Anatomy of a baby scream

So, last night Anne got a hold of a pot lid. She turned it over in wonder in her hands, and caught sight of her reflection on the outside.

"There's that attractive baby again! Better wave so that she'll come back and visit. Is she on the other side of this thing too?!"

*much lid flipping commences*

Suddenly, the inevitable happens:

*bonk*

And thereupon commences the scenario that all parents are so very familiar with:

(1) Moment of shocked silence.

(2) Parent looks anxiously at baby.

(3) Baby's face turns red.

(4) Baby's face reflects expression of absolute outrage.

(5) Baby opens mouth and sucks in as much air as she possibly can (although only as much as will allow her to maintain her clear body language of being Royally Pissed Off).

(6) Baby flails limbs. And then...

(7) All the stored up air comes rushing back out in a howl of protest and indignation, registering at the highest possible setting of the baby volume meter. How dare that pot lid strike her like that?!

(8) Baby is immediately picked up and cuddled, but she pushes you away. Clearly, you and the pot lid were in cahoots together.

(9) After a minute or so of forced soothing, baby settles down and swipes her fist across her teary face. There's still other interesting new finds to be had in that open cupboard...

Lenten reading, book 1

My first book this Lent is an old favorite - The New Men: Inside the Vatican's Elite School for American Priests, by Brian Murphy.

This book is written by a journalist from the Associated Press, and although he characterizes himself as a "born and fled Catholic," one immediately senses that his own nostalgia for his childhood faith is at least part of what compelled him to write this story. He is very fair and sensitive in his treatment of the men whose lives he chronicles, and it's always been one of my very favorite "faith stories" books.

This is a work of non-fiction and it's set during the late 90's, toward the end of Pope John Paul II's pontificate. We are quickly introduced to 6 men in the entering class at the North American College, an American seminary in Rome. As one would expect, it's fairly prestigious for a seminarian to be sponsored by his diocese to attend the North American College. Often, these are men who ultimately are promoted beyond the ranks of parish priests and serve the larger Church in a post within the Vatican itself. So, as if entering the seminary in and of itself wasn't already a life changing event, there's an added bit of pressure here. Their diocese is spending a lot of money investing in them and their education; do they have what it takes to make it through to ordination and be a good priest?

Our 6 friends quickly become very dear to us. We have a former high-paid attorney who very honestly admits that he had a bit of a raucous dating life, and now struggles with his commitment to lifelong celibacy; a former Air Force pilot who broke up with his girlfriend to join the seminary, but yet can't stop thinking about a devout Catholic woman he met while finishing up the philosophy and theology credits he needed prior to entering the seminary; a Vietnamese-American immigrant whose faith was formed and solidified as a child when his father was taken from the family and placed in a Communist work camp; a man from North Dakota whose strong ties to the land that he was raised in calls him to a Benedictine monastery near his family's farm, but who promised his diocesan vocations director that he would give the seminary a try; and a set of identical twins, one with a now very uncommon boyhood vocation to be a priest, and the other who left a high-powered business career to pursue the priesthood with characteristic enthusiasm and zeal when he felt the call as an adult.

The book chronicles their lives and struggles for a full academic year, from the fall until the following summer. One man will decide to leave the seminary by the end of the year; who will it be?

The author does an *excellent* job of detailing their prayer lives, their chaotically busy daily schedules, juggling language study, theological study, Mass attendance, community service, and in the midst of all of this, trying to decide if they made the right decision to pursue the priesthood.

Ok. Now all of that is very interesting, by itself. I just love personal stories and details about how one carves out their relationship with God and what that means for their life choices. It's never uncomplicated and always intriguing. BUT. That's just the tip of the iceberg. :)

During the writing of this book, do you want to know who the rector of the North American College was? This is the head of the school, the priest who counsels all of these men through their doubts and struggles and crises over abandoned girlfriends?

Timothy Cardinal Dolan of the archdiocese of New York, and now the high profile president of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.

At that time, he was a monsignor, and this book offers a profound look into his wonderfully engaging personality and commitment to the faith and to the priesthood.

AND, like I mentioned, this was during the pontificate of John Paul II, and reading this book now brings him back to me just like it was yesterday. I'm not certain if I've ever gone into this on my blog before, but, well, I LOVE Pope John Paul II. I mean, I *love* him. :) It's one of the great regrets of my life that I never got to meet him before he died. I just adored him to pieces, and he was the pope for essentially my entire life until he died in 2005.

