Jewish tradition, Christians started using ashes as a general practice around the eleventh century. During the Middle Ages, the pope would process barefoot on Ash Wednesday and receive ashes from the oldest cardinal-bishop at the Church of Santa Sabina.  He would then distribute them to the other cardinals.

As we are likely all (or mostly) familiar with, Ash Wednesday indicates the ashes that we receive, traced into a cross pattern onto our foreheads, on this first day of Lent. On that day, we attend either a Mass or a prayer service that includes the distribution of ashes, and the congregation comes forward to receive the ashes as the priest states: "Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return," or "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." As he traces the ashes onto our forehead, we respond, "Amen."

The ashes for Ash Wednesday come from burning the blessed palms distributed the previous Palm Sunday. The ashes receive a special blessing from the priest and are sprinkled with holy water prior to being used.

Funnily enough, I once heard a priest on our local Catholic radio station talking about this very issue. He said that one year, he was determined to make his own ashes to use at his parish, rather than ordering them the way he usually did from some sort of Catholic supplier (and apparently, the way all other priests do). So, he made a pitch for this endeavor throughout the year:

"Save your palms! After the first of the year, bring them into the parish office and I'm going to collect them all to have our very own palms burned for our ashes this Lent!"

Custom ashes for everybody!!

Everyone got excited. Little old ladies and children alike saved their palms carefully. They all brought them in, and this priest harvested them like precious gems. His congregation was so prolific with their efforts he got overconfident:

"Good heavens! We can't *possibly* use all these palms! 'We're all set everyone!'"

And then the time came to burn the palms.

*sense of foreboding*

Dozens upon dozens of palms were reduced down to...a wispy bit of ashes. There was no way he was going to get enough ashes to distribute to the entire congregation. Chagrined, he placed his ash order. :0

When I was a kid, I have to be honest and admit that Ash Wednesday was never my favorite day on the liturgical calendar. I felt very conspicuous with the ashes on my forehead, especially if we received our ashes fairly early in the day. I will say though, that growing up in western New York, non-Catholics here are very used to seeing ashes, since the Catholic population is so high here. When I lived in New York City for a spell as a graduate student, for the first time I had someone come up to me and tell me that I had something on my face. I was shocked, but thinking about it more deeply, I should not have been. New York is obviously a much more diverse city than my hometown, and as such contains a lot of people who may never have been exposed to Catholics observing this tradition.

I was always very paranoid about the ashes actually looking like a cross, kwim? There is always the danger of the "unintelligible black blob on your forehead" on Ash Wednesday, and as a child I longed for a very neat and tidy cross. This fits right in with my Type A personality, does it not? (some things with me are just SO predictable *innocent smile*) I also didn't like feeling the ashes sometimes drift down to my nose. I just had a whole face paranoia thing going on.

Happily, I have gotten over that, although I do plead guilty to peeking in my rear view mirror after leaving the church. If an unintelligible blob greets me, I ever so delicately mold the shape into a cross. :0 I hope this isn't sacrilegious, but an OCD girl has gotta do her best to cope.

Ok, everybody. I hope that you had fun dwelling on Ash Wednesday for a few moments.What were your thoughts on Ash Wednesday growing up? Adult converts, do you remember your very first Ash Wednesday? Leave me a comment!

I’m writing seven posts in seven days this week. To check out other bloggers who are doing the same, see the list here.

A Lenten plan for 2014, because I would not be your Catholic Librarian without A PLAN

Good day all! I'm enjoying my 7 posts in 7 days antics and writing all about Lent this week, as a preparation for the big kickoff next Wednesday. :) I posted yesterday about some reflections going into Lent 2014. Today I wanted to write about how I'm planning to actually implement my thoughts into a Lenten plan for this year.

This is always a big "thing" for me each year. I look forward to Lent, because I like structure. It is true, spontaneity has never been an enjoyable part of my life. :0 And so I always approach Lent with a lot of seriousness, enjoying the planning process. And Lent really does *require* a plan of some sort if you are going to glean anything of significance from it. Enforced structure, that is my kind of living, people! And so, what am I going to do? I knew I was going to post about this, so I spent a lot of time last night and this morning thinking this over.

*halo*

Here we go:

(1) Prayer - I have slacked off on my Magnificat morning and evening prayers. In January, I was doing the Marian consecration readings, and adding anything else into the daily prayer routine was too overwhelming with my work and home schedule. I long to get back to that, and Lent is the perfect opportunity. I want to pray those seven days a week. I'm also going to be using Sacred Spaces for Lent 2014 as a daily source of short readings and prayers. Download it for Kindle for a mere 99 cents!

I'd also like to fine tune my daily rosary praying. I often pray the first three mysteries in the morning on my way to work, and then never complete that rosary. I know any prayer and meditation is a good thing, but my goal is to complete the rosary on my way home each work day.

(2) Almsgiving - I have been on the lookout for quite some for a volunteer opportunity at my parish, ever since I discontinued participating in the Children's Liturgy of the Word program, and I will step up my efforts this Lent. If I see something, I will push myself to do it, even if ordinarily I may find a reason why it's not the *perfect* opportunity. That old "social anxiety" thing rearing its ugly head again. I may have to actually *talk* to people I do not know, I will have to get over this. :0 I would really like to give of my time in this way.

(3) Penance - After lunch and dinner each day, I always add a small "sweet bite" to my meal. I do have a sweet tooth, and while I try not to indulge it too much, I will usually have a small chocolate or cookie just to satisfy that sweet craving when I finish eating a meal. I am going to give that up for Lent. It's a small thing, but one that I will really notice and it will remind me that we are in Lent and reflecting on our Lord's sacrifices for us.

I'd also like to get to confession at least once during Lent. It's quite humbling to admit how long it's been since I was last at confession. I believe it was back in the fall, but at any rate, *too long*, especially since I cannot remember exactly when it was! Never a good sign.

(4) Fasting and Abstinence - I'll be doing as the Church prescribes, fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and abstaining from meat on all Fridays during Lent.

(5) Spiritual Reading - I don't have anything specific set aside, but I will make a commitment to keep up with spiritual reading in addition to the fiction I enjoy. I'll have finished the March book for the Catholic Book Club (which is quite fascinating, by the way, "Dedicated to God: An Oral History of Cloistered Nuns") before Ash Wednesday, so I'll work on April's selection, "More Catholic Than the Pope: An Inside Look at Extreme Traditionalism," as well as anything else I have time for. I'll post a review if I do complete another Catholic book prior to Easter.

And so, there you have it! It's not overly ambitious, but in my estimation, that is as it should be. I can see myself sticking with this plan throughout Lent, and it includes several good spiritual habits that I would like to nurture and incorporate into my daily routine, even after Easter.

This is my plan for Lent this year? What is yours?! Leave me a comment, because I'm dying to know!!

See you all tomorrow. :) I have a Catholic Nook post planned, ooohhhhhh...

I’m writing seven posts in seven days this week. To check out other bloggers who are doing the same, see the list here.