When he died, I was very early in my pregnancy with Henry. Mike and I had been married earlier that year, and we have an official papal blessing from him, which remains on our wall as one of my most cherished possessions. When he was beatified, I was very late in my pregnancy with Anne. And the other day in Mass, I looked down at a prayer card that I've had in my missal for *years* and do you know what I saw?

His birthday is May 18, 1920, exactly 91 years to the day before I delivered Anne.

I just feel a very special devotion to him, and reading this book brings back to me so clearly the end of his papacy and how he showed the world strength and courage in suffering.

So, for all of these reasons, I love this book. I can re-read it over and over. There are so many good examples in it of everyday people striving to live out their Catholic faith, in the vocation they feel called to, in the face of numerous struggles and challenges. I never fail to be inspired by them, and to feel called to do more in my own life to be a better Catholic.

Sometimes, being a parent involves a LOT of patience...

"Mommy, do you want to hear the scary story that I made up?"

*Catholic Librarian is just settling in with a book and an evening glass of wine*

"Oh. Well, uh. Sure, Sweetie."

*martyr*

"Ok, well, one night there was a boy in his bedroom, and..."

*There commences, I swear it, 10 full minutes of details about the boy transversing his town, a scary party, branches scratching on windowpanes, with full sound effects provided by Henry, lots of creeping around corners, etc.*

"And then! Do you want to know who jumped out from the corner?"

"Who Honey?"

"A *leprechaun!*"

"Oh!" *senses end in sight and return to wine* "That was a very good story, Sweetie."

"Actually, I wasn't done."

Oh sigh.

So far, a blissful Lent

Yes, a rare Saturday post. :) I'm actually working today, one of my required undesirable shifts. And the library is deader than a doornail, so I'm blogging.

We're on Lent day 4, and so far I'm loving it. I've been keeping up with my morning and evening prayers in the Liturgy of the Hours, and can I just say, I absolutely love those books. I have the full 4 volume set, and they're a bit pricey, so I acquired them one at a time as I needed them. Makes it much less daunting to spend about $35 a pop rather than well over a $100 for the full set at one time. I think I was able to get one individual volume on Amazon, but the others are all available individually from the Catholic Book Publishing Company.

It's just so, so soothing. To learn how to pray them, many years ago I purchased The Divine Office for Dodos. I'm going to be honest and say that I found the "dodo talk" grating after awhile (all right, I found it grating right away) but the content is top notch. So, based on my foundational knowlege of how to pray the hours, after I eat my breakfast and am having a quick cup of coffee while assuring that Anne does not tear the house apart, I pray the invitatory, and then morning prayer. I skip the hymn, because my singing is appalling. But I adore those little seasonal antiphons with the psalms (a perk to the 4 volume set, the antiphons are right there and are repeated at the end of the psalm, so less flipping) and my favorite parts are the reading, the intercessions and the final prayer, all found in the Proper of Seasons. They're all very targeted to the liturgical season but also to the time of day. Lots of hope and motivation for daily tasks in the morning, reflection and self-examination in the evening.

For evening prayer, I just carve out time in spurts wherever I can surrounding dinner preparation and clean up. So far so good.

And being at home since Ash Wednesday has been such a blessing. I had some comp. time coming, and my mother-in-law needed to have cataract surgery (she watches Anne for a few hours each day while Mike teaches) so I was glad to pitch in during the day when I would ordinarily be working.

And the time for reflection has proved fruitful. This Lent, I feel that God is calling me to let go of my fear of change and really pray about what is to come in my future. Certainly, my vocation is to my family, that always comes first. And my job is pretty important to the family right now, for the income and health insurance benefits. But I'm just wondering about the future. Maybe God has something else in mind for me one day to earn money? Maybe I could work from home? I have absolutely no idea. And I'm happy to be at my current job (and very grateful for it) for as long as we need me to be. But for the first time in as long as I can remember, it's been on my heart that God may ultimately have something else in store for me. I don't know what or when, but I don't need to worry about that. Everything will work out. Just like it did with Mike's career situation. I never would have thought that we could have him home as much as he is with the kids and not working full time, but there you have it. He is, and it's wonderful.

Being home with the children has been awesome. Granted, sometimes challenging:

"Mommy, want to hear how I can count to FIVE THOUSAND?!"

"Anne, please don't SUCK on the *grocery cart*!" (I swear, she learned this from her brother. I'm not germ phobic, but seriously. Let's be reasonable here.)

but it is very, very rewarding. Monday I return to the grind, alas. But next week I'll review my first selection of spiritual reading for this Lent, and it's one of my all time favorite Catholic works of non-fiction. And it is not a spiritual classic, because I'm going to be honest and admit that I'm weak and am just not spiritually advanced enough to concentrate on those for any length of time. I'm all about the personal stories. And this book fits that bill. I've also decided to purchase a new book (pretty rare these days, but we're ordering season 1 of Downton Abbey and we need just a bit more to get free shipping anyway :)) and I'm super excited.

*happy sigh*

Lent, day 2

So, it's day 2, and so far I've kept to my Liturgy of the Hours routine. :) And thus far, I'm loving it. I remember this from when I used to be better about praying them most days: you immediately feel more peaceful afterwards, and your day goes better, even if challenges present themselves.

Hence, I'm glad that I chose this as my lenten resolve. Next week, I can experiment with the Magnificat since I have the March issue, and I can compare the two.

I very much enjoyed getting my ashes yesterday. Henry and I ended up going to the 4 pm scripture service with ash distribution. Mike and Anne were going to go with us, but she was still napping, so it was just Hank and I. Our deacon led the service, and this is the one I went to last year as well. I really enjoyed it, I think I'll make it a yearly tradition to go to that particular one.

It got me to thinking about daily Mass, as well. I love daily Mass, but it's so hard for me to go at lunch anymore. Our Newman Center moved to a further location on the campus, and it's too far to walk. To drive would mean a long walk out to my car and losing my parking spot (a big problem on this campus) so I only go on holy days of obligation. But my parish has an 8 am Mass. I may go a few times during Lent. I usually leave for work around 8 am, but this would still get me in at a fairly early time. We'll see.

It's been pretty busy here with the kids and the house, so I don't have much time to write. Ironically, I have much more time to write when I'm at work, ha!

And Lent begins...

I was so excited about Lent beginning this year that I was actually thinking about it when I was up with Anne last night. Oh, speaking of Anne, who thinks that because she had a Hall of Fame night on Sunday night (plus she's feeling a bit better, plus she already cut a tooth, so a break must be in store, right?) that this means she continued to sleep that way from that point forward?

Anybody? Anybody?

No, of course not. :) But I wasn't all that surprised. Monday night was a bit sucky, but last night actually wasn't that bad. I was up with her around 1:30 to nurse, and she wanted to get up quite early, but it's Ash Wednesday, so I thought it wasn't such a bad idea to force myself out of bed earlier than I would have liked. I'm off from work for the rest of the week to be with Mike and the kids during Henry's winter recess, so although early, I got up and felt chipper.

Anne actually played in her exersaucer (a rare treat these days) while we all ate breakfast, and then I settled in with my coffee and the Liturgy of the Hours volume for Lent and Easter. My goal is to pray morning and evening prayer each day. And I knew being at home that I would be interrupted quite a bit, so if morning prayer doesn't always get done in the morning, that's ok. I'm a mother to two young children, and my vocation to them has to take priority. I'll get back to the prayers whenever I can.

But this morning, I was able to pray morning prayer long before 8 am, although peppered with questions the whole time from Henry. After that, I knit a dishcloth for my sister for a short time while Anne played, and then I put her down for a morning nap.

Now, Mike is teaching, and Henry and I just played Life. I'm going to knit a little more and do a few chores around the house. After lunch, we may run some errands, including a trip to the local Catholic store to see if they have that little booklet/guide for the Liturgy of the Hours for 2012, since I don't have one and they're awful handy. We'll be heading for ashes at the 4 pm service.

So, that's my Ash Wednesday. Pretty low key. We're having black bean burritos for dinner, and Henry has definitely taken an interest in not eating meat today and on Fridays during Lent this year. They were discussing it at school. I talked to him about giving up something for Lent this morning, and he seemed quite horrified by the thought of giving up a beloved item of food or television watching. We'll work on that for next year. :) But he agreed to say a prayer every day for his grandfather that passed away this year, asking for the intercession of St. Maximillan Kolbe. That's his newest saint friend that he found in his much treasured children's saint book, which I'm really glad that I bought. He's also taken a shine to St. Michael, St. Dominic Savio, and St. Joan of Ark. So much death and suffering with those saints, but all the burning at the stake and beheadings seem to make them of great interest to Henry. I suppose I'll take it as a good thing.

Thus, I'm feeling very prayerful and happy today. How is everyone's Ash Wednesday going?

Eve of Ash Wednesday, 2012...

I'M SO EXCITED.

I know it seems odd to be so giggly and excited about a penitential season of fasting and sacrifice, but there you have it.

I LOVE Lent. I really do.

I love the opportunity for personal reflection and trying to better myself spiritually and toward my fellow man. I love being cognizant of what I'm eating and what day it is per fasting and abstinence so as to develop more self-discipline. I love increasing my spiritual practices and experimenting with new prayer routines. I love how Lent begins in the heart of winter and ends in the spring with a sweep of fresh renewal.

It's totally, totally wonderful.

So, what am I going to be doing this Lent? I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm not going to "give something up" for Lent this year, aside from following the Church's guidelines on abstaining from meat on Ash Wednesday and Fridays (I'm also not going to fast since I'm a nursing mother). I'd like to "add something in" and just generally be more prayerful this Lent.

Thus, I'm going to do only spiritual reading. It can be fiction, but Catholic fiction. Mostly non-fiction. And I'll feature what I read on this blog. As well, the big thing that I'd like to do is establish a daily prayer routine aside from the quick chaplet or few decades of the rosary that I pray each day in the car.

My resolve is that I'm going to pray either the Liturgy of the Hours each day, or the daily devotions as put forth in the Magnificat, since I have the volume for March and that's a good opportunity to also see if I'd like to pick back up a subscription. I know that the Magnificat prayers are not the official prayer of the Church the way the Liturgy of the Hours is, but it's still a very nice structure for private prayer. This will also prove a good opportunity to compare the two and see if the Magnificat is more manageable for me to pray everyday.

I'm also going to make time for confession (once) and Eucharistic adoration (at least twice) as well.

So, that's my Lent. Tomorrow, I'm going to be home with the kids, and I'm planning to haul all 3 of us to our parish to get ashes. I'd love to make it to 8 am Mass, but I may end up going to the 4 pm distribution of ashes with scripture service. With both children in tow, I may need something shorter so that I'll live through the experience.

Super excited. :)

Of cheese fondue and sick babies...

Photo courtesy of LOLSaints. :)

It was an interesting weekend, and one that unfortunately involved me getting older. Let's begin our chronicle on Friday evening...

Anne was coughing. This is going to be a theme, just you wait and see. I was worried about her, but it seemed to be a simple case of the common cold. She wasn't running a fever or showing any other distressing symptoms, so we just kept an eye on her. My in-laws came over so that Mike and I could go to dinner for my birthday. (I'm not saying how old anymore. :) I'm saying "mid-thirties" and I'm sticking to that regardless of how far from "mid" I may actually be. So there).

Hence, Mike and I traveled to our local Melting Pot. Oh happy sigh. I just love it there, site of my last birthday dinner. We each get to pick on our own birthday (we have to come to a happy consensus for anniversaries and other romantic milestones) and I'd picked Melting Pot months ago. I'm a sucker for a pot of hot cheese sitting on my tabletop.

Fact that our waiter walked up to our table and announced:

"Hi folks! Happy birthday! I see it's been a little while since you were here last, about a year. Do you have any questions about our new menu items?"

...excellent customer service, or just plain creepy? Inquiring minds want to know...

So, we ordered a cheddar cheese fondue, plus our entrees with a vegetable broth to cook them in. Mike chose a seafood trio with sesame encrusted tuna, shrimp, and salmon, and I picked the awesome vegetarian plate which had asparagus, artichoke hearts, glazed tofu, spinach and cheese stuffed pasta, and mushrooms. AWESOME. You also get dipping sauces to dip everything in. Dipping = best dining experience EVER, in my opinion. Add wine into the equation, and you have one very happy Catholic Librarian.

Mike calls the Melting Pot the epitomy of a child-free dining experience. Every table has a vat of scalding hot liquid on it. This makes for a bad toddler takealong dinner.

So, that was very, very nice. Saturday morning, we woke up to a very miserable looking Anne. To say that we haven't had a good night in a long time would be an understatement. Sleep has been tough for months now, but I knew to expect this. She's still a baby. Plus she's teething. She just cut that new tooth, but her drooling is working overtime so I wonder if yet another tooth is coming in.

I mean, seriously. Does she really need more than 4 teeth?! I think God should consider my baby redesign suggestion. Additional teeth come in only when the person is a teenager and can assist themselves in the middle of the night. It would have the added benefit of humbling them during a tumultuous age. Do they really think that waiting until they're at school to apply a multitude of makeup in the girls bathroom and rolling up their skirt at the waist is going to go unchallenged? Do they really think their mother doesn't know that they do this? SHE DOES. BECAUSE SHE ALMOST CERTAINLY DID THE SAME THING HERSELF. And then a new tooth would arrive, making it hard for them to apply their lipstick when they think their parents aren't watching. See? Brilliant idea.

So anyway, Anne woke up on Saturday morning coughing and wheezing. Necessitating a trip to the pediatrician. Diagnosis: bronchiolitis and an ear infection. He gave us an antibiotic for the ears, but obviously there's nothing you can do for the virus but wait it out. He told us that she's right in the worst part of it.

Ain't that the truth. Mike commented that she looked like she'd spent the night in a crack house. Eyes glassy. Face wet from drool and snot. Aforementioned drool and snot rubbed crankily into hair that was standing up in spikes. Nose red. Expression VERY ANGRY.

Ever try to wipe a child's nose anywhere from age newborn through, I don't know, eternity?

Approach with tissue. Child moves headtoside!! Approach on other side. Child moves...headtoside!! Quick change hands with tissue!! Child...movesheadtoside!!!!!

A very frustrating endeavor. And it's what we did for 3 full days. Saturday, she enacted what is now her patented 20 Minute Nap Technique:

Nurse Anne. Lots of coughing ensues involving milk being sprayed onto both Anne and Mommy. Nurse lots more. Anne dozes off. Mommy sets Anne in crib. Anne sleeps. Mommy just starts on a chore when...Anne wakes up. Repeat process. 20 minutes later...Anne is crying. Repeat for rest of day.

And then the night comes. And well, as you would expect, it doesn't go any better.

Sunday, she woke up looking 90% better. The antibiotics are clearly working on her ear. She seemed almost herself, although still coughing. And last night...

She slept for 8 hours. Woke to nurse. Then slept until 7 am.

*ANGELS SING*

It was like a little slice of heaven.

So, she's doing better. Still on the antibiotic, and we're just keeping her in until she feels better. Hope for another good night tonight. Hope does spring eternal, after all...

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

ANNE HAS CUT HER SECOND TOP TOOTH.

*angels sing*

If this isn't a good birthday present, I don't know what is.

That, and the dinner at the Melting Pot that is Mike is taking me to tonight. So much cheese consumption will commence. Although must modify such that the new sweater that I'm knitting will still fit, given that it has a stranded section in the middle, and my tension was *just a hair* too tight. So, not too much cheese.

But still cheese.

All excited about Lenten devotionals...

...because that's just the sort of thing that I regularly get excited about. I posted not too long ago about requesting free sample copies of Magnificat for myself and Magnifikid! for Henry to see how we liked them. And yay, they arrived!

I used to subscribe to Magnificat a number of years ago (won't think about how many years ago, too depressing...somebody's *birthday* is coming up this weekend) and I really did like it, but I found that eventually I wasn't using it as much, and for $45 per year you really want to use it to its fullest potential. I really liked the saint biographies that were included for each day, and they were usually of more obscrue saints I'd never heard of before. I also loved the artwork and the additional articles and special devotions that appeared in each issue. I did use it for daily Mass (when I was able to attend) and Sunday Mass, for the readings. I didn't really use the included daily prayers, based on the Liturgy of the Hours.

Now, I have a Sunday Missal, so I wouldn't even use the readings, but I'm re-curious (new coined term) about whether or not I'd use the prayers as a daily devotional. I have a full set of the Liturgy of the Hours, but I haven't used them in awhile since it's difficult to find enough uninterrupted time to pray all of the hours, especially evening prayer and the office of readings. I do get the Advent and Lent companions each year that Magnificat puts out, so I thought maybe it was time to reconsider it. So I ordered that sample copy along with Hank's Magnifikid!

Both came the other day. Neither officially starts until March, so we won't get the full test until then. But I did notice that Magnificat now has a 6 month subscription option which I don't remember them having before. Obviously, it's cheaper to subscribe right off the bat for a longer period of time, but that's a nice way to try it for a short duration and see if you use it and like it. It's only $24.95 for the 6 month option.

Hank's Magnifikid is actually a series of little booklets, one for each weekend of Mass. The first one is March 4th. And it includes some relevant mazes and puzzles, as well as a recurring comic scene that looks like he'll find interesting. There's also the readings written in an kid-friendly format, with a cutout explaining the more difficult words. We'll see. I'm hoping that he'll find it to be something that he enjoys looking at in Mass. That only comes with a 1 year subscription option, and it's $34.95 (or 3 years for $79). I'll have him test it out that first weekend in March.

I don't want to rush into any subscription options, but I'm definitely intrigued. Anybody else subscribe to either of these?